Need a Nanny and I'm overwhelmed - advice please? RSS feed

Anonymous
OP - we had a similar situation and we did not promise a big bonus if she stayed but offered to help her find a new job and gave enough lead time to do so.

You run the risk of her leaving early, but that's a risk anytime you know you are losing your nanny to school or whatever. Most nannies will tell their prospective employers when they are available. We have also done a temporary share with the new family to cover any overlap.
Anonymous
OP I don't understand why the dog is such a problem for you - presumably you had him before you had the baby, so what did you do before that? if your problem is crating him, multiple people have already told you that it would be fine to limit him to certain rooms/floors.

I really don't believe that a 70lb "pain in the ass" is "strangely wonderful" when it's time to juggle him with a baby and a stroller. don't put this on your nanny. if you think there is no other option than having the nanny walk your dog, you are correct - a nanny is not for you
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP I don't understand why the dog is such a problem for you - presumably you had him before you had the baby, so what did you do before that? if your problem is crating him, multiple people have already told you that it would be fine to limit him to certain rooms/floors.

I really don't believe that a 70lb "pain in the ass" is "strangely wonderful" when it's time to juggle him with a baby and a stroller. don't put this on your nanny. if you think there is no other option than having the nanny walk your dog, you are correct - a nanny is not for you


We just leave him at home alone usually. However when people are around, he becomes insistent for attention. Our previous attempts to put him in other rooms while guests are over resulted in the destruction of a door and two baby gates, or just constant barking. When free, he nudges people for attention, leans on them, sits on them, and if he gets ignored, starts to steal our shoes or baby toys. My husband and I have sought assistance from a dog trainer, so we know how to shut it down quickly, but it has taken practice and patience. He's not an easy beast.

I've been completely honest about my situation, so I'm not sure why you don't believe me. Even at the dog's worst in the house, whenever we go for a walk he does not pull me. I'll admit to not understanding why an afternoon walk is such a deal-breaker for a nanny, but several PP have said that it is. Ok then, good to know, question answered. It's absolutely fine to crate him for the majority of the day, but not the whole 10 hours. So I agree, a nanny might not be for me.
Anonymous
MB here who has hired two nannies in 10 years.

People are questioning you just because they are DCUM moms. Ignore them.

What I have found in searching for nannies is that there is probably a person out that will meet your needs, you just need to find them. We hired our last nanny via 4nannies.com, but she was on care.com as well. We are just wrapping up 4 great years with her. Depending on your timing, there may just be someone who wants a few months. Don't fret, and be honest when you post on any site looking for a nanny that this is through a certain date.

As for the dog, it sounds like you have two issues with the dog - (1) he is disruptive and hard to control and (2) he needs to relieve himself at some point during the day. Make sure when you post your listing that you say that you have a dog. Make clear that the nanny's sole responsibility for the dog would be to let him out (depending on if you have a fence). If you can afford a neighborhood teen to walk him daily, that might be a good bet for you. You may need to teach some of the tactics the trainer taught you to your nanny and your dogwalker.

As for background checks, we used 4nannies.com for our check. It seemed to show what we needed.

Good luck.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:MB here who has hired two nannies in 10 years.

People are questioning you just because they are DCUM moms. Ignore them.

What I have found in searching for nannies is that there is probably a person out that will meet your needs, you just need to find them. We hired our last nanny via 4nannies.com, but she was on care.com as well. We are just wrapping up 4 great years with her. Depending on your timing, there may just be someone who wants a few months. Don't fret, and be honest when you post on any site looking for a nanny that this is through a certain date.

As for the dog, it sounds like you have two issues with the dog - (1) he is disruptive and hard to control and (2) he needs to relieve himself at some point during the day. Make sure when you post your listing that you say that you have a dog. Make clear that the nanny's sole responsibility for the dog would be to let him out (depending on if you have a fence). If you can afford a neighborhood teen to walk him daily, that might be a good bet for you. You may need to teach some of the tactics the trainer taught you to your nanny and your dogwalker.

As for background checks, we used 4nannies.com for our check. It seemed to show what we needed.

Good luck.


This is excellent advice.

We have never owned a dog so I don't know what to tell you but I will say two of our old nannies have been dog owners, loved dogs and if dog responsibilities are clearly outlined at the beginning for what pay instead of pulling a "oh by the way can you" I do not see why it would be a problem. We also have non-childcare related duties that we ask our nanny to do because of the needs of our household and as long as it is something reasonable (meaning nanny has time to do it because she is not responsible for less housework), it has never been a problem. We talk about it at the interview.

Finding a nanny is really about fit. There are all kinds of people out there and if you can find someone that you realistically feel like you can connect to and trust at the interview, it is a good bet.

We like using Homepay to take care of tax filing, direct deposit, following all rules that employers have to follow (like certain disclosures) but I understand it is kind of a luxury and not absolutely required. They have a sample contract if you contact them but many other places do as well. It costs about $1200 per year (roughly, going from memory).

For background check, I recommend http://www.childcarebackground.com/. It checks multiple names (other services have extra fees), education degree verification and basically more comprehensive than the others I researched at the time.

I do not recommend offering a bonus for completing 7 months to start off. If your nanny comes to you 3 months into it and says she has another offer, you can always offer the bonus at that point. 7 months is a good amount of time and I do not think nannies will reject this position, if they think it is a good working environment with decent/good pay, because it will only be a 7 months job. In the event that they choose to leave 2 weeks short of 7 months or a similar situation, I recommend you line up some plan B options, such as talking to your daycare about early entry, flying in a relative, or a service like http://metroparentrelief.com/ or another agency. Nanny agencies often have short term backup nanny services. This is good to know about, even if after you start daycare because often your baby will be sick and you will need backup care.

Good luck. You may find that the nanny you find works out better than you expected once you get going and settled. You may even decline that spot 7 months later. We did...





nannydebsays

Member Offline
Additional expenses include about a 10% cost for paying on the books, which includes your share of employment taxes and the cost of a nanny tax company's services.

Mileage should not be a huge deal, unless it's a 30 mile drive round trip to music class any everything else. I think for a 3 month old, 2 brief outings a week is plenty, and for a 9 month old, a class, a play date, and a visit to somewhere new and exciting is plenty as well, IMO.

A nanny is the most expensive form of childcare. If you can't afford one, you could seek out a SAHM with a child the same age as yours, or look for a family daycare. Or see if there are 2 college students who could cover your needed hours between them - Nursing, Education, and Social Science majors might be the most interested.

Or, as a PP said, maybe a nanny with her own baby would be a good choice. You could offer a few dollars less per hour.

And if the retention bonus is too much financially, offer to help nanny find a new job when you no longer need her, and offer non-financial benefits if you can think of something that appeals to your choice candidate.
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