Need input from nannies on my situation. Please read and respond.

[Anonymous]

Hello Nannies,

I am in a situation which I need some input from you all, whether to continue for another year or not. I have been a nanny for over 20 years, and am very confident in what i do.
Most of my families i have worked for 5-6yrs. I have been with this new family for the past year, but quickly realized, i may lose my sanity. I stayed just because i feel for the kids.
Kids 16,13,7 all on the spectrum and Mother ADHD. The house is insanely cluttered, which I organized and cleaned when i started because clutter gave me anxiety it never stayed that way and it was back the next day. Mother does not work, but does absolutely nothing for the kids, other than drive them and sleep all day or sit on the computer. Does not pick up after herself, the kids have no manners or discipline because she refers to podcasts and is always changing her ways and never reprimands them.

Since i started it has been a night n day change, the kids respond very well to me but not to her, they are well behaved with me, the tantrums screaming has stopped, but when she comes around they get extremely annoyed and start acting up. I have not worked with parents being around all the time, i cannot have anyone breathing down my neck, in all my jobs, my families have been so amazing and supported me in everything, in her case i think she feels guilty or maybe jealous that they respond to me better.

Father is in the basement office 90% of the time. I was told no childcare involved, but i get 7yr olds homework, pick drop him, take him to parks, feed him.
Drive the older ones to appointments 30 mins each way
i prep and cook gourmet meals everyday ( i enjoy cooking and am good at it) meal prep was requested but i have to do everything from chopping to cooking to doing dishes after (which i have never had to do in my previous jobs)
Expect me to do laundry of the boys and adults
once dinner is ready even if it is at 4, the parents eat before the kids can and sometimes not enough for the kids
Clean the kitchen, sweep floors, declutter, drive, pick groceries, pick prescriptions, fill gas....they literally want me to do every darn thing and not move a muscle.

i was told i would be helping the mom, divide the driving etc, but i feel i am the housekeeper, chef, driver, tutor and nanny.

They pay me $27/hr and $200 towards health which i always request. I took a pay cut. I am fed-up with the mom, she is always late for everything and the kids suffer, every parent avoids her and has issues with her tardiness and long emails and texts and over the top behavior, She is a good person by heart but its very hard to deal with her, and she sits smack in the area where i work, and that is something that is just too hard for me. The only reason i am considering it is because i am there for the kids and they have some order now.

I feel what i do is more like a housemanager, and i should be paid wayy more, not do adult laundry or cook elaborate meals. If i feel like it yes but not a part of my job.

The dad really wants me to do another year because he sees the changes and i took over what he has done for years. But he is a penny pincher and expects too much. even if i am done with everything, and kids are doing their own thing he will make me sit till its my time. I have never had to face that.

I want to know what i should ask for if i choose to continue another year. and yes... i go for 1 hour in the morning 7-15-9 just to make eggs, i make all their lunches the night before. then i drop 7yo. Its insane how much i do. I am very fast in work and can multitask well, so i get things done before time and can do a lot in a short time. He feels like i don't do enough and have extra time.

Plz let me know from this whole situation, what i should charge. I appreciate you all reading this longg msg, but i had to explain. Thank you in advance.

[Anonymous]

Are you happy?
It doesn't sound like it. You should look for a new position.
It's that simple.
Keep working with them until you have a new job.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

It really sounds like a bad job, OP. I would not stay for another year.

[Anonymous]

What would the benefit to you be if you stayed another year? I just don’t see one.

You could earn the same salary easily with a family that respects you and parents who aren’t home!! $27 an hour plus a healthcare stipend for 3 kids with special needs is actually quite low.

I would definitely leave.

[Anonymous]

I got stressed just reading all things you do everyday. It's insane; you are not just a housemanager. You do more than that and not worth only the low rate they are playing. Wow.. how you have been working like that for 1 year? All of you description it give my at first sight lots of red flags. Working in a bad and stressful environment. Think about your mental health. It's not safe for you to stay one more year. I would quit and start looking for a new Job ASAP. As one on PP said; you can easily earn the same money; working for a single family with no laundry for parents, no cooking, no cleaning, no doing groceries etc etc. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

You lost me when you said you were hired as a nanny but told there would be no childcare in this job. Isn't that the whole point of nannying?

[Anonymous]

Oh hell no that’s easily $35hr.

[Anonymous]

They are paying you so they don’t have to do it. Quit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You lost me when you said you were hired as a nanny but told there would be no childcare in this job. Isn't that the whole point of nannying?

+1

Yes, this kind of confused me a little as well.

Can you plz clarify this OP? Thx.

I can tell that you are very unhappy w/many aspects of your job.
I do not blame you.
Your duties are many & it seems the parents are checked out when it comes to their own kids.

To commit to another yr. w/this family will only drive you crazy.
I know you care a lot for the kids - however you need to do what is the best thing for you.
And that would be to leave this busy, toxic job + find something that better suits you.

I doubt that you will ever be paid what you actually deserve w/this family.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

You could get a one baby job, much less stress for $30hr in this market

[Anonymous]

You could have another job in a week or 2. Leave.

[Anonymous]

I do hope you leave, OP. I really see no benefit in your staying. Your employers are not going to change and it sounds like a miserable situation.

[Anonymous]

Hi Guys,

Thank you so much for all your responses. Just want to clear the thing most have been confused about. The ad was for a nanny, when I spoke to the guy, he said it would be helping the mom driving kids if need be, and there are multiple places she has to be.
I specifically asked, what will the mom be doing since she does not work. He said she would be upstairs doing stuff on her computer.
When i mentioned recently, you had said no childcare but i am driving and picking the 7yo up everyday, giving him snack, taking him to the park. He said "oh i thought childcare was changing diapers and all that stuff"

The reason i am considering it is because i want to get into my cybersecurity field, i need a year to do an internship or shadowing somewhere which wont be a paid thing.
I would hate to start with someone and then have to quit, i don't want to do that to any family. It may be a year or a bit longer. So i was hoping i could ask for a raise and do the year. But wanted to know how much i should ask for.

Initially, i drove 4 times, came in the morning from 7-9 and came back from 2-8, and i was driving my car with no compensation. i stopped that n started using their car one way. And they do not want me to take up anything in the morning hours because they want flexibility, and days of no school they want me there 12-8.

So yes, there a lot of things wrong, I'm at a point where I cannot be without a job if i cant find a right one by July, I'm single and have no family and as we all know, COVID consequences.

I really appreciate the time you all took to respond to me. I will update, but in the mean time please do keep your views coming.

Thank you

[Anonymous]

I am not sure how to respond to people individually, plz let me know if you can help so i can respond to everyone.

[Anonymous]

OP, you need to brush up your resume and start looking at other positions. Look for a job with either a baby where the family plans to move to daycare at 12/18/whatever months old or a kid who is close to being school age. Be up front that you are looking for a 1-year position. Lots of families are looking for that!