Long term nanny quandary

[Anonymous]

We have had the same nanny for more than 15 years. She now only works for us part-time year round (about 16 hours a week). We pay a salary, not hourly, plus health insurance stipend and gas/ wear and tear (at the govt listed per mile rate). We adore her and feel a loyalty to her but the challenge is that she always has something come up. She has been getting the flu, her child will be sick, routine dr appt, you name it. Since school started in September, I don’t think she has worked a full week. My job is somewhat flexible but when looking at my year productivity at year end, if I’m being honest, her repeated and unpredictable absences had an impact on my own job performance. My issue is simple: I need someone who is reliable. My oldest will be driving soon. I feel guilty because while I think she’d easily find another job, I can’t see her being able to keep it. We’ve been super accommodating because we adore her, but I feel like I’m simply donating money to her at this point and, as I said, it’s affecting my job. What do I do? Do I offer to keep her but only hourly? That doesn’t help with my reliability issues but it would help with money. Do I tell her she needs to find another job at the end of the school year, knowing she probably couldn’t hold it down? To complicate matters, my DH and I both have ill parents so often one of us is solo and we are likely going to have to hire a second person to help out if we don’t make a change. Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Initiate a sit down performance review, cite your struggles with attendance and the subsequent effects it's having on your own job then clearly say that you need improvement and would love for this to work out. Set a meeting to reevaluate in 4 weeks or whatever timeline.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she thinks that her attendance is optional? Like it’s no big deal if she cancels on you. If so, maybe you can sit her down, talk about how it is actually impacting your work, and see if you can recalibrate her.

[Anonymous]

Just give a payment and cut your losses

[Anonymous]

You need to fire her and hire someone more reliable. She is completely taking advantage of your long history and your easy-going nature.

[Anonymous]

I agree on replacing her; it is time.

[Anonymous]

How old are your kids? Will you need the nanny for the younger kids or will the older one drive them to school and activities? For me, it’s the driving to after school sports, activities, managing homework, and making dinner that I need my nanny for the most. We are keeping her on even though we pay her for more hours than we use. You could replace her, but the next person could also be unreliable, and after 15 years you won’t have the same kind of trust in someone new. I think after all these years of loyalty, she deserves a very serious sit down conversation, before moving on. Not everyone can keep their nanny for that long, so she’s earned a chance to improve.

[Anonymous]

What does she do when not working for you?

[Anonymous]

OP here. She has a non-nanny job in the morning. Right now, even on the days that she is here, we are usually still picking up one kid because the logistics don’t work for her to get both of them. So when our older one drives, we’ll continue to pick up the younger one. Or the nanny would do so. As one of the other poster’s said, at this point, she largely is driving and making dinner. Sadly our kids are in activities where carpool is not possible.

We’re going to have a discussion with her and be clear about expectations. I am sympathetic given the long job performance but it’s killing my work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Initiate a sit down performance review, cite your struggles with attendance and the subsequent effects it's having on your own job then clearly say that you need improvement and would love for this to work out. Set a meeting to reevaluate in 4 weeks or whatever timeline.

+1