What does a babysitter do?

[Anonymous]

This might be a silly question but I was raised with a nanny and this is my first child. We expected to have a nanny, but between COVID and a really unlikely spot opening up in our first choice subsidized daycare, we haven’t hired one. We hired a college student to come in for a few hours a day this summer to provide extra play for the baby while we WFH.

Baby will probably sleep at least 1.5 hours while she’s here. I was thinking of assigning one basic baby task— either washing baby’s lunch dishes and bottles or folding a load of baby laundry— after which I’m happy for her to do whatever she’d like, but I don’t know what is par for the course. Our nanny when I was growing up made family meals and did light housework but I don’t think that’s appropriate for a summer sitter. Can I ask her to go to Starbucks for everyone, for example? I have no idea what is “normal”

[Anonymous]

You can not ask your babysitter to run errands. A babysitter keeps your baby alive and uninjured (as much as possible) and relatively happy until you get back.

You can say "during nap time would you mind folding the baby clothes in the basket". Asking them to make meals or do housework are totally inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

Babysitters keep your kids alive and uninjured. Nannies teach and take care of all of the kids’ needs, including cooking for them, doing their laundry, and cleaning up after them. Housekeepers and house managers do household laundry, errands and family cooking.

If you are employing a sitter, don’t ask for anything beyond basic custodial care.

[Anonymous]

Wow I think people are so hard headed about childcare duties, when it’s your house and you make the rules. If you were working for an employer who asked you to chip in and help do some administrative tasks because he lacks a secretary but it’s not really your job title, are you a team player or is that not the job for you?

Before hiring them, just spell it out, “if you have free time to help do dishes or laundry we would be eternally grateful. But we don’t expect it since childcare is what you are actually here for.” Don’t even ask them, just mention it and see if they help. Let them decide and don’t have expectations. If they are offended they won’t take the job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow I think people are so hard headed about childcare duties, when it’s your house and you make the rules. If you were working for an employer who asked you to chip in and help do some administrative tasks because he lacks a secretary but it’s not really your job title, are you a team player or is that not the job for you?

Before hiring them, just spell it out, “if you have free time to help do dishes or laundry we would be eternally grateful. But we don’t expect it since childcare is what you are actually here for.” Don’t even ask them, just mention it and see if they help. Let them decide and don’t have expectations. If they are offended they won’t take the job.

Except OP wants to "assign" at least one chore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow I think people are so hard headed about childcare duties, when it’s your house and you make the rules. If you were working for an employer who asked you to chip in and help do some administrative tasks because he lacks a secretary but it’s not really your job title, are you a team player or is that not the job for you?

Before hiring them, just spell it out, “if you have free time to help do dishes or laundry we would be eternally grateful. But we don’t expect it since childcare is what you are actually here for.” Don’t even ask them, just mention it and see if they help. Let them decide and don’t have expectations. If they are offended they won’t take the job.

Except OP wants to "assign" at least one chore.

OP here. Why is “assign” in quotes? Isn’t my basic job as her employer to tell her what tasks to do?

It worked out very well, she did the baby’s lunch dishes while the baby napped and cleaned up the high chair, then as far as I can tell spent an hour on her phone. She didn’t seem upset or surprised by the request.

[Anonymous]

OP, it sounds like you were raised with a servant, not a nanny. What country are you from? What did your mother do besides have lunch?

[Anonymous]

I was a babysitter from age 12 to 17. I was never asked to do anything other than watch the kid(s) and put them to bed.

More that that, it is a nanny with much much higher pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, it sounds like you were raised with a servant, not a nanny. What country are you from? What did your mother do besides have lunch?

I was born and raised in the U.S (in NY if it matters) and I would not describe our nanny as a servant. She was with us all the time and taught us to swim and read. She did housework when we napped and she made dinner while we did homework. My parents didn’t believe in separate meals for kids so just making the children’s meal wouldn’t have made sense. My mother worked.

