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Anonymous
We are considering an au pair for our 2 kids (21 month old starting part-time school in September) and 4 year old in school 5 half days. Where do we even begin? What are the main things to consider and the best agencies to work with? We currently have a nanny but want someone who drives and also costs us less money. thank you!
Anonymous
The au pair is supposed to live with you like a family member. Are you interested in having an additional family member right now?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:The au pair is supposed to live with you like a family member. Are you interested in having an additional family member right now?


This. In addition to screening for child care qualifications and driving abilities, you also have to carefully screen for compatibility as house mates. Having a young person living with you 24/7 really changes your family dynamic.

All of our au pairs have been good with the kids (we started when they were 3 and older). Some were nervous drivers, but with driving school and practice all ended up doing a decent amount of driving without issue. But our hosting experience varied widely depending on the personalities of each. One was very moody and needed a lot of hand holding. That was very draining for me. Another one really liked our family and spent most of her free time hanging out with us. It was very sweet at first, but got to a point where it became suffocating because we hardly ever had any privacy while we hosted her. The best ones are those who are independent and social but not the partying type. They have their own friend networks and do their own thing, and tell you enthusiastically about their new experiences. It's deeply satisfying watching them grow and enjoy their time here.
Anonymous
It’s not always less money fyi. It does offer more flexible hours than a nanny though.
If you want a driver get someone with lots of driving experience, at least 3 years imo.
Anonymous
An au pair is not cheaper. For us, it is more flexible, which is why we prefer this arrangement. In addition to the agency fees and weekly stipend (which is a minimum requirement, we pay more), you are responsible for:

- cell service
- groceries for a full grown adult
- car insurance if AP is driving
- transportation to/from monthly cluster meetings with LCC
- transportation to/from airport when she arrives and departs
- education costs up to $500 each year
- transportation to/from education classes


Those are the minimums. But as a GOOD host family, we also:
- order her take out when we as a family are eating take out
- invite her out to eat with us when we are out as a family
- invite her to accompany us on some family vacations, where we cover flight, extra room, all food, etc.
- birthday and holiday gifts


All of this adds up because you're supporting a fully grown adult in your home. So on top of making sure you are okay with sharing your home and your family life with someone, please make sure your expectations are aligned with what it takes to be a good host family.
Anonymous
Ha! We had 3 au pairs. All in the DMV also expect a car that they can use whenever they want.

Anonymous wrote:An au pair is not cheaper. For us, it is more flexible, which is why we prefer this arrangement. In addition to the agency fees and weekly stipend (which is a minimum requirement, we pay more), you are responsible for:

- cell service
- groceries for a full grown adult
- car insurance if AP is driving
- transportation to/from monthly cluster meetings with LCC
- transportation to/from airport when she arrives and departs
- education costs up to $500 each year
- transportation to/from education classes


Those are the minimums. But as a GOOD host family, we also:
- order her take out when we as a family are eating take out
- invite her out to eat with us when we are out as a family
- invite her to accompany us on some family vacations, where we cover flight, extra room, all food, etc.
- birthday and holiday gifts


All of this adds up because you're supporting a fully grown adult in your home. So on top of making sure you are okay with sharing your home and your family life with someone, please make sure your expectations are aligned with what it takes to be a good host family.
Anonymous
Yes to emphasis on having another family member. Just like having kids, it’s extremely gratifying when it works but can be extremely taxing as well. It seems like a lot of families go this route because it’s cheaper and more flexible than a nanny but don’t fully think through what it will be like to have another young adult living with you. We have loved the program overall but very much entered in with the understanding of our responsibilities as not just bosses, but host mom and dad. Clearly communicated expectations are a must!
Anonymous
FWIW we live in dc metro area, walkable to metro and bus, and have never given our au pairs a car. We have one car in the family that’s shared among three adults and it has worked out just fine.
Anonymous
I will never understand families bringing in Au Pairs. One word describes it best - weird, weird, weird. Having a young female inexperienced person (they count their "experience" with kids by "hours" and the experience is often just made up) living under the same roof. Just weird.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I will never understand families bringing in Au Pairs. One word describes it best - weird, weird, weird. Having a young female inexperienced person (they count their "experience" with kids by "hours" and the experience is often just made up) living under the same roof. Just weird.


What are you doing on this board?!? I don’t disagree with you but it sounds like you don’t have an AP, have not had one and will never have one. So why be on this discussion board?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I will never understand families bringing in Au Pairs. One word describes it best - weird, weird, weird. Having a young female inexperienced person (they count their "experience" with kids by "hours" and the experience is often just made up) living under the same roof. Just weird.

You don’t understand needing childcare that might be odd hours that Nannie’s don’t want? And having space in your house to have someone stay with you? And wanting your kids to learn about other cultures?
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