Concern about the morning
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Anonymous
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We have a few months left with our au pair before we leave the program for daycare. Our toddler is 2 years old.
Recently, we noticed after she takes over at 730 AM in the morning, although he’s awake, she sleeps with our son in his bedroom till 830-9AM before going downstairs. He tends to be awake in bed for atleast 30 min during this time. Afterwards, they go down to play, she doesn’t prepare food for him until noon. Breakfast might be something like chocolate milk. We both work so it’s hard to keep track of what is fed everyday. It’s hard to get detailed feedback from her at the end of her workday. What would you do to address this? We’ve been clear with the feeding schedule and meal options multiple times. There’s prepared food ready to heat in the fridge, fruits, etc. Toddler is about 40th percentile for weight and has been dropping over time. |
Anonymous
| If this is real, then what are you waiting for? Please rematch |
Anonymous
| Can you work from home one day or take a day off and just be around while she’s working? Call her out if she’s asleep and he’s awake? Same thing with no giving him breakfast? |
Anonymous
| Omg, that’s so unsafe! You need to let your au pair know immediately that she needs to be awake and attentive whenever she’s watching your 2 year old. And that she needs to feed your son a complete breakfast within a hour of waking up. I’m typically not one for nanny cams but I would get one here to make sure she’s not sleeping on the job and starving your child. If she doesn’t get her act together rematch ASAP (and don’t leave her alone with her child during the transition period). |
Anonymous
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If he is awake in bed and she is dozing, that’s not unsafe - presumably she would notice if he got out of bed. I did the same at that age.
She needs to feed him a real breakfast, though. Focus on that |
Anonymous
Would you feel this way if you hired a nanny and she came over at 7:30am and then put the child on the couch with her while she dozed until 8:30am? Why do we hold au pairs to a super low standard when they are supposed to be providing childcare. This isn't proper care of a 2 year old. |
Anonymous
+1 totally not acceptable. change or rematch. |
Anonymous
| It sounds like the behavior of a big sister providing free childcare to a parent. Like I could see myself doing this at 19 with my much younger brother. But an Au pair is supposed to be a higher level of care and you are paying for it. So no, not acceptable. |
Anonymous
Older sister, cousin or young aunt helping out, yep. Anyone paid? No way. |
Anonymous
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Our last au pair overdosed our kids with chocolate melatonin (in a childproof container)...of course it was an accident. She thought it was just candy in a childproof container...it went even more downhill from there.
If I don't spell out the expectations and leave nothing to chance, I'm going to get the minimum. I would take a morning off or schedule the au pair for a family meeting ASAP if this were me (the me now who has learned her lesson about letting things slide). |
Anonymous
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Wow. She goes to sleep during her scheduled work hours while your child is awake??? And doesn't feed your child to the point he's losing weight???
Rematch. Severe safety concerns to the point you could have CPS called on you for keeping her. |
Anonymous
The language barrier is so tough. We had to draw pictures for our aupair at one point because of things like this. It wasn't worth the risk to deal with it again so when our first aupair left, we left the program. You don't realize how much risk you are taking with a caregiver that can't tell the difference between chocolate and chocolate melatonin and the LCCs act like it's no big deal. It IS a big deal. They need to stay awake during work hours and feed children appropriate food. |
Anonymous
There’s a reason we keep medicine in a specific location. If you label the cabinet with the word medicine and appropriate hazard pictures, never put candy or other food in there, you’re less likely to have problems with miscommunication. However, PP is absolutely right that you have to think through every single possible miscommunication, and come up with ways to make sure that the AP will understand. |
Anonymous
| Best not to have chocolate melatonin in the house. |
Anonymous
| Wondering if the OP can provide an update. The situation describes is extremely concerning and unacceptable. You cannot keep an AP who is negligent about feeding your child to the point that he is losing weight. (Sleeping on the job is also beyond unprofessional although it sounds like the kid is safe in his crib.) |