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[Post New]05/08/2015 15:35
quote
nannydebsays

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Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Honest question, no snark intended: what would you prefer her response be instead of "I know."?

Same question to the second scenario. What are your expectations? What do you want her to say?


I would expect her to act interested in sharing information/stories about the thing the two of them have in common: her charge. That's not micromanaging; it's relating to another person who presumably shares your interest in something. A comment or two about what the child did over the weekend should be met with, at the very least, polite interest from someone who presumably cares about that child.


Yes, but if OP is "reminding" nanny about mundane stuff ****that nanny already does effectively and efficiently****, I think the best response she can hope for is, "OK, I will."

Let's think about this issue with a MB being "reminded" to do her job.

Boss: "MB, I just wanted to remind you to get those weekly reports in by Friday. Oh, and make sure the monthly expense summaries are in by the end of the month too!"

MB <seething with resentment, because for 18 months she has managed to get the weekly/monthly stuff submitted at or even before deadline, even when Boss is away and cannot "remind" her>: "I know." vs. "OK, I will."
[Post New]05/08/2015 18:12
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Anonymous
If you are receiving a lot of "I know" responses from your nanny, perhaps you are asking her repetitive questions, things that she is simply tired of answering. Or perhaps in her opinion...She feels you are micro-managing her + she is getting sick of it.

Just a thought here.

And I think she is getting annoyed at you, thus responding that "he does this w/me too," every time you let her know something cute your son has done.

Some open communication is due now. While I wouldn't necessarily address her "I know" responses as such, I would just approach her + broadly ask her if she is content w/her job and if she has anything she wants to get off her chest.

Let her know that open and excellent communication is vital in the success of your nanny/parent relationship and that if she has anything she would like to address w/you about her job, then you encourage her to do so.

Hopefully she will use that as an opening tool as to why she always responds that she "knows."

Good luck.
[Post New]05/08/2015 18:15
quote
Anonymous
18:12 PP Here:

Clarification - I meant to say that I think she is annoyed by you asking repetitive questions + that is why she responds sarcastically to you when you discuss cute things your son does. In other words, her annoyance is carrying on to other topics and conversations.
[Post New]05/08/2015 18:46
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Anonymous
If you believe she doesn't know how to do her job after 18 months, something is clearly wrong.

Or is it you being a nag?
[Post New]05/08/2015 20:29
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:If you believe she doesn't know how to do her job after 18 months, something is clearly wrong.

Or is it you being a nag?


My their, too.
[Post New]05/08/2015 20:50
quote
Anonymous
The "I know" is telling you that she knows. And the advanced thing that your child did on the weekend is probably something the nanny taught him/her or has been working on for awhile with your kid.

I don't know what is in her mind but she is clearly frustrated or getting tired of you.
[Post New]05/08/2015 21:33
quote
Anonymous
My MB is always telling me, in an astonished tone, things that my charge did over the weekend. Like: "Larla knows all her letters - here is a video of her signing the ABC Song". Well... I have been teaching her the ABC's for months! How about a "good work, nanny!". I can guess your nanny is the same. It is frustrating to never be recognized for anything we do for our charges and them have to put up with your surprise and delight at how your child just picked up something magically!
[Post New]05/08/2015 23:53
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:My MB is always telling me, in an astonished tone, things that my charge did over the weekend. Like: "Larla knows all her letters - here is a video of her signing the ABC Song". Well... I have been teaching her the ABC's for months! How about a "good work, nanny!". I can guess your nanny is the same. It is frustrating to never be recognized for anything we do for our charges and them have to put up with your surprise and delight at how your child just picked up something magically!


Yep. Kids don't magically just come up with this stuff. Your 2 1/2 year old isn't talking about the planets out of nowhere. He's doing it because his nanny, who spends most of his waking time with him, taught him about the planets.
[Post New]05/09/2015 00:14
quote
Anonymous
Her response to me implies that she feels micromanaged. I wouldn't respond with "I know", but I would definitely be irritated, if someone "reminded" me of things I do everyday. It would seem as if I've never done these things properly...hence the constant reminders.
[Post New]05/09/2015 06:57
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Honest question, no snark intended: what would you prefer her response be instead of "I know."?