[Anonymous]

Its reasonable they clean up after the baby and fold laundry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This might be a silly question but I was raised with a nanny and this is my first child. We expected to have a nanny, but between COVID and a really unlikely spot opening up in our first choice subsidized daycare, we haven’t hired one. We hired a college student to come in for a few hours a day this summer to provide extra play for the baby while we WFH.

Baby will probably sleep at least 1.5 hours while she’s here. I was thinking of assigning one basic baby task— either washing baby’s lunch dishes and bottles or folding a load of baby laundry— after which I’m happy for her to do whatever she’d like, but I don’t know what is par for the course. Our nanny when I was growing up made family meals and did light housework but I don’t think that’s appropriate for a summer sitter. Can I ask her to go to Starbucks for everyone, for example? I have no idea what is “normal”

No, I don’t think running to get you coffee is appropriate. I suppose child related chores are fine while the baby is asleep but babysitters aren’t nannies so I wouldn’t push. If you lose your sitter you may not be able to find another for the summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow I think people are so hard headed about childcare duties, when it’s your house and you make the rules. If you were working for an employer who asked you to chip in and help do some administrative tasks because he lacks a secretary but it’s not really your job title, are you a team player or is that not the job for you?

Before hiring them, just spell it out, “if you have free time to help do dishes or laundry we would be eternally grateful. But we don’t expect it since childcare is what you are actually here for.” Don’t even ask them, just mention it and see if they help. Let them decide and don’t have expectations. If they are offended they won’t take the job.

Except OP wants to "assign" at least one chore.

OP here. Why is “assign” in quotes? Isn’t my basic job as her employer to tell her what tasks to do?

It worked out very well, she did the baby’s lunch dishes while the baby napped and cleaned up the high chair, then as far as I can tell spent an hour on her phone. She didn’t seem upset or surprised by the request.

Because my job is primarily childcare. That means I prioritize care for your child, not whatever household chore you assign.

Cleaning up after the baby is expected. Doing your meal prep or laundry is not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it sounds like you were raised with a servant, not a nanny. What country are you from? What did your mother do besides have lunch?

I was born and raised in the U.S (in NY if it matters) and I would not describe our nanny as a servant. She was with us all the time and taught us to swim and read. She did housework when we napped and she made dinner while we did homework. My parents didn’t believe in separate meals for kids so just making the children’s meal wouldn’t have made sense. My mother worked.

You didn’t have a nanny. You had a house manager (if she scheduled and supervised repairs, took care of car maintenance and similar tasks) or a housekeeper/nanny. There’s a world of difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This might be a silly question but I was raised with a nanny and this is my first child. We expected to have a nanny, but between COVID and a really unlikely spot opening up in our first choice subsidized daycare, we haven’t hired one. We hired a college student to come in for a few hours a day this summer to provide extra play for the baby while we WFH.

Baby will probably sleep at least 1.5 hours while she’s here. I was thinking of assigning one basic baby task— either washing baby’s lunch dishes and bottles or folding a load of baby laundry— after which I’m happy for her to do whatever she’d like, but I don’t know what is par for the course. Our nanny when I was growing up made family meals and did light housework but I don’t think that’s appropriate for a summer sitter. Can I ask her to go to Starbucks for everyone, for example? I have no idea what is “normal”

No, I don’t think running to get you coffee is appropriate. I suppose child related chores are fine while the baby is asleep but babysitters aren’t nannies so I wouldn’t push. If you lose your sitter you may not be able to find another for the summer.

I thought about this again. You f you are having her run to Starbucks for EVERYONE, including her, and you’re paying for EVERYONE, including her, then that should be ok. But you’d need to find out if she even drinks Starbucks first; if she doesn’t, don’t ask.

[Anonymous]

OP: absolute not. You are looking for a nanny. Babysitters entertain the kids at the pool for the summer, or read books to them. They DO NOT do chores!