I have been a nanny for my current family for four mos.
The mother has told me the child can have 30-45min of tv time a day so I usually will turn it on when I cook lunch and after lunch when I clean up and tend to the dishes. The father on the other hand has told me he prefers zero tv time while I am there but he hasn’t explicitly banned it. The issue? Okay the dad works from home 1-2 days per wk and lately when I have turned on the tv to entertain the 3 kids (5 and under!) while I hand wash the dishes, wipe the table/highchair and sweep the crumbs from the floor (so about 15 min of the tv being on), the tv screen will say the Internet connection is lost. This has only occurred on the days that the father is upstairs working in his office. And so the tv program that is on just shuts off and stays off for around 10-15min total. When I ask the dad about it he told me the tv shut off because it depends on the internet since everything on it is streaming. He claims he sometimes moves the router upstairs but if that is true would it take that long to turn the Internet back on? Even if he reprogrammed it?? The mother told me today that their internet never turns off and seems surprised that it does. It seems benign but I wonder if the dad is intentionally turning it off so I cannot use the tv while I’m there. Again it really isn’t even an issue in the big picture (no pun) but it bothers me on a principle level. Because I feel if the dad is comfortable lying to me about such a small thing like this then he likely is just as comfortable lying to me about other stuff as well. I am a very respectful employee who values honesty between an employer + employee. |
* the children |
I would check your cellphone, look under WiFi and see if it shows a connection. Try to have your DATA turned off when you do this. If the WiFi says not connected then it means there is no WiFi on in the entire home which would likely mean someone shut it off on purpose. {Unless it was an internet outage but that would only happen once or twice}.
I doubt anyone would be moving or re-programming the wireless router esp if they telecommute. I think the children’s father is being passive aggressive and you need to address this stat. GL. |
Yep, he is definitely doing it. So petty. They want you to be God and be able to clean and watch the kids at the same time . |
+1 I hate families that expect this. You are responsible for childcare-not housework. However cleaning up after your charges falls in line with childcare IMO. It seems when Dad is home, you are stripped of any autonomy that you deserve. You should be in total charge when you are working. Since your MB gave you permission to turn on the TV then her hubby has no right to manipulate it so that it doesn’t work. *Note~Most if not all homes have a SMART TV in their living rooms that only stream channels so yes, if the router is turned off or reset or whatever that will prevent any TV channels from streaming live. I think the Dad is trying to send you a subliminal message here by manually shutting off the internet connection. |
Nanny here.
Sorry but I won't be on your side. You're not respectful of his wishes. He told you he doesn't want the tv on when you're there ... so why do you do it ? You can do it when he's not working from home since the mom doesn't care so much ... I've always respected my bosses when I was a live-in or live-out nanny. Even if I didn't agree. I do the dishes when the children are napping and then I can have some time to myself to relax with a cup of coffee. |
Yes, the dad is disconnecting the wifi so you can't use the TV.
It's incredibly immature that he's doing it so passive aggressively, instead of having a frank discussion with you. However, in his mind: He told you he doesn't want you to use TV and you continue to do it. So he resorts to turning off the wifi. It doesn't matter if the mom is okay with it; one of the parents is saying no, so don't do it. Your post is strange though. You say the child can watch tv for 30-45 minutes a day, but also say you watch 3 kids under 5 years old. Why do you have to hand wash the dishes? Why can't you use a dishwasher? You say you only use the tv for 10-15 minutes, but then you say after it's been on it shuts off for 10-15 minutes... I feel like this is a bad troll. |
^^ Hi PP, no I am 100% not a troll, I am a real Nanny and this is a very real situation unfortunately. ![]() I DID write child in my original post, then edited *children afterward. I realized after posting that I did not correct autocorrect. I have to wash the dishes by hand because the family does not have a dishwasher. I only need 10-15 min of TV usually to clean up, max 20 min. When it has shut off the past few times, I had tried to get the TV to turn back on because the kids wanted to get to the end of their particular program which lasts about 18 min. |
The father mentioned here is totally in the wrong, just for the simple fact that he lied when he said he was doing something to the router. I would be peeved if my employer lied to me about anything even something as inconsequential as this. It is very clear that he is choosing to not be upfront and honest. He probably sees the Nannie as the hired help, not worthy of the truth.
If his wife is okay with screen time then the Nannie has permission to turn on the television set. |
PP from above here-So this gives OP’s dad boss the right to intentionally turn off the wi-fi?? Then to lie about it and deny he did it on purpose? I cannot believe a nanny would be ok with being lied to on the job. Respect needs to be imparted from an employer and outright lying is a clear sign of it being nonexistent in this case…… |
I hate when parents are not on the same page. It’s hilarious. One says yes to something and the other the polar opposite. Like which is it. Happened with two families I worked for. Glad I learned to speak up. If they don’t like it look for another family. It’s 15 mins not five hrs a day. |
Parents should never give their nanny conflicting instructions. It is actually very unfair to put a nanny in this position -> parents need to decide between themselves what they expect from their nanny beforehand.
Regarding the lying, I have zero tolerance for fibbing. Since the dad took matters into his own hands (I also believe that he intentionally shut off the WiFi, no one turns it off longer than a few seconds to reboot it and no one reprograms a router under normal circumstances!) as opposed to speaking to you directly, I would give them my notice. There are many families to work for out here that would respect a nanny and not choose to lie to her especially when she is caring for their most prized and beloved possession. |
+ 1 |
My husband works from home and laughed and said there is no such thing as rerouting or reprogramming a wireless internet router.
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^^i have never heard of this either. What does this even mean??????? The only thing people do to their routers is possibly move them to another location, such as to another room in the house. An WiFi outage is very unlikely, especially more than 1x. |