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The main thing to consider is you’re hiring a live in helper, not just childcare. You’ve gotta be ok with the roommate dynamic, house rules, privacy, and someone around a lot. I used Go Au Pair and the best matches were the ones where we were super clear about expectations before they arrived.
That’s a lot for just 16 hours a week. With childcare, cooking, driving, and cleaning, you should ask at least $25–30 an hour depending on your area. It’s more than a light housekeeping role, so make sure they understand the workload.
Yes, I’ve worked for one like that. Everything was about their image and control. No matter how much I did, it was never enough. Once I left, I realized how draining it had been. Trust your gut if you sense that pattern.
If the parents disagree, that’s already a red flag. You’d end up caught between them. Since the dad’s rules would make the job stressful and limit what you can do with the kids, it may not be worth it. Look for a family whose expectations match your comfort and health needs.
For the 6-year-old, try crafts, baking simple snacks, or outdoor games. For the 2-year-old, do sensory play with water, blocks, or finger paints. Read together, sing songs, and include both in small chores like setting the table. Keep it warm and calm so they feel safe and have fun.
It sounds like she’s keeping a strict boundary with you but relaxes around people she sees as friends. That’s about her, not you. Some employers can’t mix warmth with professionalism. If you’ve been steady for 6 years, that says more about your reliability than her attitude.
The first months can feel slow because you’re basically teaching how your household works. Think of it more like onboarding. It pays off later because once they get it, things run smoother than daycare or babysitters. If I could go back, I’d ask more “show me” questions. Like, “show me how you would talk to a frustrated child” instead of “are you patient.” We hosted through Go Au Pair. Having a local coordinator to talk to when things felt unclear was nice.
That’s such a thoughtful post. It says a lot about both your family and your nanny. She sounds like someone any family would be lucky to have. I’m sure this will help her find another great position quickly.
You’re absolutely right to question this. You showed up on time and fulfilled what was agreed. The agency failed to notify you about the schedule change, so you shouldn’t have to lose pay for their mistake. You deserve compensation for the full 4 hours, or at least the 1.5 hours you waited. It’s not professional for them to expect you to work for free, and yes, it’s a small red flag if they don’t take responsibility.
That sounds like an awful experience, and your reaction is completely valid. Those incidents cross a clear line of respect and safety. If you can, have a calm but firm talk with the parents and explain what happened and how it made you feel. If they don’t take it seriously or things don’t improve, it’s worth looking for another position. No job is worth being treated that way.
That’s actually really nice of them to include you. It’s probably just their way of showing appreciation and wanting you to be part of the fun. If you’re comfortable, go and enjoy the evening, it can be a great way to bond with the family.
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