DB comments
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Hi all. I have been nanny to a beautiful boy for over a year. He is 18 months now. My schedule is 7AM-5PM, $15 an hour. While I get along with the parents and we have no real issues, there are a few small things that bother me and I would like feedback on. The main thing is DB's comments. My charge takes one afternoon nap that usually lasts 2-3 hours. At least three times prior to this week, DB has made comments along the lines of "must be nice to only work a half day!" "wow, you really get the whole afternoon off, huh?" Things like that. The past few weeks baby's afternoon naps are getting shorter. Yesterday as I was leaving and we were talking about the day, DB says something again about what a big break I get and how I must be upset that now I don't get to "do nothing" all afternoon. I am starting to get offended by these comments and feel it's pretty rude of him to say things like this. Am I overreacting? I keep things clean and neat, dishes done. It's as if he is insulted he has to pay me for being here while his child is sleeping.
Another issue I have is with MB. She works close by so often stops home for lunch and to take their dog out. The problem is that she ALWAYS comes during nap time, and often wakes baby up. Then she will cuddle him for a few minutes then back to work, while half his nap is now gone and he is awake and crabby. Sometimes it really feels like she is purposefully being loud. I can't tell someone not to come to their own home and I get that her lunch is when it is but come on! It is so frustrating. On days he isn't woken up, she will make a lunch and eat and chat. Which is fine, but this is MY TIME!! My only time during the day and often when I am trying to get school work done. I don't know how to address this or if I should. Third issue is the dog. They haven't asked me to walk the dog or anything, probably because they used to have a dog walker so they know full well that it is actually a job. However, the dog just annoys the crap out of me. Barks at everything, constantly scrounging for food. DB insisted on me staying after one day to walk the dog with him so I could see what it's like "just in case". And now today come to find out the dog is has been sick and is better now but coughing so forcefully she vomits. MB said she is "better" but just in case left out cleaning supplies. It's not a huge deal but it's not my job!!! Am I totally overreacting here? These are all small issues I suppose but it's building frustration. Thanks for the help! |
Anonymous
| What a rude jerk! You should tell him that if he likes he could home while the baby naps and let you leave to do other things then. Oh wait he is at work and can't and that's why they have a nanny! Some people just don't have a filter and I would be searching for another position. Do daycare workers get to just leave while their classes nap? Do he and his wife not consider themselves in charge of their child's care while they sleep at night? And as for the mb coming home during the day, well yes it would be hard to deal with. If you can hear the garage open or know what time you should just disappear into the babies room and sit quietly in a rocking chair while she takes care of the dog. And if she asks why tell her you just want to make sure he is sleeping soundly. But it also wouldn't hurt to have a honest talk with her about disturbing him and asking if they have an issue with the baby sleeping for a certain amount of time. Babies should sleep on demand. And most should get 18 hours of sleep per day before they are 1. But either way please look for people that respect you. More than likely she isn't waking him on accident considering dbs rude uncouth remarks |
Anonymous
| Pp here sorry just realized that the baby is 18 months so doesn't require so much sleep. But if he is sleeping it's because he needs it. Just quit |
Anonymous
| The parents seem pretty self-centered. Poor kid. |
Anonymous
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I think that you just need to let DB's crappy remarks go. He probably does resent having to pay you so much for something he considers "easy." But he has never done it before, so he doesn't get what a hard job it is. And TBH, he probably never will. Just smile and move on.
I would address the nap thing with MB. That she is waking him up from his naps. You all are on a team here to take care of this child. My kids sleep like crap at night if they are woken up from their naps during the day, so it may be in her best interest not to wake him up. However, it is also possible that the parents can't get him to go to bed at night when he is taking such a long nap during the day. Who knows? Yes, they should be up front with you, but they don't sound like the most socially adept of people, so you are going to have to initiate that conversation. Also, why don't they hire a dog walker anymore? Are they having financial trouble? If they had some kind of financial hit or a job loss, and are making a lot of personal sacrifices to continue paying you your normal salary, they may have a subconscious feeling that you "owe" them, and it might be good to get that out in the air. I don't know what to tell you about the dog vomit and the cleaning products. I don't have a dog, but I would probably do the same thing. I don't really see what the other options are. I mean, you can't leave a pile of dog vomit on the floor with an 18 month old running around the house. |
Anonymous
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As is so often the case, the children are precious, but the parents are (almost) always the problem.
If only they knew that's why we left! |
Anonymous
| I'm confused. I thought your charge took 2 -3 hours AFTERNOON naps a day yet you are also saying MB wakes charges up when home for lunch. So that doesn't quite add up. Also you are annoyed with MB for interrupting your "only" time, yet on the other hand DB is saying you have 3 hours a day to yourself. Sorry I don't feel too much sympathy that you can't get your school work done. If MB is there for an hour max, that still leaves you 1 -2 hours to yourself... I think all the DB/MB out there would love to work full time AND have 2-3 hours DURING work for personal time! work is work... you are getting paid so if she interrupts it so be it. it is on her dime. |
Anonymous
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No sympathy for the school work thing -- you have been very lucky to have this kind of time to get paid to do your homework. It's not a work/study job at the library.
A 2-3 hour nap is long, but not crazy for an 18-month old, and obviously someone has to be there! The only way to get DB to stop is to address him about the comments directly. Spend some time composing a polite, non-confrontational way to say the comments are hurting your feelings. MB may be making a passive-aggressive move to break up the nap because she also feels your job is too easy. That also needs to be addressed. This will be harder. How often is she coming home? |
Anonymous
I don't know that "too easy" is the right word, but if taking a 3 hour nap means that he doesn't go to bed until 10pm or wakes up at 4am or something, I can see how that would be annoying. If you are a SAHM, you can make that decision. But when the two of you are effectively splitting the care of this child, it is kind of unfair that you get the bonus time (long nap), and she has to deal with the consequences (up late, wakes up during the night, etc) |
Anonymous
| Man nannies really will do anything to work as little as possible, even harm the child.... No 1 year old should be sleeping for 18 hours a day, no matter how tough you feel your job may be. I was on maternity leave for 4 months after DC was born and then when our nanny took over I specifically instructed her to not put him down for naps, at all. |
Anonymous
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It is past time for you to find another job and leave. They will only get worse
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Anonymous
| Yes, find another job before your current charge outgrows naps entirely. Please find a job that pays you to study. Maybe just keep aiming for kids only under 9-12 months who still take 3 naps a day. |
Anonymous
Agreed. I think you are overreacting AND I think your real dissatisfaction with your job has little to do with these things and everything to do with your expectation that you should have 3 hours off a day to do your homework. You are unreasonable in your expectations and should look for a new job. I'm willing to bet it will be difficult for another family to allow you substantial time on the job to do your own thing. |
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Her lunch is in the late afternoon so she comes home for HER lunch during his nap. |
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Where in the world do you get any sort of harm out of this? 18 hours a day? Read the post before you rudely respond. No clue what you're talking about with having a 4 month old not have any naps at all, either. That's ridiculous. |