Same question to the second scenario. What are your expectations? What do you want her to say?


I would expect her to act interested in sharing information/stories about the thing the two of them have in common: her charge. That's not micromanaging; it's relating to another person who presumably shares your interest in something. A comment or two about what the child did over the weekend should be met with, at the very least, polite interest from someone who presumably cares about that child.


I agree. Our nanny would come in Monday morning asking about the kids weekend right away. I didn't have to tell her anything. She's now no longer our nanny (we do APs) and she calls quite often asking about the kids, wanting to visit.

That's the kind of person you want watching your kids.
[Post New]05/09/2015 07:04
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Honest question, no snark intended: what would you prefer her response be instead of "I know."?

Same question to the second scenario. What are your expectations? What do you want her to say?


I would expect her to act interested in sharing information/stories about the thing the two of them have in common: her charge. That's not micromanaging; it's relating to another person who presumably shares your interest in something. A comment or two about what the child did over the weekend should be met with, at the very least, polite interest from someone who presumably cares about that child.


I agree. Our nanny would come in Monday morning asking about the kids weekend right away. I didn't have to tell her anything. She's now no longer our nanny (we do APs) and she calls quite often asking about the kids, wanting to visit.

That's the kind of person you want watching your kids.


This nanny, I am sure, is interested in her charge. What she isn't interested in is an MB who never gives her credit for that fact that the nanny is teaching him things during the week. I have much the same situation in that my MB will always tell me on Monday mornings what her parents taught her daughter to do over the weekend - and it is always something I have been working with her on for weeks.
[Post New]05/09/2015 07:19
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I am getting a lot of "I know" responses from our nanny lately. She is a wonderful nanny and has been with us for 18 months. I generally just tell her things as a reminder or just to double check on what she might be doing. Only lately have I been getting the "I know" responses. She also feels the need to lately to tell me "yes, he does that with me" every time I point out something cute or advanced DS did over the weekend when she never used to.

What gives? If I am doing something wrong to elicit these responses, I really do want to know.

TIA


You are telling her things that she already knows and does, OP. Hence the "I know" responses. You have probably always done this but after 18 months, it is getting on her nerves.

And "yes, he does that with me" is clearly in response to you not giving her credit for what she does or what she is teaching him. Not that she is not interested in your child anymore -- just that you probably don't give her credit for her influence and work with your child.

Example: MB showed me a video of her father pushing my change on the swings and her father running around the swing and making my charge laugh. MB said something like, "I can't believe how much fun he [my charge] is having!" Well, I can believe it because I make her son laugh like that on the swing EVERY SINGLE DAY.
[Post New]05/09/2015 08:01
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Honest question, no snark intended: what would you prefer her response be instead of "I know."?

Same question to the second scenario. What are your expectations? What do you want her to say?


I would expect her to act interested in sharing information/stories about the thing the two of them have in common: her charge. That's not micromanaging; it's relating to another person who presumably shares your interest in something. A comment or two about what the child did over the weekend should be met with, at the very least, polite interest from someone who presumably cares about that child.


I agree. Our nanny would come in Monday morning asking about the kids weekend right away. I didn't have to tell her anything. She's now no longer our nanny (we do APs) and she calls quite often asking about the kids, wanting to visit.

That's the kind of person you want watching your kids.


This nanny, I am sure, is interested in her charge. What she isn't interested in is an MB who never gives her credit for that fact that the nanny is teaching him things during the week. I have much the same situation in that my MB will always tell me on Monday mornings what her parents taught her daughter to do over the weekend - and it is always something I have been working with her on for weeks.


Maybe the problem is you are so cold and uninterested in conversing with your employer that they don't know what you are supposedly working with their child on. I wouldn't believe your story if you were to claim you often mentioned working on X and Y and then the parents still can in on Mondays and said "Grandma taught DS X yesterday."

