Would you tell the parents here? (7M bedtime incident)

[Anonymous]

Hey all,

So I watch a 2.5F and 7M for four evenings a week - and *occasionally* on weekends. I've been with this family for just about a month and a half now. The kids themselves are super well behaved, we get along well, and never had any sort of problem with the family with payment etc.

Anyways, the 7 year old still wears pull-ups at night. No big deal to me, he's obviously able to put them on by himself, so all I really have to do is just make sure he remembers to put one on before bedtime.

Two nights ago, he was watching a RECORDED (so, it could have easily been paused) sports event on TV, while I was getting his sister set for bedtime. At some point, I noticed him squirming with the sort of 'gotta go' dance. I called out from across the room suggesting he pause and go to the bathroom, to which he said he will at the next pause in the game etc.

A while passed, and after (I think) two breaks, I'd noticed he still hadn't gotten up from the couch to go. So I said "Hey Eli (not his actual name) didn't you need to pause and go to the bathroom..?"

He looked kind confused for a moment, before he said "Oh, I just went in my pull up instead".

I just kind of facepalmed, but had the youngest down for bed already at that point - so told him to go wipe off and get a new pull-up on etc. He came back begging me not to tell his parents.

WWYD here? Just brush it off as a one time thing? I'm worried about betraying his trust, but...idk, this kind of caught me off guard, because he's not tiny anymore. This is a 7 year old we're talking about.

[Anonymous]

This is a kid I'd take to the bathroom every hour and if next time don't wait till the kid decides to go, tell him to go and enforce it by shutting off the video game. Parents don't care.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here. I wouldn't tell the parents if it's a one time thing and I wouldn't betray this kid's trust if he asked me not to tell.

[Anonymous]

This seems like such a minor thing. lol

Can’t believe it needs to be discussed anonymously. He’s 7.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This seems like such a minor thing. lol

Can’t believe it needs to be discussed anonymously. He’s 7.

…since when is it ‘normal’ for a 7 year old to be peeing in a pull-up while awake?

You couldn’t pay my son $100 to pee in a diaper while he’s awake - and he was a kid that wore pull-ups at night for an extended time.

[Anonymous]

I'd let it go and not tell the parents.

THey (kid and parents) will figure it out - no need for you to be involved.

[Anonymous]

I'd let it go and not mention it to the parents (unless they asked, I wouldn't lie!) but I would tell the kid that from now on, pull-up goes on right before bed. There's no more sitting around in a pull-up on your watch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd let it go and not mention it to the parents (unless they asked, I wouldn't lie!) but I would tell the kid that from now on, pull-up goes on right before bed. There's no more sitting around in a pull-up on your watch.

+1. No extended stays in a pull up.

[Anonymous]

Personally I think a seven-year old is much too old to be wearing a Pull-up (even just for bed.)

His parents are obviously dealing w/bedwetting incidents at this age but allowing Pull-ups at nighttime is not the correct way to deal w/this issue.

When the seven-year old had requested that you not tell his parents I may have responded back that since I worked for them - - that I had a duty to tell them, but on second thought I don’t think it is absolutely necessary that they be told.

I would probably not say anything to the parents about this incident though if it occurs again I may speak to his parents while also letting him know if he asks.

Even though I think his parents are enabling his bedwetting by allowing Pull-ups at bedtime > I would caution against offering them any unsolicited parenting advice if you really like your job aside from this.
Reason being is that there are some parents who may get offended by anyone discussing the way they choose to parent.

Whatever you do, I wish you all the best!

[Anonymous]

I don’t think you should be having secrets with your employers’ child. They should know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally I think a seven-year old is much too old to be wearing a Pull-up (even just for bed.)

His parents are obviously dealing w/bedwetting incidents at this age but allowing Pull-ups at nighttime is not the correct way to deal w/this issue.

When the seven-year old had requested that you not tell his parents I may have responded back that since I worked for them - - that I had a duty to tell them, but on second thought I don’t think it is absolutely necessary that they be told.

I would probably not say anything to the parents about this incident though if it occurs again I may speak to his parents while also letting him know if he asks.

Even though I think his parents are enabling his bedwetting by allowing Pull-ups at bedtime > I would caution against offering them any unsolicited parenting advice if you really like your job aside from this.
Reason being is that there are some parents who may get offended by anyone discussing the way they choose to parent.

Whatever you do, I wish you all the best!

I come from a long line of bedwetters, and wet the bed every night of my life until age 14. I did not want to wet the bet, nor does any child. It cannot be controlled. Using pull ups saves a huge amount of mess, time and work. I don't know if they didn't exist when I was growing up or if my parents couldn't afford them, but I never wore them, and consequently, I woke to soaked pajamas and sheet every morning. My mother changed them daily and always treated me with love and understanding. She knew I couldn't help it, and if I could stop, I would have.

Parents choosing to use pull ups don't "enable" bedwetting. A child cannot control what he does when he sleeps...it's not as if he "lets it go" when he's in a deep sleep because he's aware he's wearing a pull up. He is asleep and totally unaware.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally I think a seven-year old is much too old to be wearing a Pull-up (even just for bed.)

His parents are obviously dealing w/bedwetting incidents at this age but allowing Pull-ups at nighttime is not the correct way to deal w/this issue.

When the seven-year old had requested that you not tell his parents I may have responded back that since I worked for them - - that I had a duty to tell them, but on second thought I don’t think it is absolutely necessary that they be told.

I would probably not say anything to the parents about this incident though if it occurs again I may speak to his parents while also letting him know if he asks.

Even though I think his parents are enabling his bedwetting by allowing Pull-ups at bedtime > I would caution against offering them any unsolicited parenting advice if you really like your job aside from this.
Reason being is that there are some parents who may get offended by anyone discussing the way they choose to parent.

Whatever you do, I wish you all the best!

You are dead wrong.