Potential nanny candidate wants to bring her own toddler, anyone have experience with this?

[Anonymous]

I am a SAHM with two under two, my husband works about 70 hours a week and is very hands on when he can be but we are just underwater right now and are looking for a part time nanny. We live in an area with VERY few childcare options and nannies are difficult to find (it's actually why I had to quit my job with my first, we looked for about six months and couldn't find anything). Anyway, a good candidate is interested but wants to bring her toddler with her. I have no issue with her ability to watch two or three kids at once, but I'm worried about a) covid and b) my toddler is...spirited and totally not used to being around others/sharing. I don't want this to be a total nightmare for the nanny where my toddler acts up and is rude/difficult all day because suddenly there's a new kid playing with their toys.

Has anyone had an arrangement like this? There are a ton of great things going for this candidate, this is the only question mark.

[Anonymous]

You are concerned nanny is bringing her toddler because of covid? What exactly is your concern there; is the toddler in part time preschool or a play pod or something? If not, I don't see a reason why bringing her toddler would increase your risk of exposure.

It sounds like you have limited options and that you'll be home all day to observe. Why not just give it a try for 2-3 weeks and then reevaluate whether it's a good working arrangement for your family?

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't do it. I hire a nanny to focus on MY kids. Not theirs AND mine.

[Anonymous]

Nope. Not st those ages.

[Anonymous]

I personally wouldn’t want my child caring for three, young children.

It would just mean that my child would not receive the full attention that he/she would need.

I would keep looking - I am confident you will eventually find someone just as good that won’t need to bring two extra kids into the mix.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

*my Nanny, not child

[Anonymous]

I would be ok with it. I think it will be good for your toddler to learn to share if he has a problem with that right now.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t be opposed but wouldn’t pay full price for an arrangement where my children wouldn’t have her full attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be ok with it. I think it will be good for your toddler to learn to share if he has a problem with that right now.

Agree.

[Anonymous]

No, but if I agreed I wouldn't do full pay as there are 3 kids with three different needs.

[Anonymous]

Are you looking for the nanny to do all three kids at the same time? Is the idea the nanny will have the kids and you will be cleaning, napping, shopping, doing bills? Or are you doing more of a mother's helper / divide and conquer kind of thing. You have the baby and the nanny and toddler and your toddler all play and go to the park and hang out.

I am asking because those feel different to me. More of a mother's helper seems fine for her to bring and would help you out with toddler learning to share. Solo with all three, seems like a nightmare to me.

[Anonymous]

It all depends on her experience. Has she handled two toddlers before (nanny share or similar)? Has she balanced toddler and infant needs before? If so, great. If not, I’d be careful and let her know you’ll try it and reevaluate after 1-2 weeks.

There’s going to be a settling in period anyway. Your toddler needs to not see or hear you, because otherwise they’re just going to cry and scream for you the whole time.

[Anonymous]

We had a nanny for 5 years. She began when my twins were 2 weeks old. She got pregnant after 2 years with us, took 6 weeks off, and came back with her baby in two. For the last 2.5 years she had our twins ages 2.5-5yo and her baby age newborn-2.5yo. She ultimately left when she was pregnant with her second, though we probably would have still kept her on if she felt she could handle it. Honestly, she never missed a beat. She was never late, her own child never interfered with her reliability. We had an agreement that if her baby was sick, she would find alternate care (her MIL or friend) and still work. As far as pay, we hired her in 2014 at $21/hr and gave her raises for the first 3 years which brought her to $25/hr. The last two years, we didn't give her a raise because she was bringing her daughter, but also never decreased her pay. We still did 1-2 weeks pay christmas bonus each year. Honestly, we've had 2 part time nannies since her and neither comes close to filling her shoes. So IMO if the nanny seems good and confident she can handle all three, let her. You can always do a 1 month trial period to see if it is working out.

[Anonymous]

^with her baby in tow*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t be opposed but wouldn’t pay full price for an arrangement where my children wouldn’t have her full attention.

OP doesn’t have tons of terrific candidates. She has one good possibility, and is going to need to pay what that one candidate wants to earn.