Holiday travel - separate bedroom
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Anonymous
| We are heading to the west coast for Christmas to be with my family. We are happy to take our AP with us. However, my parents don’t have enough rooms in their house to give a separate room to the AP. The only solution is for her to share a bedroom with our teenaged son, while our two younger children share a bedroom with us. If you were in a similar situation, how have you handled it? TYIA |
Anonymous
| Really not appropriate for her to share a room with a teenage boy, for either of them. Do they have an office or other space where they can put up the au pair? That’s what we’ve done at my parents, but over the years the room has morphed more into a bedroom. They always had a real bed (trundle they moved in there) for her and my 3 kids sleep on one bed and air mattresses in my old room. |
Anonymous
| Teen boy on couch. |
Anonymous
| Umm no this is not ok. Fine to share with a female child IF you give her the choice. She can come and share a room or not come and just have a paid week off. |
Anonymous
| But if she comes - she is not allowed to work at all b/c she is not being given a separate room. I would just get her an Airbnb or get yourselves a separate Airbnb. |
Anonymous
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Could you get her a hotel room near their house? She might like the quiet alone time at night. I definitely don’t think it’s appropriate to put her with a teen boy…
We have traveled with an au pair in a 2 room condo (our friends condo… otherwise I would’ve gotten a 3 bed air bib). She stayed in a room with our young girls (she got a queen bed, the girls took the other queen bed). We tried to structure it so that the au pair had the room during the day and our girls were only in the room at night for sleeping. I felt guilty bc I think au pairs are supposed to have their own room when you travel. But the only nearby hotels were like $250/night so I would’ve just left the au pair home, and she wanted to go so she agreed to the arrangement… |
Anonymous
This! If she's going to be working at all, it's your only option. If you're not going to have her work at all, she can share a room with girls or boys up to roughly age four. |
Anonymous
4 seems a little young. Our ap happily shared a hotel room on vacation with our 7yo son, at her suggestion. |
Anonymous
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It is absolutely morally inappropriate, regardless of whether or not your au pair is working, to have her share a bedroom with a teen boy.
We have traveled with our nanny. We ALL stay in an AirBnB or hotel nearby who we're visiting. If the nanny is working, then they stay with us. If they're not working, we just offer to pay airfare for them to come to whichever city we're going to if they want to come, and they either go stay with their own friends or stay at our AirBnB but do their own thing. |
Anonymous
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This is completely out of line and inappropriate, whether she is working or not.
Your question shows that you are clueless … I question the type of host mom you are, and what other inappropriate situations you’ve put your Au pair in during her time with your family. |
Anonymous
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Hi OP,
Hier are your options, the way I see them: If you need her to work: - teen on the couch - rent an Airbnb for your AP If you don’t need her to work: - offer to pay for her airfare and have her take care of her own accommodations - have AP share the room with the younger kids and have the teen sleep in the same room as you and DH Good luck! |
Anonymous
| The other option nobody has mentioned is females in one room (including mom) and males in the other (including dad). |
Anonymous
| Don’t bring the AP. It will make your life harder |
Anonymous
You 100% can’t have your Au Pair share a room if you need her to work. |
Anonymous
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I would leave the aupair at home and give her the time to take a vacation or share the holiday with a host family which isn't traveling. This will be an expense and an inconvenience if you dont' need care for the kids.
She cannot share a room for the holiday. You need to rent your own place to stay which is big enough or teen boy on couch like suggested. We stopped traveling with our aupair when it means taking her to stay with family. Two of our last aupairs stayed in their bedroom the entire time on their phones and then asked if they could borrow cars to go out. Really not what we have thought when we brought them along. Travel aside, no, they can't share rooms. |