Extremey resentful of spouse who wont consider professional childcare

[Anonymous]

I am a working professional and my wife is a stay at home spouse. We are first time parents with a daughter that will be 2 soon.

My wife has become increasingly irritated and annoyed of taking care of our daughter and I think we need professional child care so she can get some hours to herself to decompress and run errands. Ive always wanted to get professional childcare but my spouse is incredibly OCD with control issues and her only choices are to do it herself or have me do it when I get home from a demanding job all day. My daughter is not special needs but just a normal kid that's exhibiting more terrible two behavior (e.g refuses to eat, like to say no to everything, etc).

I think we are at a breaking point and I need to research and present options to my spouse and tips for finding the appropriate person. I think our demands are pretty low which would be looking at our daughter for a few hrs for a few days and taking her to the local play gym which is within walking distance from our house. It would be great if this person would do some light housework such as unloading the dishwasher or folding the laundry when my kid takes a nap but not essential requirement. We tried a local young woman who we randomly met on walk who claimed she was a childcare person but

Is there some efficient way and references I can get to make this search more painless. Im not sure I want to wade through a bunch of candidates from a Facebook post and scrutinize their backgrounds and references. Ive been to the Care.com website but there seems to be alot of disparaging remarks about it on this forum. Where can i found the local listerv for Potomac/Bethesda or any other local sites?

[Anonymous]

Are there any preschools near you with 2s classes that might have openings in Sept?

If you want someone at your house maybe see if any nanny’s with school age kids want a few extra hours during the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a working professional and my wife is a stay at home spouse. We are first time parents with a daughter that will be 2 soon.

My wife has become increasingly irritated and annoyed of taking care of our daughter and I think we need professional child care so she can get some hours to herself to decompress and run errands. Ive always wanted to get professional childcare but my spouse is incredibly OCD with control issues and her only choices are to do it herself or have me do it when I get home from a demanding job all day. My daughter is not special needs but just a normal kid that's exhibiting more terrible two behavior (e.g refuses to eat, like to say no to everything, etc).

I think we are at a breaking point and I need to research and present options to my spouse and tips for finding the appropriate person. I think our demands are pretty low which would be looking at our daughter for a few hrs for a few days and taking her to the local play gym which is within walking distance from our house. It would be great if this person would do some light housework such as unloading the dishwasher or folding the laundry when my kid takes a nap but not essential requirement. We tried a local young woman who we randomly met on walk who claimed she was a childcare person but

Is there some efficient way and references I can get to make this search more painless. Im not sure I want to wade through a bunch of candidates from a Facebook post and scrutinize their backgrounds and references. Ive been to the Care.com website but there seems to be alot of disparaging remarks about it on this forum. Where can i found the local listerv for Potomac/Bethesda or any other local sites?

google: bethesda listserv

[Anonymous]

Sorry. I cant feel bad for your wife. I’m a widowed male m with a young daughter i work full time go to school online classes and no family or professionally help. She just needs to stop being lazy and hardheaded. My god you don’t need full time nanny but if it helps find a babysitter so she can run an errand or get hair done. If she won’t dintbplsybinti her pity party. She should be glad you can afford to get someone to her her hair f even just on occasion

[Anonymous]

I mean don’t play onto her pity party or woe is me. There are plenty of responsible women who can give her a break on occasion. She’s just a whiney stuck up woman. Sorry but not sorry. I feel bad for you. Sorry but not sorry !

[Anonymous]

Preschools have 9-12 options or try posting on here. A lot of great nannies on this forum

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a working professional and my wife is a stay at home spouse. We are first time parents with a daughter that will be 2 soon.

My wife has become increasingly irritated and annoyed of taking care of our daughter and I think we need professional child care so she can get some hours to herself to decompress and run errands. Ive always wanted to get professional childcare but my spouse is incredibly OCD with control issues and her only choices are to do it herself or have me do it when I get home from a demanding job all day. My daughter is not special needs but just a normal kid that's exhibiting more terrible two behavior (e.g refuses to eat, like to say no to everything, etc).

I think we are at a breaking point and I need to research and present options to my spouse and tips for finding the appropriate person. I think our demands are pretty low which would be looking at our daughter for a few hrs for a few days and taking her to the local play gym which is within walking distance from our house. It would be great if this person would do some light housework such as unloading the dishwasher or folding the laundry when my kid takes a nap but not essential requirement. We tried a local young woman who we randomly met on walk who claimed she was a childcare person but

Is there some efficient way and references I can get to make this search more painless. Im not sure I want to wade through a bunch of candidates from a Facebook post and scrutinize their backgrounds and references. Ive been to the Care.com website but there seems to be alot of disparaging remarks about it on this forum. Where can i found the local listerv for Potomac/Bethesda or any other local sites?

A SAHM means they stay home to take care of the kids. Hire a nanny and let her get a job to pay for the nanny.
Otherwise, she can start doing hers job of taking care of child. I have no patience for laziness.

[Anonymous]

This post can not be real. It's got to be a troll. No caring father or loving husband would phrase this issue like this. If a dad or husband really comes and disrespect their spouse and the mother of their child to strangers in this manner, for sure he's the problem himself. This sounds like a troll. There is not an ounce of care for your wife in this text, or concern. On purpose you worded it to make her sound selfish and a bad mom.

Maybe you should look internally to see why she feels under appreciated and burned out? The solution is not only childcare help, but a loving supporting partner.

[Anonymous]

Find a daycare. Too young for preschool

[Anonymous]

Go to therapy and learn to be a good father.

She's not "Irritated & Annoyed", it sounds like she's exhausted and burned out for having to do it all alone and having a man-baby as a husband.

Your words "or have me do it when I get home from a demanding job all day" speaks volumes. So you don't want to parent when you get home because you have a demanding job? She has to "have you do it"?? Cause she's the only parent and you occasionally HELP her?

What does a 2 year old need? Play, bath time, brush teeth, read a book, bed time, feeding. You expect her to do all of that at night too? She has a routine and want the child in bed by a certain time and you call her OCD? And when she expects you to pull your weight phrase it as "she is having you do it"?

Sorry to break it to you but her job of taking care of a child during those 8-10 hours is more demanding than anything you could have done in silence with breaks. When you get home, her job as the stay at home mom is done!!! Now it's time for both parents to spend time with the child. It would specifically be more beneficial if yo do more of the childcare when you get home as your child doesn't see you all day, and allow her to make dinner or take a shower or reply to emails.

You seem to be the only problem here and you need to make a change. Daycare will not solve anything if you still want to get home in the evening and be lazy and expect her to do all the parenting. You need to STEP UP and be a father to your child!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Find a daycare. Too young for preschool

preschool starts anytime between 18 months and 3

[Anonymous]

Find a part time preschool. Your wife is just going to drive a nanny crazy micromanaging and generally being difficult. And perhaps it will be easier to convince her to do a preschool given all of the research around its benefits

[Anonymous]

You guys are saying the wrong things let’s be real you just said your wife has control issues and she’s extremely ocd. Do you know how often you’ll be changing a nanny?? No one will be a good fit for her and if you’re her husband and you’re miserable why would you want to put another human through that?? Be real.