Asking nanny to report on how time is used

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am in the same situation and recently asked the nanny to log how she spends her time when the kids are not at home. She just wasn't getting through the basic tasks we agreed upon, but I was seeing lots of evidence that she was spending time transacting personal business and doing personal errands. So far she has ignored my request. I plan to repeat it, but have begun looking to replace her.

Your chances of success will increase only if you stop expecting a "nanny" (as you say,) to do your housecleaning.

Let's be honest. Your needs are housekeeper/sitter.

There are plenty of nanny/housekeepers out there. Some people may only work with very young children, but once kids start school, if the job is to continue then it's usually the case that household duties are added. Those duties may involve light housekeeping, maybe laundry, maybe errands, maybe even full housekeeping. If the nanny/housekeeper isn't doing her job, then she should be replaced with someone who will do the job.

Unless you have a very small and you have abnormally tidy kids, most nannies won't transition to doing full housekeeping, it's just too much work. Full laundry, cooking, errands, some houekeeping, sure, but not the full house.

I am the above poster. Who said I was looking for the nanny to clean my house? I am talking about basic nanny tasks like the kids' laundry, emptying the diaper pails and stocking the changing stations, preparing food for the kids, organizing their toys and playspace, changing the crib sheets, planning activities, etc. She is paid over $20 per hour. She is a sitter, and not a very talented one, masquerading as a nanny. I have no idea why so many nannies on here rush to defend bad nannies. The bad ones reflect poorly on all of you, and that should make you angry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am in the same situation and recently asked the nanny to log how she spends her time when the kids are not at home. She just wasn't getting through the basic tasks we agreed upon, but I was seeing lots of evidence that she was spending time transacting personal business and doing personal errands. So far she has ignored my request. I plan to repeat it, but have begun looking to replace her.

Your chances of success will increase only if you stop expecting a "nanny" (as you say,) to do your housecleaning.

Let's be honest. Your needs are housekeeper/sitter.

There are plenty of nanny/housekeepers out there. Some people may only work with very young children, but once kids start school, if the job is to continue then it's usually the case that household duties are added. Those duties may involve light housekeeping, maybe laundry, maybe errands, maybe even full housekeeping. If the nanny/housekeeper isn't doing her job, then she should be replaced with someone who will do the job.

Unless you have a very small and you have abnormally tidy kids, most nannies won't transition to doing full housekeeping, it's just too much work. Full laundry, cooking, errands, some houekeeping, sure, but not the full house.

I am the above poster. Who said I was looking for the nanny to clean my house? I am talking about basic nanny tasks like the kids' laundry, emptying the diaper pails and stocking the changing stations, preparing food for the kids, organizing their toys and playspace, changing the crib sheets, planning activities, etc. She is paid over $20 per hour. She is a sitter, and not a very talented one, masquerading as a nanny. I have no idea why so many nannies on here rush to defend bad nannies. The bad ones reflect poorly on all of you, and that should make you angry.

I was responding to the PP who said that nannies transition to full housekeeping, which is unrealistic for most houses and nannies. I previously posted that I thought you should replace the nanny, as she isn't fulfilling what she agreed in the contract.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Although I asked our nanny to write down each day what's she's doing, she instead created a list of what she does each specific day of the week. Here's what was on it:
- Clean kitchen (we actually leave the kitchen very clean - this *might* include wiping the kitchen counter and putting the last cereal bowl in the dishwasher if the child was slow to eat breakfast that day)
- Kids' laundry, 1-2 loads
- Fold and put away laundry (note that this is a separate line item from kids' laundry; note also that I happen to know she isn't doing this in the a.m., as laundry folding usually happens during naptime and my older child helps with it; we also often come home to a basket of unfolded laundry sitting in laundry room, and my kids, with exception of the youngest, put away their own clothes. For the youngest, those clothes are often left in a basket by her room.)
- vacuum (no way this is happening daily, and I'd be surprised if it even happens weekly. I often vacuum after dinner because the floors are dirty with food from lunch, and I do the entire main level.)
- make lunch (she either makes PB&J or reheats leftovers; there is no big effort here, and I know that most days she's not doing this until the kids are home from school)
- clean up living room and kitchen (I see what it looks like before we go to bed; she's not cleaning up much of anything, if anything at all)
- straighten bookshelves/cubbies (apparently this is aspirational, as these certainly haven't been getting done with any frequency)
I should note that she does do the basics, mostly, and will run errands when asked, and seems to believe she's trying hard. She believes she has great work ethic. She honestly probably has less work ethic than any other child care provider we've had (but maybe we've just had really great people before).

