Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Would you be upset if a family you nannied for 2.5 years didn’t even give you a card on your last day?
I am extremely hurt. I love their daughter so much. The parents and I had a good relationship and they even had me babysit the other night .

[Anonymous]

This is your job. Its bizarre to expect a gift.

[Anonymous]

Did you get a reference letter? Are they willing to take reference calls?

[Anonymous]

Yes that kind of sucks. Some parents really do view it as a family type relationship whereas others simply look at it as a job that was performed but is no longer needed. If you've worked for this family for over two years I think you would have some sense of how they generally operate.

[Anonymous]

I would like to have received a card from my charges + perhaps a little token of appreciation.

But if your time w/them was truly a great experience & you feel appreciated overall, I would let it go.

[Anonymous]

I was with a family for 7 years and literally got nothing from them on my last day. I gave them plenty of notice too. It sucks OP but we can't control how others behave.

[Anonymous]

Yes I would be hurt, but now you know that you were just the help to them. Cut the ties and never go back for babysitting.

[Anonymous]

Just to throw in another perspective, lots of people don’t think of cards and gifts because it doesn’t occur to them- not because they don’t value you. Have you ever heard of love languages? People have different ones and maybe yours doesn’t line up with the family’s. Sounds like you had a wonderful relationship so please don’t read into the lack of a card. We’ve always done cards and little things for our nannies but that’s because I saw my mom do that kind of thing growing up. DH is a lovely person and a great boss but he would never think of doing something like that because it’s just not something in his mind. His way of showing appreciation is paying good wages, excellent benefits, etc. There are lots of ways of showing care OP. Try not to read too much into it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just to throw in another perspective, lots of people don’t think of cards and gifts because it doesn’t occur to them- not because they don’t value you. Have you ever heard of love languages? People have different ones and maybe yours doesn’t line up with the family’s. Sounds like you had a wonderful relationship so please don’t read into the lack of a card. We’ve always done cards and little things for our nannies but that’s because I saw my mom do that kind of thing growing up. DH is a lovely person and a great boss but he would never think of doing something like that because it’s just not something in his mind. His way of showing appreciation is paying good wages, excellent benefits, etc. There are lots of ways of showing care OP. Try not to read too much into it.

Yep. A friend of mine had never heard of thank you notes until her mid 30's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just to throw in another perspective, lots of people don’t think of cards and gifts because it doesn’t occur to them- not because they don’t value you. Have you ever heard of love languages? People have different ones and maybe yours doesn’t line up with the family’s. Sounds like you had a wonderful relationship so please don’t read into the lack of a card. We’ve always done cards and little things for our nannies but that’s because I saw my mom do that kind of thing growing up. DH is a lovely person and a great boss but he would never think of doing something like that because it’s just not something in his mind. His way of showing appreciation is paying good wages, excellent benefits, etc. There are lots of ways of showing care OP. Try not to read too much into it.

This is a business relationship, not a personal relationship. Most people don't get cards and gifts when they leave a job. A few do, but not many.

[Anonymous]

It's not a good idea to expect others to do what you might do in a situation. Maybe they're not the kind of people who often give cards. My MIL gives us ones where Hallmark wrote the message and all she does is write her and my FIL's name on them. They go in the trash because they mean nothing to me. My best friend sends birthday cards with long handwritten messages in them. Those I keep. If you had gotten a card and it didn't say much, would you still be upset? They just may not be card people. Let it go, honestly. Remember the good times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would like to have received a card from my charges + perhaps a little token of appreciation.

But if your time w/them was truly a great experience & you feel appreciated overall, I would let it go.

The kid here is what, 2.5? He's not out buying or making a card himself. Instead it's completely on the parents to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just to throw in another perspective, lots of people don’t think of cards and gifts because it doesn’t occur to them- not because they don’t value you. Have you ever heard of love languages? People have different ones and maybe yours doesn’t line up with the family’s. Sounds like you had a wonderful relationship so please don’t read into the lack of a card. We’ve always done cards and little things for our nannies but that’s because I saw my mom do that kind of thing growing up. DH is a lovely person and a great boss but he would never think of doing something like that because it’s just not something in his mind. His way of showing appreciation is paying good wages, excellent benefits, etc. There are lots of ways of showing care OP. Try not to read too much into it.

This is a business relationship, not a personal relationship. Most people don't get cards and gifts when they leave a job. A few do, but not many.

The business relationship is with the parents who sign the paycheck. A full time caregiver of a young child needs to truly love that child. Or that child is essentially neglected.