If you quit the AP program during COVID

[Anonymous]

1.what was your breaking point?

and

2. What would it take for you to rejoin the program

We are contemplating and would like to hear other perspectives

[Anonymous]

We took a break from hosting for almost 18 months. We came back because our children are vaccinated, after school sports and activities are back in full swing, we don’t want a full time nanny but the after school babysitter doesn’t give us all the coverage and flexibility we need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We took a break from hosting for almost 18 months. We came back because our children are vaccinated, after school sports and activities are back in full swing, we don’t want a full time nanny but the after school babysitter doesn’t give us all the coverage and flexibility we need.

Thanks, that was helpful. Do you find that pool of candidates to be any better now (and the LCCs as well)?

[Anonymous]

We usually hire from Germany, Austria, Poland and yes the candidate pool was the same. I know there are a lot more au pairs in the area from South and Central America than there were in the past because it had been easier to get visas.

[Anonymous]

I quit the program when my au pair wanted to rematch for non-COVID reasons in March 2020. I interviewed some rematch candidates, but I have had enough au pairs to know that it would be really hard to find someone I could trust to follow COVID precautions, since all adults in our household are high risk.

I would not rejoin the program until and unless the agencies start vetting candidates more fully and accurately, which will never happen. Also, I think the program flat out doesn't work if you live anywhere other than the approximately 5 places that au pairs find desirable. Any au pair you interview will lie and say they want to move to Alabama or Wyoming or whatever, just to get a visa. But once they're here, they're trying to rematch to California or Florida. And the agencies don't care at all-- I think they encourage it.

It was honestly easier for me to find a new job that works with daycare/ aftercare hours than it would be to find a qualified au pair with real experience who is willing to live in Midsize Flyover City. Plus, aftercare is way cheaper and higher quality than a resentful, entitled au pair.

[Anonymous]

Our AP left in April of 2020 and we took a break until the summer 2021. Our kids were still in preschool and we LOVED having a nanny, rather than sending them back to preschool in the fall and then worrying about Covid every single day. The difference between AP and nanny was night-and-day. She was amazing with the kids, my play/dining area was spotless every evening, and I did not have to expand any mental energy on another young adult living in my household. But we are back to hosting an AP. The kids are back at school and we don't need a fulltime nanny anymore. At the same time, DH and I work fulltime, so we need help with the kids when they are home from school and to drive them around.

[Anonymous]

Au pair said all the right things to get visa on my NIE to watch 3 kids, pulled a fast one like many and made up some bull crap story to rematch less than 2 weeks in. Did not trust to have another one given how terribly stressful that situation was. Lost 5gs ( nonrefundable agency money) not to mention all the brand new sheets, towels, linens, room decor I bought in her favorite color.

Kids back in day care with extended hours to accommodate work.

A night and day difference between professional childcare and an entitled glorified teenager.

Never again would I go back to the program. It's a scam if it doesn't work out. They are not vetted. The au pair told me " I am just a girl, I don't know how to watch kids".... Mind you She was a "teacher" in her Central American country witha million hours and so much other experience.... Yeah right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Au pair said all the right things to get visa on my NIE to watch 3 kids, pulled a fast one like many and made up some bull crap story to rematch less than 2 weeks in. Did not trust to have another one given how terribly stressful that situation was. Lost 5gs ( nonrefundable agency money) not to mention all the brand new sheets, towels, linens, room decor I bought in her favorite color.

Kids back in day care with extended hours to accommodate work.

A night and day difference between professional childcare and an entitled glorified teenager.

Never again would I go back to the program. It's a scam if it doesn't work out. They are not vetted. The au pair told me " I am just a girl, I don't know how to watch kids".... Mind you She was a "teacher" in her Central American country witha million hours and so much other experience.... Yeah right.

I'm the 22:20 poster above. I refused to even pull my kids out of daycare when I hired the last au pair, because I'd had two previous au pairs through a different agency years earlier who didn't work out. I couldn't give up a reliable daycare spot for an au pair who was likely to flake or be terrible at her job. She knew from the beginning that she would be working evenings and weekends so that I could focus on eldercare for a sick parent. And then she got here and balked at evening and weekend hours (and work in general).

It really does feel like a scam. They coach these girls to lie about everything, and then they come here and don't care what they do to upend your life, career, or family.

[Anonymous]

We took a short 3 month break but are back and happy with the program - don't let all the naysayers scare you, but be realistic about what the program is, and isnt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We took a short 3 month break but are back and happy with the program - don't let all the naysayers scare you, but be realistic about what the program is, and isnt.

What it isn't, is professional childcare. It's 100% not.

[Anonymous]

For those that generally like the AP program, any noticeable differences in APs now v 2-3 years ago?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those that generally like the AP program, any noticeable differences in APs now v 2-3 years ago?

No. We did three years pre COVID now have a new au pair. She is just as engaged and good as the prior years. Good with the kids, making friends and getting out and about, doing some traveling. We have a pretty easy gig and reasonable COVID rules though which I think helps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those that generally like the AP program, any noticeable differences in APs now v 2-3 years ago?

No. We did three years pre COVID now have a new au pair. She is just as engaged and good as the prior years. Good with the kids, making friends and getting out and about, doing some traveling. We have a pretty easy gig and reasonable COVID rules though which I think helps.

So basically you are lucky enough to not have anyone in your houshold have medical risks and so the hell with those who do have legit concerns and are thus "unreasonable"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
For those that generally like the AP program, any noticeable differences in APs now v 2-3 years ago?


No. We did three years pre COVID now have a new au pair. She is just as engaged and good as the prior years. Good with the kids, making friends and getting out and about, doing some traveling. We have a pretty easy gig and reasonable COVID rules though which I think helps.


So basically you are lucky enough to not have anyone in your houshold have medical risks and so the hell with those who do have legit concerns and are thus "unreasonable"


If you do have higher risk people in your household then the AP program is probably not for you as it introduces additional risk into your household. If you’re all fully vaccinated and boosted, then letting your AP engage in activities, travel, etc would be reasonable. Doesn’t mean other rules are unreasonable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
For those that generally like the AP program, any noticeable differences in APs now v 2-3 years ago?


No. We did three years pre COVID now have a new au pair. She is just as engaged and good as the prior years. Good with the kids, making friends and getting out and about, doing some traveling. We have a pretty easy gig and reasonable COVID rules though which I think helps.


So basically you are lucky enough to not have anyone in your houshold have medical risks and so the hell with those who do have legit concerns and are thus "unreasonable"


If you do have higher risk people in your household then the AP program is probably not for you as it introduces additional risk into your household. If you’re all fully vaccinated and boosted, then letting your AP engage in activities, travel, etc would be reasonable. Doesn’t mean other rules are unreasonable.

small kids aren't eligible for boosters yet, and they can also be medically higher risk