So, all in all, what's she's done is listed what she should be doing, but hasn't been doing, or has in some cases been doing while the kids are home. Her lists actually confirmed for me that the morning hours don't make any sense. I guess the next decision point is considering whether we want to keep paying for a lot of hours that don't add value, or to reduce hours and likely find a new nanny. I'm leaning toward the second option.

Have you been able to get another one yet?

[Anonymous]

OP here. Our nanny has stepped up her game a bit and now I am seeing evidence that she is using the time at least somewhat productively. We'll see how long it lasts. She is still not particularly proactive, but for now I am willing to see how it goes over the next month or so. List plus clear reminders may be what we have to do for the time being. No energy to look for new nanny right now; maybe during summer, as our childcare needs will change a little bit then and will definitely change the following school year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Our nanny has stepped up her game a bit and now I am seeing evidence that she is using the time at least somewhat productively. We'll see how long it lasts. She is still not particularly proactive, but for now I am willing to see how it goes over the next month or so. List plus clear reminders may be what we have to do for the time being. No energy to look for new nanny right now; maybe during summer, as our childcare needs will change a little bit then and will definitely change the following school year.

Fearing your job may be in jeopardy is a hell of a motivator. Maybe stopping and remembering what she SHOULD have been doing (basically her writing her own list) will be all it took.

[Anonymous]

MB here, I would not do it. Our DD goes to preschool two days a week or 3 hours. I don't care what our nanny does frankly with that time. It is a 10 hour day; five days a week and our child is very active.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MB here, I would not do it. Our DD goes to preschool two days a week or 3 hours. I don't care what our nanny does frankly with that time. It is a 10 hour day; five days a week and our child is very active.

This.

OP you do not like this Hannah. You should probably find another.

In general, I am totally confused by people who are entirely willing to have a strained relationship with someone who cares for your children for many many hours per week. These are your children. Nannies and babysitters are not the same as someone who vacuums your house. They care for children!!! They are helping to raise your children. So I think you treat them differently and with more leeway than a housekeeper. First because caring for children is exhausting and some downtime during the day is reasonable. Second, I want the person who spends that much time with my kids to love it, them and me. Period. If the nanny is unhappy then it will show in the interactions with the kids. Actually it probably won't because nannies are professional and genuinely love kids despite their not-picking and frugal parents.

I am a parent of three who works in an industry where I have a lot of contact with nannies and working parents who use nannies. I have witnessed bad. A nies but boy do I see a lot of the attitudes throughout this thread in parents who treat nannies as no different than gardeners and maids. It's totally different because the people you love most hang in the balance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Our nanny has stepped up her game a bit and now I am seeing evidence that she is using the time at least somewhat productively. We'll see how long it lasts. She is still not particularly proactive, but for now I am willing to see how it goes over the next month or so. List plus clear reminders may be what we have to do for the time being. No energy to look for new nanny right now; maybe during summer, as our childcare needs will change a little bit then and will definitely change the following school year.

Fearing your job may be in jeopardy is a hell of a motivator. Maybe stopping and remembering what she SHOULD have been doing (basically her writing her own list) will be all it took.

Well, sounds like we may be looking for someone new anyway based on some additional info from my kids regarding her time on her phone, videos, and comments like "I can't wait to get out of here", "just be quiet", and eye rolls. Ultimately she is just immature. If you'd read her bio and talk to references you wouldn't think that was the case. But oh well. Guess it's time to search.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Our nanny has stepped up her game a bit and now I am seeing evidence that she is using the time at least somewhat productively. We'll see how long it lasts. She is still not particularly proactive, but for now I am willing to see how it goes over the next month or so. List plus clear reminders may be what we have to do for the time being. No energy to look for new nanny right now; maybe during summer, as our childcare needs will change a little bit then and will definitely change the following school year.

Fearing your job may be in jeopardy is a hell of a motivator. Maybe stopping and remembering what she SHOULD have been doing (basically her writing her own list) will be all it took.

