Rematch vs getting out of the program

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12/25/2022 22:17

Subject: Rematch vs getting out of the program

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Anonymous

We are on our second AP. Our first AP left to move to a particular area she wanted to be in ( 3 months in) We had a great relationship with our first AP. She was interested in the cultural exchange experience. The kids loved learning from her. Our second AP was okay for the first 3 weeks, the met a guy (he now boyfriend). When we rematched her concerns with having free time to herself. Her previous HF had a tight schedule for her which included coming back for dinner 2 hours after her working hours are done, meaning if she was done a 5:30, she could do whatever she wanted but needed to be back for dinner. We did not have the problem but did tell her that we needed flexibility because we both have jobs require us to work holidays and weekends. She was okay with that until she started dating. She started asking if she could leave early to go to activities with her boyfriend. Started spending nights at her BF’s house, not just on her days off but also on nights before the days she has to work. One morning I had wait 5 minutes for her to get back in the morning before I could leave to go to work. I talked to her that don’t want to give her a curfew as I want to treat as adult (she is 25). She was apologetic and started coming back around midnight for about a week then was back being late again. I then talked to the LLC who offered to sit down with both of us. LLC recommended that AP needs to be back 7 -8 hours before shift. Things were good for about a week or so she started coming back 3-4 hours later that the time we all (AP, LLC) agreed upon. I never addressed this again, which my fault. I was just hoping to just finish the year with her and not renew. I was okay with finishing the year until the following things pushed me over the edge:

1. She refused to work a holiday, we asked her to choose Thanksgiving or Christmas and she refused saying the holiday are very important to her and she had agreed to spend them with BF family. She also refused to work one weekend because her BF had tickets and tried get herself out of an already committed weekend.

2. One afternoon she was watching a movie while one of my kids (9) was making animations on the iPad in the same room. I happened to sit down on the couch and the movie was playing a sex scene. I thought she would quick change/stop the movie but she continued watching. I had to asked her to stopped the movie. Her response was his busy animating.

3. She is constantly asking to leave early so she can go watch a sports game or do activity with her BF. She asks 2-3 times a week. I am not talking about 10-15 minutes. I am talking 2 hours early.

4. She complained to my older kid (11) that she only makes about $4/hr even though she only works 30 hrs /week and on top of that she is always asking to leave early.

5. She seems checked out. You can tell that the most important thing to her is her relationship. And I and don’t wish her ill. I know she wants to stay and I hope explores other paths to staying other than doing a second year because I don’t think she has the maturity to balance a serious relationship and having a job with a lot of flexibility. To make matter worse he BF 10-15 hours a week so he has a lot free time.

6. There are a lot of other nuisances, that I cants think of right now.

Long story short, we have 2 months left and I am thinking about either rematching with the intention to renew or just getting out of the program. We had a good experience with our first AP and it would nice to have another AP especially for the cultural exchange and flexibility but on the other hand I am just kind feeling done the whole thing. Feel free to give any input but mostly I am just trying to vent because this process has just drained my energy.