In other words try to be a better and more sociable employee and talk with your employer instead of running out the door exactly at 6pm and maybe you will have a better relationship and more enjoyable life.
[Post New]05/09/2015 08:09
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Honest question, no snark intended: what would you prefer her response be instead of "I know."?

Same question to the second scenario. What are your expectations? What do you want her to say?


I would expect her to act interested in sharing information/stories about the thing the two of them have in common: her charge. That's not micromanaging; it's relating to another person who presumably shares your interest in something. A comment or two about what the child did over the weekend should be met with, at the very least, polite interest from someone who presumably cares about that child.


I agree. Our nanny would come in Monday morning asking about the kids weekend right away. I didn't have to tell her anything. She's now no longer our nanny (we do APs) and she calls quite often asking about the kids, wanting to visit.

That's the kind of person you want watching your kids.


This nanny, I am sure, is interested in her charge. What she isn't interested in is an MB who never gives her credit for that fact that the nanny is teaching him things during the week. I have much the same situation in that my MB will always tell me on Monday mornings what her parents taught her daughter to do over the weekend - and it is always something I have been working with her on for weeks.


Maybe the problem is you are so cold and uninterested in conversing with your employer that they don't know what you are supposedly working with their child on. I wouldn't believe your story if you were to claim you often mentioned working on X and Y and then the parents still can in on Mondays and said "Grandma taught DS X yesterday."

In other words try to be a better and more sociable employee and talk with your employer instead of running out the door exactly at 6pm and maybe you will have a better relationship and more enjoyable life.


PP here and I never "run out the door". We talk for about fifteen minutes while we do the transition. I simply do not "toot my own horn" -- but you're right, PP, I should. I should make a point of telling my employer every thing I have done well that day and everything that my charge learned through my teaching.

They have nanny cams so I guess I assumed that MB and DB were watching me with their child at times during the day.

Thank you for the advice.
[Post New]05/09/2015 08:23
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Honest question, no snark intended: what would you prefer her response be instead of "I know."?

Same question to the second scenario. What are your expectations? What do you want her to say?


I would expect her to act interested in sharing information/stories about the thing the two of them have in common: her charge. That's not micromanaging; it's relating to another person who presumably shares your interest in something. A comment or two about what the child did over the weekend should be met with, at the very least, polite interest from someone who presumably cares about that child.


I agree. Our nanny would come in Monday morning asking about the kids weekend right away. I didn't have to tell her anything. She's now no longer our nanny (we do APs) and she calls quite often asking about the kids, wanting to visit.

That's the kind of person you want watching your kids.


This nanny, I am sure, is interested in her charge. What she isn't interested in is an MB who never gives her credit for that fact that the nanny is teaching him things during the week. I have much the same situation in that my MB will always tell me on Monday mornings what her parents taught her daughter to do over the weekend - and it is always something I have been working with her on for weeks.


Maybe the problem is you are so cold and uninterested in conversing with your employer that they don't know what you are supposedly working with their child on. I wouldn't believe your story if you were to claim you often mentioned working on X and Y and then the parents still can in on Mondays and said "Grandma taught DS X yesterday."

In other words try to be a better and more sociable employee and talk with your employer instead of running out the door exactly at 6pm and maybe you will have a better relationship and more enjoyable life.


PP here and I never "run out the door". We talk for about fifteen minutes while we do the transition. I simply do not "toot my own horn" -- but you're right, PP, I should. I should make a point of telling my employer every thing I have done well that day and everything that my charge learned through my teaching.

They have nanny cams so I guess I assumed that MB and DB were watching me with their child at times during the day.

Thank you for the advice.


Nanny cams are for if they come home one day and see their child all bruised and with a big hand mark on their face. They either watch the tapes are watch during the next day (if they don't just fire you there.) No one just watches you work.

And I don't see how it's tooting your own horn to say what you did and what her child did.
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