Reply to Transitioning to a Live-In Nanny

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[quote=Anonymous]After a few years of having a live-out nanny, we are in the position where we are going to begin the search for a live-in nanny with significant housework responsibilities.  (Our current nanny is leaving in February to move out of the area.)  Our oldest child is in a wheelchair and has some significant medical needs.  We really need help before AND after school to make sure all of her care is done properly and our other children get off to school and can do some after school activities.  DH has the typical long hours, high pressure DC job and I am at home full-time for at least the next few months (PT work had to end this year with DD having four surgeries this year), so the nanny needs to be okay working alongside me.  (Our current nanny is a pro and we work great together - it takes someone special for sure!!!)  Going with a live-in is the only real solution at this point given the schedule that we want, but I am nervous about this step.  Would love input on the following items!

- Where to find someone?  We do not want to use an international au-pair, but a legal, professional nanny/housekeeper looking for a live-in position.   Care.com doesn't seem to have a whole lot of individuals looking for a live-in position.  We ideally would like someone young (they need to be able to lift DD) and high energy.

- I know aupairs are supposed to be considered part of the family and included in many family activities.  Privacy and family time are vital my mental health.  Are most professional live-in nannies better able to maintain their own lives?  Any tips on keeping healthy boundaries?

- We have a bedroom and full bath in the basement.  How much of a draw would it be to add a small kitchenette (fridge, cabinets, table, and microwave) as well?  I think having their own space for food might make the basement more like an apartment, but it will cost us a few thousand dollars.   How to handle buying food?  I would assume she would buy her own groceries for the basement kitchen, but would be free to have meals with us if she is on the clock.  Does this sound reasonable?

- We would want a significant amount of housework done.  Family laundry, clean kitchen, some meal prep and deep cleaning.  Not cleaning up after the family constantly (we are not perfect, but pretty tidy), but take the burden of laundry and deep cleaning off of me.  Will a young 20 year old be up to the task?  What advice would you give to make this aspect of the job/relationship work?

- How to write the termination clause?  I.e. if I have to let her go for cause, how what is the minimum amount to give her to move out?

- Other things to consider?

Thanks ladies.

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