Reply to How to Keep an Emotional Distance with the Family

Forum Index » General Discussion

Reply to "How to Keep an Emotional Distance with the Family"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]Hi fellow nannies!

I have been a nanny for several years now. I was ( and still am) extremely close with my prior family. I was with them for a number of years. However, I was only part-time, live-out. Therefore, it was easy to keep my emotional distance. Of course I loved the children as if they were my own, but I had my life and the family had theirs.

I have now started a new job (live-in) with a single dad and twin infants -- there is no mother in the picture. I do everything a SAHM would do. I shop for the children's clothes, take them to the doctor, grocery shop and plan classes and activities. The father has an extremely demanding job and usually doesn't see the kids during the week. I basically have free reign. The father and I have always had a great relationship. We clicked instantly and became very close friends. We eat dinner together nightly. I have met all of his friends and family. In fact, he encourages me to come meet his friends and not to just come to babysit the kids. We hang out together some weekend nights and have drinks. We entertain together, etc.

I find myself starting to feel as if I have gotten too close. Usually, I am made to feel as if I truly AM family. We have gotten so close that I have taken on extra responsibilities just to make his life easier -- doing his laundry, packing his lunch, etc. I do not mind doing it so long as he appreciates it and I am continued to be treated the way I have been. Subconsciously, I feel like his wife and the mother of his children.  Clearly, I am not. However, there are times when I am made to feel like an employee, and I get hurt. I do not know how to separate myself from being the wife and mother role that I play every day while just being a paid employee. As much as I am treated like family, at the end of the day, I am not.

I find myself no longer wanting to hang out with my friends or date, because I feel like I am already fulfilled. Obviously, that is not healthy. I just don't know how to back off and create a more professional relationship now.

Has anyone ever been in a similar circumstance? How do I put up some emotional boundaries? How do you deal with the fact that you are more of a parent to their children than they are, yet you are just a nanny?

Thanks so much in advance!

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics