Au Pair for Older Child?

[Anonymous]

I'm curious about thoughts/experiences with having an au pair for an older child 10+ as opposed to younger kids. We basically need someone to do afternoon pick ups and do activities with our child in the afternoons.

[Anonymous]

We have two older children (11, 13). We host for school pickups, softball practice, girl scouts and afterschool care before we get home around 6:30pm. We have hosted since they were little but it is helpful so we keep hosting. She also watches them in the summer and on school breaks/snow days/pandemic closures. It's easier to match since we give them the schedule with the most hours for us (summer, by far) but it's still less hours than when we had babies. You need to interview well because you have to weed out au pairs who think it's so much easier to host older kids. It's easier because of the schedule but it's a lot of driving and a lot of attitude. An aupair who likes to read or hang out during the day is going to be the happiest rather than an aupair who wants the activity level of toddlers with storytime and zoo trips.

My husband and I end up taking date night more often now and ask her to help get the kids to orthodontist appointments and dentist appointments. We never did that before, but we have the hours now and it's SO helpful. If you break down the cost, I'm not sure it's the cheapest option out there, but having the summer care makes it easier to justify. We will host until my oldest can drive or we don't see the benefit anymore.

[Anonymous]

If money is not an issue then go for it. It’s hard to justify the amount for one kid for so few hours but if that’s not a concern it’s a great solution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If money is not an issue then go for it. It’s hard to justify the amount for one kid for so few hours but if that’s not a concern it’s a great solution.

Just having a consistent person who won’t bail halfway through a semester makes it worth it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If money is not an issue then go for it. It’s hard to justify the amount for one kid for so few hours but if that’s not a concern it’s a great solution.

Just having a consistent person who won’t bail halfway through a semester makes it worth it!

We’ve had great au pairs and I recommend the program. But just know that it is possible for au pairs to bail out too.

[Anonymous]

Older kids are ok but honestly if you have a son, just pick a male au pair. It's easier for them to bond

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Older kids are ok but honestly if you have a son, just pick a male au pair. It's easier for them to bond

If you can get a male this is the way to go...we have two boys and never would consider a female again. Sooooo much more fun for the kids and they genuinely love being with them.

[Anonymous]

Are the male au pairs extra dirty? Are they open to kids laundry, etc? Do they bring home lots of girls?

[Anonymous]

Our male au pair is cleaner than our female au pair was. Never has he brought home a girl or boy. He is much more engaged and does laundry, good cook. He’s not terrific at doing girls hair. Not a bad trade off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are the male au pairs extra dirty? Are they open to kids laundry, etc? Do they bring home lots of girls?

Is your older boy child allowed to be more "dirty" than your girl children? I guess it is how they are raised, right?
We have hosted some really messy and dirty female aupairs. Some were neat freaks and had a hard time in our little clutter.

We have hosted two male aupairs and I will say that the way to go is to find one that is an older child or is very independent (just like if you were choosing a female aupair).

Male aupairs do all the training female aupairs do but go into this knowing the odds are lower for matching and it may take longer. We have had significantly less drama hosting male aupairs and find that while some may do laundry in an interesting way, they are just as open to learning how we do things and doing them accordingly.