Want to do the right thing - time to separate
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Anonymous
| It is time to separate from our wonderful, long-term nanny. She started working with us many years ago full-time. Now she splits her time with us and another job. With our oldest in college, our second going to college, and our youngest old enough to not need a nanny, it's really time to say goodbye. We have been talking about this one and off with her for the last year, stating that the time would be soon. We have kept her longer than we needed her help, largely as we were concerned that it would be hard for her to find a job as flexible as the hours that we provided. But, our needs now are different (and I'd like to put the money toward college expenses). Do we give a "good bye" bonus? How much notice? Thoughts? |
Anonymous
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I would give her a month notice at least if she’s been with you for years.
And yes a bonus would be nice, not required but nice. |
Anonymous
| Imagine working for a family. Raising their kids, loving the kids like they are your own for years. Just for the family to go to online forum to ask how much they should appreciate you now that they no longer need you. Jfc y'all are something else. |
Anonymous
| After all these years I'd organize something with her and her family : either a lunch or cake at your place, give her flowers, a note/picture from the kids and a bonus. |
Anonymous
| I’d give her at the very least a month. And of course a bonus. We gave our nanny of a year and half a week and a half’s pay as a bonus. |
Anonymous
Yeah, you wouldn't have lasted a day in our house, and your comment reminds me why I avoid DCUM. I appreciate the nice comments here. This will not be a surprise to our nanny, and I want to make sure that we are not shortchanging her, so was hoping to get some sort of a benchmark. E.g., severance at my office is one week per every two years of service. Trying to get a sense of whether there is a norm. Or whether it's typical to keep on a nanny until she finds something else. Etc. We aren't going to leave her high and dry... |
Anonymous
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OP, you're being incredibly thoughtful.
Some nannies on here have said that they receive a week for ever year. That has never been my experience, but YMMV. In my eyes: you've been discussing it with her for more than a year. While it's admirable you're concerned for her finding another job, it's ultimately up to her. She's an adult and it's her responsibility to find a job that works with her schedule. Good luck! |
Anonymous
This sounds perfect. By the way OP, you seem like an excellent employer…..your nanny is also lucky to have worked for a family as generous + loyal such as yours.  
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Anonymous
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When we finally cut the cord we had given our nanny almost 6 months of notice (after discussing it for more than a year). We also were very clear that once we actually set a date, if she found another position that meant she needed to leave us sooner that would be fine.
I helped her look for another position, actively posted on her behalf, obviously was a wonderful reference, etc... We gave her the equivalent of about a month's pay as a parting gift. And because the position she went to had hours that allowed it, we actually had her come one morning a week for a couple of hours, just to get the kids off to school. That was mostly about softening the transition, but we did that for almost a year! The most important things are good communication, ample notice, and stellar recommendations - which clearly you're providing OP. |
Anonymous
| PP here - meant to include that she had been with us for 7 years. |
Anonymous
| I know this definitely isn’t normal but I was a nanny for two preschool aged twins two years. They had ok move to uk for dads work. They paid me weekly for a whole year ! We are still in contact today. Again I know it’s not the norm but I was blessed. Can you afford you afford to psy her 7 months deference since she was with you so long and is wonderful ? Good luck to you sll snd wish her the bestv |
Anonymous
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This is an old thread. But it’s most important for parents to give your child’s beloved nanny a beautiful, heartfelt reference letter. An excellent, dedicated nanny deserves that.
Every so often, I open my file of reference letters. I remember so many tiny details about each child, and dearly loved every one of them. I will always feel humbled to have been entrusted with the essential work of providing the highest level of care that I could. The mother that I remember most fondly, was the one who at the end of every day greeted me with enthusiasm and curiosity. She attentively listened the highlights of our adventures. She was exceptionally appreciative of my dedication to her child’s wellbeing, and never missed a day expressing it. |
Anonymous
7 months to a year of pay is absurd. Nanny has to know her time is coming to an end with older kids. You give her 2-4 weeks notice, help her find another job then a few weeks bonus. |
Anonymous
You are absurd to be so critical of parents who can so generously express their appreciation. Many parents who hire subpar care, get to pay up down the road to their child’s therapist. Beware. |