Birthday Dilemma?
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Anonymous
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The first year I worked for MB/DB I got DB a cake and MB flowers for their respective birthdays. They got me a $20 gift certificate and a framed photograph of my charge and I for my birthday. The following year I gave them each a night out of free babysitting and they wished me a happy birthday but didn't even get me a card. When they said "happy birthday" to me on the day of my birthday - without a card or gift - I said that I just wanted to forget my birthday this year (a death in the family and a zero-age birthday).
Now their birthdays are coming up again and I am unsure what to do. I feel like they were hinting that they wanted to stop birthday gifts when they didn't do anything for my birthday. On the other hand I do not want to appear petty and tit-for-tat. Also they will probably ask me to babysit on their birthdays. WWYD? TIA |
Anonymous
| Why would you ever give your boss flowers and cake? First mistake. Lesson learned? |
Anonymous
I think the free childcare so the MB/DB can go out on their birthdays is a far greater mistake! Those are very expensive gifts, OP, and they didn't even bother to get you a fricking card?! Not only would I not give them free babysitting on the evenings of their birthdays, I also would make sure I was unavailable to sit at all on those nights. |
Anonymous
| I would not get an MB or DB a birthday gift of any kind. Stop it this year. If you can't stop it completely, stick with a card, maybe one made with the kids. |
Anonymous
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MB here- you are a very thoughtful person. Your bosses, like me, sound like they don't have their act together. I forget every birthday except my kids and husband, and my dh and I don't even exchange gifts anymore.
You really don't have to get them anything. A card at the most would be sufficient, and would make them happy without making them feel like they have to reciprocate. |
Anonymous
| I never give my bosses gifts or cards. The children I give birthday and Christmas gifts to, but not the parents. |
Anonymous
| I'd bake something with the kids. This way it's not just from you but also would've been impossible without you. And a card? |
Anonymous
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I think you set a bad precedent when you offered your childcare service pro bono. This was not a wise decision since you basically agreed to work w/out pay, it's like charity work and no one owes their bosses charity work. I don't know of a single job where the employee would go to work off - the - clock just to wish their bosses a Happy Birthday. Even Wal-mart + McDonalds workers have more sense than to do this.
While it is acceptable to accept gifts from your bosses, (after all you provide a HUGE service to them!) it isn't the same for you gifting them. It probably made them feel awkward so now they may be trying to give you a hint. I wouldn't offer my babysitting services free of charge again, but if they ask you to this year, you should most definitely decline. If they get angry over that, then that speaks volumes on their characters. |
Anonymous
Gifts flowvdown. Employees DO NOT give employer a gift of any significance, e.g., free babysitting. You gave them a $60.00 gift if you are making $15 an hour. Ridiculous. Wish them a happy birthday and that is all. Stop wasting your time and money. Obviously, they did not appreciate your gift. |
Anonymous
| They certainly should have done something for your birthday. Of course, I would not give them the gift of your services again or even be available to babysit on those nights for pay. Skip the whole thing as they did your birthday. |
Anonymous
Exactly. |
Anonymous
I concur! |
nannydebsays
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Help the kids make a card, and wish your employers a Happy Birthday.
It's a kind of archaic notion, but "Gifts flow down, not up." is good thing to remember. |