Well, sounds like we may be looking for someone new anyway based on some additional info from my kids regarding her time on her phone, videos, and comments like "I can't wait to get out of here", "just be quiet", and eye rolls. Ultimately she is just immature. If you'd read her bio and talk to references you wouldn't think that was the case. But oh well. Guess it's time to search.

You sound like a pain in the ass. No wonder she can't wait to get away from you. Do her a favor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Our nanny has stepped up her game a bit and now I am seeing evidence that she is using the time at least somewhat productively. We'll see how long it lasts. She is still not particularly proactive, but for now I am willing to see how it goes over the next month or so. List plus clear reminders may be what we have to do for the time being. No energy to look for new nanny right now; maybe during summer, as our childcare needs will change a little bit then and will definitely change the following school year.

Fearing your job may be in jeopardy is a hell of a motivator. Maybe stopping and remembering what she SHOULD have been doing (basically her writing her own list) will be all it took.

Well, sounds like we may be looking for someone new anyway based on some additional info from my kids regarding her time on her phone, videos, and comments like "I can't wait to get out of here", "just be quiet", and eye rolls. Ultimately she is just immature. If you'd read her bio and talk to references you wouldn't think that was the case. But oh well. Guess it's time to search.

You sound like a pain in the ass. No wonder she can't wait to get away from you. Do her a favor.

Okay, PP. Nanny is perfectly justified in rolling her eyes as a mature expression of displeasure in her work. Noted.

[Anonymous]

She liked the easy schedule. You tightened the leash and now she's taking it out on your kids. She's also probably on her phone posting to DCUM about how nannies for billionaires should get paid in a % of capital gains. You can't get her out of there fast enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She liked the easy schedule. You tightened the leash and now she's taking it out on your kids. She's also probably on her phone posting to DCUM about how nannies for billionaires should get paid in a % of capital gains. You can't get her out of there fast enough.

Probably true, but this info is not from the last few days. It's older than that. But yes, agree she is unhappy. Time to deal with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She liked the easy schedule. You tightened the leash and now she's taking it out on your kids. She's also probably on her phone posting to DCUM about how nannies for billionaires should get paid in a % of capital gains. You can't get her out of there fast enough.

Probably true, but this info is not from the last few days. It's older than that. But yes, agree she is unhappy. Time to deal with it.

Why are you just hearing about it now? I would suggest a discussion with the kids, so that they know that this isn't acceptable. Yes, the nanny is the adult in charge, but they deserve to be treated with respect rather than apathy, and they need to know that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She liked the easy schedule. You tightened the leash and now she's taking it out on your kids. She's also probably on her phone posting to DCUM about how nannies for billionaires should get paid in a % of capital gains. You can't get her out of there fast enough.

Probably true, but this info is not from the last few days. It's older than that. But yes, agree she is unhappy. Time to deal with it.

Why are you just hearing about it now? I would suggest a discussion with the kids, so that they know that this isn't acceptable. Yes, the nanny is the adult in charge, but they deserve to be treated with respect rather than apathy, and they need to know that.

Heard about the phone issues from one of my kids last week, shortly after the other mentioned the videos she watches while nanny folds laundry, and then today rather unsolicited my oldest told me about the "I can't wait to get out of here", "just be quiet", eye rolling, etc. He also told me he can't wait until I come home most days (not said out of great affection for me, but apparently a lot of angst with her).

Writing this all out and actually seeing it on the page is making me recognize this just isn't good. Aside from not doing her job for part of her time here, she's also just not great with the kids and can be actively disrespectful to them. Ugh, I hate to go through a search for someone new, but my kids deserve better (and, in good news, I wouldn't be paying for idle hours any longer). I had been thinking a transition would be tough for the kids, but I think it's better than someone who is modeling the behavior I am now hearing a lot more about. Crap.

[Anonymous]

Good luck OP. You may feel urgency to find anyone better ASAP, but try to sort through enough nannies to find someone who will be a lasting good fit. I say this as someone who found 2 nannies, both under pressure. #2 is great with DC but chronically late (can't seem to understand she should plan for trafffic in this region) #1 was always punctual, but not good with DC (thought he was "independent" and didn't need much interaction from her when he was a whopping 1 year old). I'll take #2 over #1 any day, but wouldn't it be nice to have punctual and good with DC? My point is, good luck. It is stresful to find a nanny when you feel the current situation you have is not good.