Employers, do you go back and thank references after a year?

[Anonymous]

We love our DS’s nanny so much and I’m so very grateful to her former employers who gave her such glowing references. We just hit our year mark with nanny and I was wondering if it would be appropriate to thank her references again (just in a text) and let them know how happy we are.

[Anonymous]

What a ridiculous thing to do. I would question your sanity.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s a nice idea! I have no clue where the above poster is coming from. It’s always nice to get another thank you.

I still see our former nanny all the time and she’s introduced me to her current employer who has thanked me a couple times in person.

[Anonymous]

My references would think you’re a bit cuckoo.

[Anonymous]

I think that would be strange, OP. Unless your nanny wants to share it herself, it's none of her previous employers' business how her current job is or is not going. Making small chat if you bumped into one of these people might be different, but to go out of your way to reach out-- I would just pass on that.

[Anonymous]

I concur.

This typically is not done.

[Anonymous]

I think it wouldn't be too surprising to receive at the 3 month mark, but 1 year sounds like a lot.

That said, if I received a simple email 1 year out I wouldn't think it was too weird. I wouldn't mind hearing something like this:

Hi there! A while back you gave me a reference for Jane Doe for a nanny position with our family. She's been with us 3 months now and she is a great fit with our family, and really does a fantastic job. I wanted to reach out and thank you for the reference; it was very much appreciated. Sometimes I don't hear back from references and I don't know if it's because they don't want to give a bad reference, they just don't care enough to get back to me, or my request for reference just gets lost in the shuffle.

Thanks again,

Me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a nice idea! I have no clue where the above poster is coming from. It’s always nice to get another thank you.

I still see our former nanny all the time and she’s introduced me to her current employer who has thanked me a couple times in person.

Why would you thank someone for giving an accurate reference. Your Nsnny is great. Not the person who shared the info. Thank the Nanny.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think your heart is in the right place, but as a nanny I have multiple nanny friends with complicated relationships with former families. A lot of people really react badly when their nanny leaves and they may still give and honest and positive review but hearing how happy she is and you are might not be as well-received as you would hope and you don’t want to do something that will come back to bite your nanny. I would just honor this anniversary by letting HER know how happy you are to have found her.

[Anonymous]

I understand the gratitude you feel, OP, but it would be inappropriate to reach out to your nanny's former employers and give feedback about how she's doing in her current job. Can you imagine if your current employer called your former employer doing the same thing?

[Anonymous]

You should thank your nanny .