Pregnant nanny wants to quit earlier than agreed upon

[Anonymous]

We’ve had our nanny for about 18 months. She’s been great up until recently. She’s 35 weeks pregnant and wants to only work two more weeks for us. We originally agreed she’d stay until she was to give birth. Most first pregnancies go past 40 weeks so we were counting on her being with us through March. She states the last minute change is because she’s not sleeping well and is in pain. I call bluff. I carried my twins till 39 weeks and worked a much more strenuous job until my induction. I think she’s upset we decided to part ways and not have her return with baby.

We’re still debating on whether we are ok with this or not. We’re thinking of instead cutting her hours at her 37 week mark to only part-time? Of course if she goes into labor sooner we can’t really control when she’s gone but it would be ideal to keep her until at least the 1st of a April.

[Anonymous]

As a nanny employer, I would’ve been super uncomfortable planning on my nanny making it to 40 weeks without a backup plan! Women go into labor early allll the time. They also go over their due dates often. The fact that you delivered at 39 weeks has zero relevance here.

It sounds like you’re not offering maternity leave or anything, so… what was your plan when she delivered? Daycare? A new nanny? Just move that plan up to accommodate her last day.

[Anonymous]

I am completely confused.

Are you female, and a mother, and really arguing that you know better than another woman what works for her body and her family than she does?

You do know that in this country you can't force people to work, right? The US ended that practice after the civil war.

[Anonymous]

I am really annoyed that this is really how your mind works as a grown women. Every pregnancy is different. What you can withstand others can't. Not sure your reasoning's behind her not coming back but if it was by your choice you're doing her a favor. She deserves better.

[Anonymous]

You’re a selfish human; each woman is different right? So are pregnancies -stop bitching and complains and be a mother yourself!! Glad she’s leaving you, what an ignorant being you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’ve had our nanny for about 18 months. She’s been great up until recently. She’s 35 weeks pregnant and wants to only work two more weeks for us. We originally agreed she’d stay until she was to give birth. Most first pregnancies go past 40 weeks so we were counting on her being with us through March. She states the last minute change is because she’s not sleeping well and is in pain. I call bluff. I carried my twins till 39 weeks and worked a much more strenuous job until my induction. I think she’s upset we decided to part ways and not have her return with baby.

We’re still debating on whether we are ok with this or not. We’re thinking of instead cutting her hours at her 37 week mark to only part-time? Of course if she goes into labor sooner we can’t really control when she’s gone but it would be ideal to keep her until at least the 1st of a April.

-whether “we are ok with this or not” this isn’t about you, it’s about your nanny’s pregnancy and whatever you think, is irrelevant, she’d do what’s BEST FOR HERSELF. Hope she cuts you lose tomorrow, you sound like a terrible employer.

[Anonymous]

As women get closer to giving birth it isn’t unusual for them to experience various issues.

I think expecting her to work up until 40 wks is unreasonable.

You should’ve better prepared.
Plus the fact that you carried twins almost to term while working a strenuous job has absolutely nothing to do w/this situation.

[Anonymous]

You sound horrible. I hope she quits and. Ever works for you again

[Anonymous]

Oof. I don't need to pile on the commentary since you got a lot of feedback already, but here are some facts to consider. While there is a difference in average duration of a 1st versus subsequent pregnancy, it's only about 2 days. Furthermore, 1st pregnancy duration distribution is more spread out, meaning they are both more likely to be past 40 weeks AND more likely to be before 37 weeks.

Secondly, your nanny probably had an optimistic first-time mom view of pregnancy and assumed she could work until birth. But the last 1-2 months, the fetus grows really fast in terms of sheer bulk, close to half a pound a week. She likely didn't know how uncomfortable it would get.

It's great for you that you carried twins to 39 weeks. However, many twin pregnancies get induced at 38 weeks, so you're not necessarily the typical case. Just as one employee being healthy enough to work 80-hour-weeks does not negate the existence or validity of another employee being sick and needing to take medical leave.

[Anonymous]

Uh, this isn't up to you. If she's ending early then she's ending early.

My first spontaneously came at 35+1. I was nannying at the time and we were planning on ending at 37 weeks, but I didn't make it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Uh, this isn't up to you. If she's ending early then she's ending early.

This.

You need to figure this out OP - this is on you, not a 35 week pregnant woman who is uncomfortable and giving you two weeks notice. If you don't already have a backup plan in place for the incredibly common event of her having gone into labor early, then you're foolish.

And the 39 week twin mom brag is offensive. (I'm a twin mom also, who carried to term. BFD - I couldn't have comfortably or effectively nannied for someone else in my last 5 weeks of pregnancy. And I would never count on a nanny being able to do their job comfortably in their last month.)

[Anonymous]

I gave birth twice. Once was a super simple pregnancy and delivery - I could have done a triathlon at 39 weeks no problem, and just looked like I'd swallowed a basketball. The other pregnancy came with tons of complications, bed rest for five months, tons of extra weight gain, and a horrific delivery involving people slipping on my blood on the floor.

But sure - tell me again about how since you had one type of pregnancy everyone else should have the same exact experience as you.

[Anonymous]

I agree with all the people that everyone’s pregnancy is different, but that’s also completely irrelevant. You fired an employee, a good employee, for being female and getting pregnant. Now you are upset that they gave you the courtesy of 2 weeks notice, which is all she would have owed you if you were a halfway decent employer, and 2 weeks more than she owes someone willing to discriminate against her.

When you worked up till delivery, was it at an employer who was giving you leave and health insurance and holding a job for you?

[Anonymous]

The perfect window into the casual cruelty of the United States.

[Anonymous]

The fact that this post is still up shows how bananas this platform has become. Lady the fact the only person you’re thinking about is yourself. Pregnancy is different for every woman you are not only selfish af you’re a horrible employer who doesn’t care about your nanny’s well being at all.