Reply to Nannies - would you be grateful for this or am I out of touch.

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[quote=Anonymous]MB here. Wow, this is a tough one. It doesn't sound like you owe her anything else as paying for her BF to go and not having her work FT hours seems like a pretty good deal, *especially* if she had the choice of whether or not to accompany you. I assume she was paid her normal wage for the time. Usually a nanny on a trip would be paid extra as she is still your employee and available to work for her, so even though you paid for her BF she might have been expecting more actual compensation. You are both responsible for any misunderstanding if compensation was not directly addressed when you invited her on the trip and she accepted.

You do need to talk to her about it. Maybe you can say "It was so great that you and your BF chose to come with us on the holiday and to have you be able to do the afternoon childcare for us, we really appreciated having the help. We hope you and your BF had a great time and I just want to check if you felt that the arrangement was fair in case we ever want to consider something similar in the future."

If she says she feels she should be paid more, you need to be honest with her, e.g. "I'm so sorry for the misunderstanding and we definitely realise now that this is something that should have been discussed in more detail in advance. Because we offered you the choice to come or not, we didn't anticipate paying you more than your normal salary, and if we knew that was expected we actually would probably not have invited your BF as the combined expense would have been too much. But we really wanted you to have a good time and thought since you weren't working full time hours it would be nice for him to come with you."

She may realise that since it was not spelled out in advance, there is nothing more that can be done and to continue to angle for more money now is not realistic/would make a poor impression (e.g. if you are generally pretty generous, does it seem like she is hitting you up for more money now that the trip is over because she thinks she can guilt you into it, realising that you would not have agreed if she had asked for more in advance?).

On the other hand, if she makes a good case or is particularly upset, and you are otherwise very happy with her, you might offer a reasonable additional amount of money and consider it the cost of learning how to deal with these situations in the future. On the other hand, if she continues to suggest that you owe her something and becomes unpleasant about it, maybe you will have learned something about her!

However, one question - did you give her a Xmas bonus or gift of some kind? Because that is a separate issue and that might be what she is wondering about, especially if you have given her a bonus/gift in the past. [/quote]

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