taken advantaged of?

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02/28/2014 04:17

Subject: taken advantaged of?

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puppiD

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Joined: 02/28/2014 03:24
Messages: 9
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I have been working as a live-in nanny for a family of three kids for 7 months now and planning to quit in three weeks because I dont feel motivated anymore, my personality is changing and Iam moody and depressed most of the week iam in the house untilll thursday... then friday!
when i was hired I was new to nanny-ing and did not know what 'light house keeping' meant or 'working some weekends as required" were . i started off alright. I love the gals aged 4,7 and 9. full of energy and interesting. we have grown close and they usually expect a present from me now and again when i return from the weekends. I make it a point to give them a gift on their birthday and candy when i can. they spend alot of time with me and usually literally crowd my space. when i leave to go to my room, they follow me around. hang around me when i want to go to the bathroom and so on.
however the parents are something else. when i started work, they told me the gals were independent and only the four year old needed most attention, the two older ones could take care of them selves, however gradually they all became dependent on me because they do some direction.
then housework became what i thought was light cleaning. mop, clean, sweep wash dishes, prep dinner, and worse still the parents are VERY particular and finicky... i must wake up at 5am thrice or twice a week to prepare meals for the kids, which the lady takes out of too, if dishes are in the sink for more than 5 minutes they get iffy about it and want them washed instantly, leaving me washing at times for two hours because the kids pick and drop every moment. cleaning the house is a task and the smallest things irk them and they will bring it to my attention on sunday when i return... like the bathroom water knob looks foggy or has droplets of water, the fridge has finger prints, the glass table was foggy; the childrens bags should be arranged with their lunch boxes in a particular way on the dinning table and if that is not in order, i am called up to make sure i do it before bed time.
i was asked to come in on sunday by 7pm. its not so easy and i usually inform because I get dropped off by an equally busy person. I have constantly explained to my bosses the transportation problem, they are not willling to pick me up saying they are tired and need to rest too. four months into the job, the husband started to do school on saturdays and some WEEKS i would be asked to stay in till saturday afternoon because wife works. it did not sit well with me since while iam at the house, i dont have house keys and they have refused to issue me with any. iam not allowed to leave the house because they claim mail gets dropped at the house and someone needs to pick it up or sometimes the kids may come back from school impromptu (never happened, although they claim it has)
when i asked about overtime, they got mad at me accounting their own stories of their jobs that require them to work and doesnt pay over time.
then it got worse, they got comfortable... apart from frying the food i have already boiled, all they did was get in and then get on to work in their studies for hours, so i watched the kids till bed time which would be extended too because checking their homework took hours, as the parents did this as they worked from home.
I get it they are busy . they opted to take laundry and ironing kids clothes off my checklist more because it was convenient for them to get their own clothes washed too , over the weekend which inadvertently leaves mine unwashed
i started to get more tired and claustrophobic, restless and depressed with the no taking walks rule.
once i got into a discussion close to argument with the Lady over days off, i was asking for Christmas off and she said she would see what to do about it since she may work through and need someone there. i had been given thanksgiving off and she brought that up declaring it was a priviledge. i then asked her to clarify on that and it led to a bigger discussion with the hubby present saying he had heard about our discussion and wanted to solve the issue, i simply said i asked forclarity if my going off for thanks giving was taken badly and thus i must pay back by not having christmas off... the speech came, 'you are like a family member here, like a sister, you are not a slave or a maid,' blablabla
but the issue wasnt laid off there was some tension and again i was put down for antoher talk as insisted by the wife. long story short, i stood my ground and i got my holiday anyhow

then lately at the beginning of the year, we had another confrontation, I had just returned from a weekend off and informed them i was having some problem with transport but was on my way, i came in 30 mins later than 7pm and walked into a colllld atmosphere , only the kids said hi when i quipped my greeting. i put away my stuff and was told when i was done feeding the kids and putting them to bed we needed to talk
the talk we had felt like a lengthy discussion of me over the weeknd with phrases coming off like 'you treat us like you are doing us a favor ,' 'learn to be humble,' and so on
i told them i dint mean anything of what they said however i was trying to let them know how i felt about somethings. i brougt up the issue of transport, the issue of no house keys, the issue of utter confinement, housework and the kids were alot to take on , including their particular demands, i had to deal with knowing they would always be mad at something i did or did not do and also that i hated being talked to like i was a child, constantly crowded and i told them they were too inquisitive about things that did not concern them.
the talk did not help much , they took it badly but seemed to change somethings
however lately, i was shocked to be told by the lady that she goes into my room on weekends, the intrusion made me feel terrible and started to castigate me on how i put away my belongings, then went on about the bathroom knobs being foggy , the coffee maker not rinsed out, the fridge door not wiped. i had told her earlier i was not well and nothing was coming up from my docs analysis except, 'you are probably fatigued and could do with some rest,'
this bit of lecturing ticked me off. i am not paid enough to do all that. besides that i buy my own fruit and veggies and i am told its over filling the fridge and yet they have stuff to put away. this for me was my final straw. I am so much more irritated . all i got before was 'thank you' 'we appreciate you,' etc
after the grilling i was asked to stay in for a weekend, overnite stay all weekend some time in march. i am not happy about that.... they also mentioned to me how they were told form reliable friends that i am being paid too much and going off every week was too much i should be paid 200 dollars less and go off every fortnight.
I am pretty much burnt out, i am forgetting things, a bit cold with the children, one day i forgot to cook anything for some reason, forgot to take the trash out and just was out of my usual element of orderliness.
i feel empty and depressed and though i don't have another job lined up, i just want to quit sleep off a whole week, travel in the outdoors and then think clearly on the way forward, i am beginning to doubt myself and whether i am the one who needs to adjust more. they are very inflexible on a number of issues i have raised and try to compensate with giving me wifi on my laptop and phone, and other small gestures. i feel trapped that i did say yes to things that were grey and vague and feel the only way out of this is to quit since they constantly refer to what we talked about and wont increase my pay. they seem to simply hear me but not LISTEN to my issues or what i tell them and yet require me to listen and do over and above what i am to do. my work is deteriorating and worse still i don't care anymore.
because i find them very emotionally manipulating, i want to leave the right way, some friends have advised me not to give notice because i dont know what they would do, i think its only professional to do so but i need help on how to go about it because iam bleeping red and cant go more than two more weeks

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