Give notice or keep trying with new nanny?

[Anonymous]

We have a nanny/house manager who has been with us for 2 months. She is pretty good with the kids, but not proactive about planning anything for them or around the house.

I gave her a list of things that needs to be done daily, weekly, and monthly (while the kids are in school). And I go over the schedule for our family with her every Monday. But if I don’t give her a set list of things to do each day she ends up just puttering around the house. There is plenty to do, she just doesn’t seem to “see” it. She mentioned the first week that her last MB micromanaged her, and now I’m beginning to think that she needs that kind of daily direction. As an example, one of my kids left their soccer ball in the front hall. On her daily list is to tidy the front hall. The soccer ball sat there for 10 days until
I finally put it away. But it’s lots of little things like this that I am not sure how to correct without feeling like I am constantly correcting her. Last night she forgot to turn on the dishwasher and wipe the table before she left - and she left 10 minutes early (which would have been fine if she had done everything).

Is 2 months too soon to assume this isn’t going to work out? She is nice and just does the thing I ask when I mention it, but I’m starting to get irritated that there is always something to mention. And that I end up doing that thing if I don’t mention it.

[Anonymous]

Yes you should give notice and look for someone else. Also your child should be able to put his or her own soccer ball where it belongs an adult shouldn’t have to clean after them

[Anonymous]

I'd give her a big talk and tell her that for the next two weeks you'd really like her to try to take initiative, and bring up the soccer ball and dishwasher as examples. Tell her you are not a micro-manager so you want her to take the lead in tidying and keeping things organized.

See if she gets better.

[Anonymous]

I’d speak to her and give her a chance to correct it . If not then look elsewhere

[Anonymous]

Sit her down for a review and clearly lay out that you need her to be more proactive or her job is in jeopardy. Tell her that you do not want to micromanage and need her to scan every room, every day for things that are out of place, disorganize, or can be helpful to work on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd give her a big talk and tell her that for the next two weeks you'd really like her to try to take initiative, and bring up the soccer ball and dishwasher as examples. Tell her you are not a micro-manager so you want her to take the lead in tidying and keeping things organized.

See if she gets better.

Excellent advice.

But if she still doesn’t change, you should let her go immediately.
You likely would not want her watching your children if she is terminated so you may have to let her go if the next two wks do not work out.

Do you have back-up childcare if this happens?

[Anonymous]

She’s not detail-oriented. That cannot be taught. Find someone who is a self-starter and knows what needs to be done without repeated reminders.

[Anonymous]

Just make one big executive list including things that can be done anytime she has free time such as:
-taking the car to the car wash
-cleaning out fridge
-checking household supplies for restocking
-going through and donating old toys
-going through and donating small clothes
-checking if kids have clothes for next season (boots, hats, snow pants, swim suit, sun hats, whatever) and ordering if not
-checking school calendar for anything upcoming like purple day or halloween party and making sure you have the supplies

If you just make an exhaustive list for her to refer to at anytime, that should solve your problem. It's hard to step into a new family and house and know exactly how they like things. I've worked for families that did not want me to pick out the kids coats and boots for example because the mom was that much of a micromanager and then other families and are like we don't care do it all! Some moms like to handle all the meal prep, some families are very picky, others are easy and happy for any food. It takes a bit to learn the nuances of the family and home. I was with my last family for 8.5. years and when I switched to my current family they were SO different in the flow of their household that it took me. along while to adjust but all is well now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a nanny/house manager who has been with us for 2 months. She is pretty good with the kids, but not proactive about planning anything for them or around the house.

I gave her a list of things that needs to be done daily, weekly, and monthly (while the kids are in school). And I go over the schedule for our family with her every Monday. But if I don’t give her a set list of things to do each day she ends up just puttering around the house. There is plenty to do, she just doesn’t seem to “see” it. She mentioned the first week that her last MB micromanaged her, and now I’m beginning to think that she needs that kind of daily direction. As an example, one of my kids left their soccer ball in the front hall. On her daily list is to tidy the front hall. The soccer ball sat there for 10 days until
I finally put it away. But it’s lots of little things like this that I am not sure how to correct without feeling like I am constantly correcting her. Last night she forgot to turn on the dishwasher and wipe the table before she left - and she left 10 minutes early (which would have been fine if she had done everything).

Is 2 months too soon to assume this isn’t going to work out? She is nice and just does the thing I ask when I mention it, but I’m starting to get irritated that there is always something to mention. And that I end up doing that thing if I don’t mention it.

Your kids need to put away their soccer ball. This is a parenting issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a nanny/house manager who has been with us for 2 months. She is pretty good with the kids, but not proactive about planning anything for them or around the house.

I gave her a list of things that needs to be done daily, weekly, and monthly (while the kids are in school). And I go over the schedule for our family with her every Monday. But if I don’t give her a set list of things to do each day she ends up just puttering around the house. There is plenty to do, she just doesn’t seem to “see” it. She mentioned the first week that her last MB micromanaged her, and now I’m beginning to think that she needs that kind of daily direction. As an example, one of my kids left their soccer ball in the front hall. On her daily list is to tidy the front hall. The soccer ball sat there for 10 days until
I finally put it away. But it’s lots of little things like this that I am not sure how to correct without feeling like I am constantly correcting her. Last night she forgot to turn on the dishwasher and wipe the table before she left - and she left 10 minutes early (which would have been fine if she had done everything).

Is 2 months too soon to assume this isn’t going to work out? She is nice and just does the thing I ask when I mention it, but I’m starting to get irritated that there is always something to mention. And that I end up doing that thing if I don’t mention it.

Your kids need to put away their soccer ball. This is a parenting issue.

Meh. If a kid makes a mess while the nanny is with them and the nanny waits for the parents to clean up, thats definitely a nanny issue.

[Anonymous]

Well many nannies don't appreciate doing housework so depends what is spelled out in your work agreement

[Anonymous]

Paid as a nanny? Or a nanny house manager?