Nanny Dilemma

[Anonymous]

I am a Nanny to a family for about fifteen mos.

I was referred to them by a close friend of theirs that I had worked for prior, about ten yrs.
We always have had a great relationship and they appreciated my work which is why they referred me to their good friend.
Sounds awesome, right?
Nope.

This new family has been a nightmare to work for, these past few mos.
For instance, they agreed on a specific hourly rate and have paid me less.
When I brought it up to them - they claimed that they never agreed on such a rate.

Now I see the importance of a written contract!
I also have caught them in multiple lies over the past few mos. & I am to the point where I feel extremely uncomfortable around them.
I love the kids and will miss them greatly but I just cannot continue on like this.

They treat me like the “hired help” and I noticed they shortchanged me again (!) on today’s paycheck.

I plan on not showing up next wk. since I am not making the agreed upon rate, but am afraid my relationship w/my former employers will be negatively impacted.
Yet I cannot continue letting this current family shortchange me.
Any advice appreciated here.

[Anonymous]

You are the hired help. Send them an email with your hours and what your paycheck should be.

[Anonymous]

You know you need to leave this job, right? This is a great time of the year to find another position.

You don’t have to tell your former employers anything beyond the fact that you’ve found another position. Make up a reason (better hours, closer to home, significantly more money, better schedule for your school, etc). Never complain or bad-mouth anyone. Give a lot of notice and also lie to your current employers about why you’ve leaving. If you do it all professionally and calmly, you should still be able to see your charges and get a good recommendation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You know you need to leave this job, right? This is a great time of the year to find another position.

You don’t have to tell your former employers anything beyond the fact that you’ve found another position. Make up a reason (better hours, closer to home, significantly more money, better schedule for your school, etc). Never complain or bad-mouth anyone. Give a lot of notice and also lie to your current employers about why you’ve leaving. If you do it all professionally and calmly, you should still be able to see your charges and get a good recommendation.

By the way, YOU MUST SHOW UP FOR WORK NEXT WEEK. Don’t be stupid. Give your notice on Monday but go to work. You will not get another job with an18 month hole intour resume and a possible bad reference from your former employers.

[Anonymous]

In many situations I think giving notice is only the right thing to do - but in this case not so much. If you are not or have not got any monies that are owed to you then I think you have a legit reason to not show up for work. Who would show up to work when they are not being paid fully?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In many situations I think giving notice is only the right thing to do - but in this case not so much. If you are not or have not got any monies that are owed to you then I think you have a legit reason to not show up for work. Who would show up to work when they are not being paid fully?

NP here and I disagree. Having a 25 month hole in your resume is going to hurt OP far more than inadequate payment and absolutely more than it will hurt her unscrupulous employers. And OP is being short-changed and not stiffed.

OP, email their error today and give notice on Monday.

And get a contract with your new job!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a Nanny to a family for about fifteen mos.

I was referred to them by a close friend of theirs that I had worked for prior, about ten yrs.
We always have had a great relationship and they appreciated my work which is why they referred me to their good friend.
Sounds awesome, right?
Nope.

This new family has been a nightmare to work for, these past few mos.
For instance, they agreed on a specific hourly rate and have paid me less.
When I brought it up to them - they claimed that they never agreed on such a rate.

Now I see the importance of a written contract!
I also have caught them in multiple lies over the past few mos. & I am to the point where I feel extremely uncomfortable around them.
I love the kids and will miss them greatly but I just cannot continue on like this.

They treat me like the “hired help” and I noticed they shortchanged me again (!) on today’s paycheck.

I plan on not showing up next wk. since I am not making the agreed upon rate, but am afraid my relationship w/my former employers will be negatively impacted.
Yet I cannot continue letting this current family shortchange me.
Any advice appreciated here.

I agree with the other PPs.

1. You give your notice immediately.
2. Start looking for a new job.
3. Have a contract ready for the new family to tweak.

[Anonymous]

Not showing up for work just proves to them that you’re not worth the money. And yes, of course that will get back to your former employers who will also think less of you and side with their friends.

Stay classy, OP. Search for a new job this weekend and give your notice on Monday. Invoice them for the missing salary but stay friendly. Lie about why you’re leaving. But definitely leave.

[Anonymous]

Most people would not go back to a job that they didn’t get paid the full amount for.

I know I sure would not.

[Anonymous]

I think lying about why you’re leaving is terrible advice. Be honest, that way you have proof that you’re not getting paid according to what was agreed upon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most people would not go back to a job that they didn’t get paid the full amount for.

I know I sure would not.

So you would rather have a 15 month hole in your resume and possibly wreck your relationship with your old employer than show up and give notice?

You’d be cutting off your nose to spite your face. It’s a stupid and childish move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think lying about why you’re leaving is terrible advice. Be honest, that way you have proof that you’re not getting paid according to what was agreed upon.

Lying about why you’re leaving is the best possible advice when the truth will only burn bridges and not ultimately serve you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not showing up for work just proves to them that you’re not worth the money. And yes, of course that will get back to your former employers who will also think less of you and side with their friends.

Stay classy, OP. Search for a new job this weekend and give your notice on Monday. Invoice them for the missing salary but stay friendly. Lie about why you’re leaving. But definitely leave.

+1. Not showing up for work puts OP in the wrong. Not only will she never see the missing money but she’ll get a crappy recommendation. Future employers don’t want to hear about your drama with the last employer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not showing up for work just proves to them that you’re not worth the money. And yes, of course that will get back to your former employers who will also think less of you and side with their friends.

Stay classy, OP. Search for a new job this weekend and give your notice on Monday. Invoice them for the missing salary but stay friendly. Lie about why you’re leaving. But definitely leave.

+1. Not showing up for work puts OP in the wrong. Not only will she never see the missing money, but she’ll get a crappy recommendation. Future employers don’t want to hear about your drama with the last employer.

She's already been paid. She's accepting a lower rate if she shows up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not showing up for work just proves to them that you’re not worth the money. And yes, of course that will get back to your former employers who will also think less of you and side with their friends.

Stay classy, OP. Search for a new job this weekend and give your notice on Monday. Invoice them for the missing salary but stay friendly. Lie about why you’re leaving. But definitely leave.

+1. Not showing up for work puts OP in the wrong. Not only will she never see the missing money, but she’ll get a crappy recommendation. Future employers don’t want to hear about your drama with the last employer.

She's already been paid. She's accepting a lower rate if she shows up.

Actually that’s not what OP wrote. And my point is that it’s for two weeks to get a decent recommendation. Honestly, it’s worth it.