Please help me reframe my relationship with my MB
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Anonymous
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I love my charge and love my job. My only issue is with the personality of my MB. She is a difficult woman who never compliments but always finds fault. I am not alone in my feelings either - in the course of the last 16 months every single person on her team at work has either quit or transferred. She never says even "good morning" and has never, ever asked even a polite, "how are you?" She will find fault with basically nothing. She is the same way with her husband.
I don't want to quit. And I don't want a big show down. Sometimes remembering how insecure she is helps me but lately that has been failing. Any suggestions? |
Anonymous
| How much do you need to see this pathetic woman? |
Anonymous
OP here. I see her every morning for about 30 minutes (on average). There are times when she has said something that makes me steam for the entire day even if I correct her and speak up for myself. I just want to see her short-comings in a different light so that I don't have those days where I steam all day. |
Anonymous
| How about if you tell her you're sorry she's feeling that way today? And then smile at her and walk away. Just like a child, wants your attention and engagement. Or you can minimize the engagement and simply walk away. If you're consistent, she'll learn her negative behavior is no longer working for her. |
Anonymous
| Keep a little mantra of "It is not personal" when she is being a bitch (which sounds like every day). |
Anonymous
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Take those days of "steamy" as a reminder that this is just a job. This job will end one day soon and you will probably not see the charge you love again. You are not family, OP. You do not have to put up with your lousy boss if you do not want to. Sure, you love your charge but this is a job where you deserve to me treated right.
Distance yourself now, OP. |
Anonymous
Curious, are you a nanny or a parent? |
Anonymous
Nanny |
Anonymous
Interesting. Even though maybe they should, most nannies I know understand that this (often very hard) work isn't "just a job". It's a child. |
Anonymous
ugh not the PP but can't you just stay on topic and not judge somebody trying to give what they believe to be helpful advice? |
Anonymous
Good advice. Also, do you have regular sit-downs with BOTH parents to discuss how things are going? If not, maybe you could ask for one, and in the context of that discussion ask them to confirm if they trust your judgment, are pleased with your work, etc... But it sounds like you recognize this is her issue, not yours, which is good. |
Anonymous
| Look for precipitating events, OP. My MB is always the bitchiest and most critical after her DC has done something for the first time with me or asked for me or was overly affectionate with me in front of MB. It is insecurity and nothing more. |
Anonymous
| I grew up with a father like this. I just began to look at his behavior as entertaining. It is a bit ridiculous to watch an adult behave in such a childish way, and sometimes you just have to shake your head and chuckle. You know she's being a brat. Brush it off and keep it moving. Do not let this woman ruin your name with her nonsense. |
Anonymous
| Remember that you did not become a nanny to work with parents - you became a nanny to work with children. As long as you are cool with your relationship with your charge that is all that really matters. |
nannydebsays
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| Maybe when she is being rude you could try thinking, "Wow, it's so sad for someone with such a terrific kid to be so constantly miserable. I do feel sorry for my MB." |