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Anonymous
I’m a live in nanny and I work 12 h a day for 60 hours a week. I’m paid one and half after the 44 hours. I would say that my pay is ok for the DC area with overtime. However, I asked a higher salary but we agreed to my current salary because the family said they travel often and I will accompany them twice or three times a years. We agreed from 7am to 7pm but sometimes the kids sleep until 8am and I make sure to put them in bed at 8pm to make my full hours. I told them that I’m flexible when they have to go out because I’m home but they not paying me for that and they go out between 2 and 4 times a week. For now, I told them it’s fine since it’s the winter and I don’t go out. I check on the camera until 11pm or midnight and I turn my phone off. Now, they wanted to give me a phone since I turn my phone off and I told them that I’m not working overnight so I don’t need their phone. But, they insisted so I took it. Now, ai just see that they expect me to wake up at night when the kids wake up. Each morning, they asked me how the kids slept my answer always I don’t know I was sleeping. Upfront, I told them a live in nanny has a set schedule and no overnight and she needs to be paid overtime. I don’t know how to be very firm and stand for myself without been rude but I don’t like the idea how they want to take advantage of me. I don’t want to burn out. I’m flexible because the kids go to school 3 times a week for 3 hours. Therefore, I rest at least 2 days because I cook for them every other days basically. I need some advices please! Sorry for the typo I’m so frustrated and also I want to call the agency that found me the position
Anonymous
Omg i would be so burned out. Give them the phone back . How rude of them I’m sorry!
Anonymous
This is exactly what usually happens when you treat employers like a charity. Stop giving them ANY free services. Is there a written contract?
Anonymous
You should have a contract for 60 hours and a set schedule. It should also stare whether you are available for extra hours and what the rate is. Finally, you should also have guaranteed hours.

Stick to the contract.
Anonymous
Thank you everyone! I told them about it and they said we travel for one to two weeks and you are off. Therefore, you need to be flexible
Anonymous
The agency might be able to help you to better define the role. We had a live in for 8 years when our children were younger. She was very flexible with us but we were also flexible with her. You might want to ask them when they’ll be away so you can catch up on your rest.
Anonymous
Thank you so much! I have emailed the agency and we will definitely talk on Tuesday. Your response is very helpful.
Best
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Thank you everyone! I told them about it and they said we travel for one to two weeks and you are off. Therefore, you need to be flexible


But is that off time paid? How much notice do you have that they are going to go? Is there anything that they require that you do while they are gone, anything that makes you stay in the house? If you’re required to stay, you’re working, whether there are children there or not.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Thank you everyone! I told them about it and they said we travel for one to two weeks and you are off. Therefore, you need to be flexible


I am extremely flexible with my families. But nobody has tried to pull the crap with me that you’ve told us. If you are supposed to work 60 hours per week, then you are not responsible for those children overnight. You said that the children are in school for three hours per day three days per week; what portion of that can you actually use to do something else? Travel time to and from the school isn’t time available at the house.
Anonymous
By the way, I’m surprised that the children don’t have a set bedtime every night. I can’t imagine having a bedtime that flexes an hour or more is conducive to a good sleep routine for them.
Anonymous
Here OP,

Thank you everyone! Well, before I started I have asked all those questions about why they want a live in nanny, how about schedule, overnight, travel etc…I have lowered my salary little bit because they told me that they travel a lot. Therefore, I would be off. Of course, occasionally I will travel with them 2 or 3 times a year. “We agreed “ I started in in November and they gave me off for 8 days off and gave me a one week bonus, which I wasn’t expected. We have to travel together with friends and some have twins babies and wanted me to take care of the twins in case they wake up at night. We didn’t talk about the pay in case I take care of them. I told them K can’t work 12 hours and do overnight to take a babysitter from 8pm because I would be exhausted. They just replied but we gave you 9 days off so you need to be flexible. The next day, it was the phone and I told them I can’t do it and they need to pay me
to pay for that. Also, when they go out at night, they should pay me but since I’m home it’s fine. But at this point, I just think they want a 24H coverage. The kids go to school but I cook for the whole family meals 3 or 4 times a week. I’m not off in case the school call or something happens. They just consider I’m not doing both for 3 hours. My opinion is that they are not ready for a live in nanny and it’s the reason people don’t want to be a live in. It’s hectic and families tend to take advance “you’re not paying rent”. I just need a good advice how to approach them or quit because agencies usually take the family side because they don’t want to loose a client. I’m already looking for a new position in case!
Thank you
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Here OP,

Thank you everyone! Well, before I started I have asked all those questions about why they want a live in nanny, how about schedule, overnight, travel etc…I have lowered my salary little bit because they told me that they travel a lot. Therefore, I would be off. Of course, occasionally I will travel with them 2 or 3 times a year. “We agreed “ I started in in November and they gave me off for 8 days off and gave me a one week bonus, which I wasn’t expected. We have to travel together with friends and some have twins babies and wanted me to take care of the twins in case they wake up at night. We didn’t talk about the pay in case I take care of them. I told them K can’t work 12 hours and do overnight to take a babysitter from 8pm because I would be exhausted. They just replied but we gave you 9 days off so you need to be flexible. The next day, it was the phone and I told them I can’t do it and they need to pay me
to pay for that. Also, when they go out at night, they should pay me but since I’m home it’s fine. But at this point, I just think they want a 24H coverage. The kids go to school but I cook for the whole family meals 3 or 4 times a week. I’m not off in case the school call or something happens. They just consider I’m not doing both for 3 hours. My opinion is that they are not ready for a live in nanny and it’s the reason people don’t want to be a live in. It’s hectic and families tend to take advance “you’re not paying rent”. I just need a good advice how to approach them or quit because agencies usually take the family side because they don’t want to loose a client. I’m already looking for a new position in case!
Thank you


Loop in the agency immediately. The family needs two 12 hour nannies or they need 24 hour Nannie’s who switch off. If the children are getting up multiple times during the night, you *will* burn out if you keep trying to do this. If you present the agency with the original job description and the actual needs, then they are much less likely to blackball you.

I’ve done 24/7 a couple times, including my current position. I am *not* working 24 hours per day, I’m paid to be available during school hours and overnight. My actual worked hours vary between 10 and 16, but I’m paid for 24 because I handle *occasional* needs during on call hours. My charge is also old enough that I don’t have a monitor, and he comes next door to get me if he needs me overnight.

Oh, and if they have friends travel with them again? Friends pay for their own nanny or sitter!
Anonymous
You are definitely being taken advantage of OP by your Nanny Family (NF.)

They likely initially gave you those nine days off in the beginning so that they can now use them to their advantage whenever they need anything from you.

It likely was all a set-up disguised as building goodwill.

Plus just because you are “already home” does not give them the right to go out 2-4x/week & leaving you in charge of their three kids!!?

Definitely speak to the Nanny agency + let them know exactly what is going on.
Good luck to you & am so sorry that your employer is taking full advantage of this situation.
Anonymous
This is OP,

Thank you all! I will have a conversation with the agency on Wednesday. I will give you an update.
Thank you again for your support
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:This is OP,

Thank you all! I will have a conversation with the agency on Wednesday. I will give you an update.
Thank you again for your support


Yes, please let us know what happens after speaking w/someone at your agency!

Wishing you good luck.
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