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[quote=Anonymous]OP here: thank you for the advice.

our children are already sharing a bedroom on the top floor. the guest room is on the bottom floor, with a private bathroom, which is what i meant by not being concerned with her privacy. she would be able to retreat t her room and have relative quiet and calm and space from everyone and have her own bathroom.

I understand what everyone is saying about how treating an au pair like family, but we have so many different levels of tolerance - for instance, with my MIL, we can't run the dishwasher (above guest room) or washing machine (in laundry room adjacent to guest room) because she thinks its too loud, but when I've had my cousins come to stay with us, they've not minded any of the washing or noticed the noise very much at all - in fact, they have been more bothered by kid noise in the morning. And I think Dh and I don't have great filters - we do argue in front of the kids and we have argued in front of family before (not often)- and regardless of whether its loud, it can be snarky (something the kids likely don't pick up on, but might bother an adult in the home)...

I'm just trying to figure out if this arrangement will work with our lifestyle and our home.
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