What would you do in this nanny situation? Keep or look for someone new?

[Anonymous]

We’ve had the same nanny for 3 years and while I have 0 complaints with how she cares for my kids, there are a few things I’ve overlooked because she’s been great with her childcare. She’s been chronically late, yes I should have addressed it but it wasn’t a huge deal so I didn’t. The past few months she’s both late and asking to leave early for a variety of reasons. These are usually last minute requests which we have accommodated. She’s paid $29 an hour for 2 kids, which I think is in line with nanny rates in the DMV. In addition to this, she does overnight nanny care for some families on a rotating basis, so she’s frequently asking us to accommodate her other side nanny jobs, adjusting hours etc. I think she recently got a recurring job which requires she leaves my home by 3:30 to be on time for her other nanny job. This simply won’t work for us, to be frank we need 9-5 but have worked with her due to her level of care and the fact that the kids are very attached to her. Recently she’s been making comments about my daughter being clingy, which I know she is, but I stay out of the communal play area only coming up to eat lunch that’s it. Other wise I stay out of the way and remain unseen. She also got upset when I gave my daughter a ball she was whining for and didn’t “enforce” the Nannys rules about the toy. I get that’s maybe not what the nanny wanted, but my daughter was sick and upset so I gave in. This doesn’t happen every day, I normally almost always defer to what the nanny says in terms of the rules. After that she had an outburst saying she would not be here the next day due to an appointment (which I had already been made aware of and agreed) to and that she needed more time off and was going to need to change her hours because of her other job yet again). I’m trying to determine whether she truly wants to keep working here or if this was a one off. We need a nanny for another year and plan to do preschool then. I’ve already planned to let her know her proposed schedule won’t work for us, so we can’t accommodate that, but seriously wondering if we need to start looking for a new nanny based on her recent behavior.

[Anonymous]

Start looking for a new nanny. The way she works it's not professional at all, as a nanny myself. I can't picture, myself to be asking to leave early most of the time and also be late often. Mainly the fact that I would be putting my primary Job over the second one.

Good look in your search.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Start looking for a new nanny. The way she works it's not professional at all, as a nanny myself. I can't picture, myself to be asking to leave early most of the time and also be late often. Mainly the fact that I would be putting my primary Job over the second one.

Good look in your search.

Same poster above. I meant, I would never put my second/extra nanny job/gigs over my Primary Job; which it would be with your family. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Talk to her and tell her that her coming late and leaving early is causing issues with your job. You do work at home but during work hours, you are expected to be working, which is why you have a nanny. Let her know that she needs to take leave or leave without pay if she's late or leaving early (you should not pay her if she's doing this regularly) and if she prefers to take on other jobs, that you'd appreciate 30 day notice so you can find another child care arrangement.

[Anonymous]

I would highly recommend that you start looking for a brand-new Nanny for your two children.

Seems this business relationship has merely run its course.

You two are no longer a suitable fit.

Her being late as well as taking time off is very rude of your Nanny.

Plus you should not be accommodating to her other jobs.

[Anonymous]

Wow she’s ballsy.
I used to have side gigs too when I was a Nanny bit my Nanny family always came first. I never would have asked to leave early to go work somewhere else. Having said that, both my bosses worked out of the home. Are you in the house? That might be why she thinks she can ask.
Try making yourself scarce in the afternoons and come home at 5.

[Anonymous]

Leaving early is so disrespectful.

This relationship has run its course. Find a new nanny and set clear boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Have a talk about needing 9-5, but also start looking. $29 is a very good rate, so you'll get someone else if she bails.

I've had someone who also worked overnights elsewhere and she was permanently too tired during daytime. I felt cheated because we provided the rate she asked, net, on payroll and standard package of vacation/sick days. It simply didn't workout for us, although I liked her a lot as a person, she was very sweet and respectful, but I felt we're not getting 100% of her attention during the hours she is with us.

[Anonymous]

You need to move on and hire someone new.

Reliability is one of the main qualifications of a nanny. If she's often late and not reliable, that by itself is grounds to move on. It means she doesn't prioritize her job.

And I agree a nanny that does overnight elsewhere is not a good candidate for full time work during the day. They will always be over tired. It's like her having two full time jobs. Remember how tired you were with a new born.

At $29 you will easily find a qualified experienced replacement.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here.

I would move on. I know the relationship with the kids matters a lot but she is clearly no longer happy with your family which means she is phoning it in. A new nanny who is excited to get to know your kids will soon love them too and also be easier to work with overall. My guess is that she is making a lot more per hour doing part time and overnights and is therefore feeling underpaid. In reality PT and overnight work is usually paid more per hour than normal FT work but she clearly has an entitlement mindset when it comes to your family. And IME once one party feels they are being taken advantage of it is very hard to come back from that.