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[quote=Anonymous]OP-
It sounds like you've definitely gotten to close.  However, it's not unfixable and I don't think you're crazy or weird for getting so close with/in the family.
Single parents have it hard, and many single Dads are seen as having it harder because, simply, they're the dads (this isn't a good generalization, but still a common opinion).
I know when I start out at a new job, and I really like the parents, I go above and beyond.  I started a new job a few months ago, and the parents are considerate, kind, thoughtful, etc etc., and I go way more than the extra mile.  They don't expect me to do many of the things I do, but I find myself wanting to because they treat me so well and I feel so comfortable here.  So, I can relate to you wanting to do all the 'extras.'
To address another PP, I've never been a live-in, but I'm sure it's hard to sequester yourself in your bedroom just for the sake of 'separation'. - especially when it's just a bedroom, not a separate apartment like some live-ins have.
All that being said, I do think you need to start creating some boundaries.  They don't have to be dramatic, sudden, and out of nowhere.  AKA, don't make it a big deal, and it won't be.  I'm assuming he's never had a nanny, or at least hasn't had one like this situation, and it sounds like you haven't been in a nanny-employer situation like this either.  I would talk with him after the kids are sleeping, and bring it up casually and truthfully.  Tell him since you've never been a live-in before, you're unsure of how typical relationships like this work, but you do feel like some slight boundaries have been crossed, mainly being your job duties.  I would draft up a rough contract (if you don't already have one, you really should) and outline your job duties.  You can tell him you've spoken with other nannies as well as nanny agencies and they all agreed on these typical duties.  You can then tell him you'll compromise on some of them- for example, throw his laundry in the washer/dryer but you'll no longer be responsible for folding/putting away.  Another example, you'll cook dinner at night (if that's what you've been doing) so he can pack some leftovers for lunch the next day.
I hope your not doing deep cleaning on top of all this.  If so, please stop now.  Before you sit down and discuss this all with him, aside from the live-in nanny research, I would also do some housekeeping research- find out how much a weekly housekeeping service will cost him.  By doing research, quoting nanny agencies, drafting up a rough contract, you'll have it all on paper for him to see in case you get nervous to address this all with him.

Another option is, if you're anything like I was when I first started nannying, which is non-confrontational, too agreeable, and no backbone - you could always write up an email and send it to him on a Friday after your work week- or before you go away for a weekend or something.  Work on it for a few days- you'll think of stuff throughout the week you want to add in.  Make it clear and concise, non-dramatic, and like I said before, show your research (so you don't seem too demanding).  Send it and he'll hopefully either respond or bring it up with you Monday.  That way, everything you want to say has been said.

Good luck.[/quote]

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