What are your Nanny experiences with controlling mothers?

[Anonymous]

Just curious to see how you guys deal with controlling mothers.... I’m at the end of my rope..
I started this job during the Pandemic, the kid was a little over 1. We stayed home all the time and parents were busy.
Mom has always been working from home a lot...
But now that the boy is older, I noticed how she’s changing. Sue controls every little thing, and I can’t do anything I would like with the kid. For example, she sets most of the schedule, which includes time just playing at home. I don’t do any play dates, unless she schedules one, which is like once a month if we’re lucky. I can’t just take him to places when I want to, always have to abide by her schedule. I’m not used to such jobs. Like if I wanted to go to the library Story time and Playground at 10, sometimes she’ll say just do the library, or go at 9 instead. She doesn’t buy any food, besides sandwiches, which how van we eat sandwiches everyday for lunch. I offered her a million times to buy some veggies and meat and I’ll cook, she just won’t let me and says oh I don’t feel like meatloaf today, oh you have to Wait till I get that organic chicken from the city, which takes 2 months. I wish I was making this up. She constantly yells at the kid when he’s being silly, we can barely talk because she’s on meetings and stuff. I wanted to take him to the town pool most days in the summer, he loves the pool, so far still no Pool passes. I have many nanny friends that go out all the time. Nannies that don’t swim, I do, who take kids to the pool. I used to take all my previous kids that I watched to the pools. I would make our own schedules and, of course, verify with the parents. I never had this situation before. I thought she was anxious, but I just realized I think she’s just controlling, she doesn’t show many anxious signs, it’s more like she’s a helicopter over us and just barking commends at us. Do this and this, eat this and not that...

I will be looking into new jobs so I have a new job lined up by September, or even sooner, the kid will go to school full time but they still want me. I just can’t take it anymore, going there every morning and waiting for commands is not what I envision for a nanny with more than 15 years of Experience.

I was just wondering what your experiences are and how you dealt/deal with them, because I’m slowly burning out.
Thank you!

[Anonymous]

I had a family like the one you described…oh gosh mom had an issue of relinquishing control. She’d tell me how to help her toddler wipe her private areas, make sure the maids come right at 9am and assure to text her at the moment they pull in. She’d have me feeding her toddler a veggie hot dog every day. She’d allow the child to eat 4 crackers(she’d count each cracker that came in box), etc. I resigned after 4 moths but i resigned to the father. He knew she was a nut job. I didn’t give him notice, i was getting so sick of dealing with her every day as her behavior drove me insane!
I got my current fam through an agency:Adventure nannies.
Best of luck!

[Anonymous]

End of your rope means you just get another job.

[Anonymous]

OP, can you afford to quit on the spot?

Because this job sounds like a huge nightmare & your mental health must be adversely affected by this point.

If you continue w/this controlling Mother…..
Even for another week…..it will only bring you down more while at the same time, eating away at your spirit.

Hopefully you have money saved up but even if you do not > you must leave this position stat!

[Anonymous]

Get a different job, your mental health is also very important, I was in a situation like that and I know how it feels. I wish you good luck in finding a new job!!