First Time Parents - Seeking Au Pair to Start in Nov - DC - Extraordinaire? IQ? Agency?

[Anonymous]

First time parents - help! We've run the costs on the various types of childcare - it seems like AP may be our best bet for what we are looking for and willing to offer.

We don't really understand some of the distinctions - extraordinaire, educare, IQ? Is an extraordinaire automatically IQ?

Do most people work with multiple agencies to narrow down? We've looked at Au Pair in America, Cultural Care, and Au Pair Care. Is there a reason to go with one or the other?

Is there a list of questions to ask an agency to determine which is the right fit? Same for au pairs.

Any help would be appreciated!

[Anonymous]

Hi OP,

I know you did not ask this, but please also carefully consider non-monetary costs of the program, such having a young adult live in our house. Someone, who may have never lived on their own before, someone who may require a lot of hand-holding, someone whom you would be integrating into your family, and someone with whom you won't have a simple employer/employee relationship. Don't get me wrong, sometimes you get a lot in return. Anyway, if all of this sounds good to you and if you are still interested, here's my take on your questions.

A good resource what you may have already found if you did any research on your own is this site: https://aupairmom.com/

If you have a child younger than 2yo (even if you don't plan on having the AP take care of this child), you will need an Infant Qualified (IQ) AP. This means that (at least on paper) an IQ AP took care of young children for a certain number of hours. All agencies distinguish IQ from non-IQ au pairs. All other distinctions are not regulated. For example, I believe that APA has extraordinaire au pairs, while CC does not make this distinction. You should spend some time googling what each agency has and compare definition. For example, I don't believe that all extraordinaires are IQ. The requirements are simply different.

IMHO, agency does not matter much. What matters is that you find the right candidate. The only caveat is that if you go with a smaller agency, your rematch pool may be smaller, should things go wrong with your au pair. The three big ones are all fine.

As for the questions to ask the candidates, this is probably family specific. The questions about childcare will depend of the age of your children and the tasks for your au pair. For example, there is a big difference between choosing an au pair to take care of a 1yo in an urban setting, where she does not have to drive vs. finding an au pair for help tweens with their homework and drive them to their activities. Also, please spend some time thinking about what is important to you in a roommate? If you have dietary restrictions, talk about them? If you are super neat and cannot tolerate crumbs, talk about that. Are you a sporty family or more chill? Overall, be honest in the matching process; withholding information only gets you in rematch and the latter is stressful.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

You should be prepared to spend around 30-35k annually. For a child under 2, I would only hire an extraordinaire. They are almost always IQ, unless they are a SN specialist.

[Anonymous]

for a child under 2, really screen well. especially during pandemic times

[Anonymous]

Agree with previous posters. I did not give enough consideration to the impact that having a young person in my home. As an introvert, I was already concerned about this but the agency waved off my concerns. She’ll be be gone all weekend, they said. She’ll make lots of friends who will provide her with emotional support and fun excursions, they said. The girls in the program are well adjusted, mature and respectful, they said. Lies!!! Lol. But seriously, do consider your set up, how much more you can add to your plate, etc. I am back to nannies and although it may be a bit more expensive, it’s 100% worth it for my sanity!

[Anonymous]

To PP’s concerns, yes there’s someone living in your house, but if you screen well you’ll get someone who is independent and wants to get out and explore on the weekends. I had a wonderful IQ au pair though started when my youngest was 1 yo. I would say our only challenge during that time was that the older American Nannies in my neighborhood didn’t want to do play dates with my younger European au pair. But other than that I found it similar to a nanny, she did park, play dates, nap schedule, snacks. In some ways she was more willing to take direction than a nanny (I had a nanny for my first DC and switched to AP for DC2).

[Anonymous]

Look at the pools in each agency. You can create an account and start interviewing with candidates from multiple agencies. No payment required until you match with someone. I've tried CC and APC and found it easier to interview and match with APC.

Know your personality and what would or would not work for you. We've had a super independent AP, a super clingy one, and something in-between. In terms of mental load, the independent one was the easiest. Luckily we haven't had any partiers.

[Anonymous]

We had au pairs from the time my first was less than a year old. We never had an extraordinaire but nearly matched with one who was a Thai baby nurse. I just looked for people with lots of infant experience and full days of caring for a baby 1:1 (not just babysitting or watching a family member. We had great luck with 2 Thai and 1 Mexican au pair, all were wonderful. We did hear that most European au pairs aren't a great fit for infants because European countries tend to have good maternity leave options so young women don't get nanny or babysitting experience with infants. Good luck!!!