Nope, not OP. Feel free to verify that with Jeff if you like. I don't have an issue with light housework, but that's with the understanding that kids come first. As long as MB realizes that I'm not doing those things when the child is sick or there's no preschool, I don't have an issue with it. Personally, I make it clear what I am willing to do for housework (laundry, vacuuming, sweeping, mopping, full kitchen, toilets, etc.) and what I won't do (ironing, dusting, shower/tub, windows, baseboards, polishing silver, etc.). |
Nanny here as well and unless you are hiring a young mother's helper, a detailed list is unnecessary. Personally, I'd fire someone before I'd micromanage them like this. Adult nannies should be confident and capable. I'd sit her down for a pre-planned meeting. Let her know in advance that you'd like to touch base with her to see how things are going. Do this during her work day if possible. Be blunt. Tell her what is working and tell her what's not working. If she makes excuses about not having the time, find a new nanny. This woman should be assisting you and your family to make the household run smoothly. Sounds like she is hindering the household and placing more work on you. This would not work for me. |
If she is on call for that time during the week when she has no children, this can go both ways.
Some nannies think that since they need to reserve that stretch of time solely for your family, then that is what they will do. Remember they cannot accept any jobs or make social plans for those hours so they are giving up something to be on stand-by in case they are needed. Then there are some nannies who provide strictly childcare, no housecleaning duties. I mean they always wash any dishes used and clean up any play areas before leaving. Some even offer to do the child's wash. It sounds to me as if you both are not on the same page. Tell her in detail what this position requires of her and let her know that it is best if she doesn't like doing errands and cleaning, then perhaps this is not a good match for either side. Best of luck to you both. |
She's not "on call." She is employed, and paid, and is supposed to be working. And she already agreed to do these things. She just isn't doing them. |
I don't know if you can fix this. Our previous nanny was very good for the first year that she was with us and then got progressively more lax as time went on. Every time that I tried to 'reboot' things would get better for a week or two but then quickly slide back to her preferred level of commitment. I know that it was partly my fault for saying that I didn't mind if she ran her errands with the kids, etc but she stopped putting away the kids laundry most weeks because she didn't enjoy doing it and stopped most of the light housekeeping or feeding the kids dinner most nights. I kept trying to make it work, but when she finally quit after 3.5 years all I felt was relief. Our current nanny has been with us for 7 months and the difference is amazing. I did a much better job interviewing this time around and found a professional who treats the job as such. |
I think you need to meet with her ASAP and review the contract duties she agreed to perform. Make the discussion a "poop sandwich", by complimenting her on something, then discussing your expectations, then offering praise of some kind. I would ask her, during the expectations discussion, if she is someone who is internally motivated, and just needs to know what has to be done each week and each month and will manage her time wisely and get that stuff done, or if she needs more external motivation, such as a check list for the week that she can create based on her job description. Then schedule a second meeting for 4 weeks from now and review how things have gone. If there is no appreciable improvement, put her on probation, start your search for someone new, and let her go if she doesn't shape up within 2 weeks. |
Na,nies are not maids, cooks, laundresses (for adults), Gardner's. Nannies take care of children and the needs of said children. Vacuuming, sweeping, etc., HIRE AN EFFING MAID. |
Nannies perform the tasks agreed to in the employment contract. If you don't want to vacuum, don't agree to vacuum in the contract and then just not do it. Simple. |
Please don't recommend the "sandwich" approach. It makes any thinking person wonder if the "sandwich-speaker" thinks the listener is a complete moron to not recognize the tactic, and it dilutes the value of the praise because it seems as if it's just being given because you had to come up with some "bread". |
No need to reset the button obviously look at yourself in the mirror and ask your self A question.perhaps if you are in the nanny share how much are you paying?an hour? some family pay 10$ Your expectation is too high it's your responsibility to do your household task ..obvious that's not going to work with with well experience Nanny. because you're not paying her enough to include the housework it sounds like you don't have experience with Nannys !!!sounds like you're frustrated you might have some other reason to be upset ?open up and let's help Good luck |
No need to reset the button obviously look at yourself in the mirror and ask your self A question.perhaps if you are in the nanny share how much are you paying?an hour? some family pay 10$ Your expectation is too high it's your responsibility to do your household task ..obvious that's not going to work with with well experience Nanny. because you're not paying her enough to include the housework it sounds like you don't have experience with Nannys !!!sounds like you're frustrated you might have some other reason to be upset ?open up and let's help Good luck |
Having re-read the OP, it's not clear how "new" this nanny is, (OP? 3 weeks? more or less?) so it might be best to just be blunt, as you apparently would do. However, I do think if SOME sort of compliment can be honestly given, even if it's just "I really appreciated how proactive you were your first week here." it might help. |
MB here. I'm actually a total softy, but i can see from your description that this nanny isn't going to work out . I would do the following (I'm ignoring the trolls since obviously after 9 years of good relationships with nannies you are not the major problem here).
1. Talk about the tasks during the day when her charge was at school ,mention that things didn't seem done, like the laundry. Ask her if there are any concerns about the routine she wants to discuss. Hopefully this is a wake up call that you noticed she is not doing what she is supposed to and she will shape up. But i think you know this won't happen. 2. Start looking for a new nanny. 3. When you find the new nanny (except for the 0.1% chance that things have totally turned around), tell the current nanny that things aren't working out because it doesn't seem that the "along time" part is for her. I manage people at home and at work and what I've learned is that I just don't work with certain kinds of people, because they just don't change. I think you have a case of that here. Best of luck. |