Au Pairs Who Smoke

[Anonymous]

We have a candidate who is what we are looking for in every way, but she indicated on the form that she smokes -she said 1/4 a pack per day. She indicated that she would not smoke in our home or car or around our 4 year old. On the one hand, I respect get honestly. We had a “non-smoker” who was really a closet smoker who smoked in her bathroom. She went home early. She won’t be able to smoke in restaurants/clubs in DC, which will be a big change from her home country. Would you match with a smoker?

[Anonymous]

It does not really matter if *I* would match with a smoker. The question is would that work for you and your family. Having an au pair is a package-deal. Does the package work for you? I am sure that some things that are ok for our family are dealbreakers for others and vice versa. FWIW, I would not match with a smoker but that should be of little relevance to you.

[Anonymous]

Would be tough for us but I second the previous poster, doesn't matter if we would match with her it's what's a non-negotiable to you. Also nicotine withdrawal is tough, would she be grumpy with the kids?

[Anonymous]

I really appreciate the honesty and maturity with which she is approaching this - I think at that age I would have said "I smoke 1-2 cigarettes when I am out with friends" even if I were a pack a day smoker!

What really bugs me is the smell of smokers, if you could live with that it might be ok.

[Anonymous]

Ask yourself this: what if she smokes in your home or your car? Would that upset you? Because I think you need to assume that'll happen at some point over the year.

[Anonymous]

That would not work for us. We're really firm about no smoking.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't, but my children and I are also medically vulnerable to second-hand smoke effects. I would assume that she is going to smoke in your house or car at some point, regardless of rules that you set for her.

[Anonymous]

3rd hand smoke is a thing, chemicals sit on clothes, skin, etc and can be toxic. Look it up!