Reply to Repeating requests over and over...not a language issue

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm wondering if this is your first AP, because I think most seasoned HMs will have learned to let these little things go, as long as your AP is doing a good job with your DC and keeping him or her safe.  Because, at least as you list them, these things are little things, and it does (at least, again, as you've written them) sound nit-picky.  I'm not seeing what seem like any real safety issues here.  Energy waste is annoying, it's true, but really, in our six years of hosting we have yet to have an AP who cares about our energy use the way we do.  I chalk this up to them being 19 or 22 or 26 and not being the 40-something year olds who pay the bills and who worry about the thinness of the ozone when our kids are older.

One thing I have learned to do as a HM is to try to take the big picture and focus on a few things that I really need the AP to do well.  Being attentive to your DC is of course #1.  And it may be that coats being put away nicely is a big thing for you because coming home to a messy house is upsetting when you've been gone all day.  And maybe the knives being straightened is important because you consider this a safety issue?  But then let the other things go.  Just decide you won't worry about them, you won't mention them, you won't think about them, so this way you're not annoyed when she doesn't do them the perfect way you want, and she doesn't feel like she can't please you and all you do is pick at her.  Just choose three things and help her see what you want her to do and then thank her when she does it right (positive feedback).  Once she masters those, you can pick a couple more.  Or, it may be that by that point, you love her and are so happy with her that you no longer notice the little things.  Because that is what happens.  With an AP we love, we don't notice crumbs on the counter or the fridge left open while she pours juice.  We as HMs are just so happy they are there and so grateful that they are making our lives easier that we find it endearing when they rush in, all excited, and throw their coat on the chair because they are too busy telling us about what Dc did at the park today.  It's when other things are bugging us that the little things become big.  Or, when we're just getting used to sharing space with a new person, which is, by and large, what seems to be going on here, that you have been used to having the house to yourself and now you are sharing, maybe for the first time.[/quote]

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