Au pair duty when 11 year old is sick

[Anonymous]

My husband came home today around noon time only to see our 2 week old au pair in her room, door shut, watching TV - when our 11 year old is in her bed, sick with the flu, she can barely lift her head. I specifically told our new au pair to watch my daughter, make sure she drinks her water, make food for her and try to talk to her & cheer her up - eventhough it's a hard task. She said, yes, of course, gave her food and drinks.

What is an au pair duty when child is sick? We left her alone with the new au pair, all sick for 3 hours only.

[Anonymous]

I'd say this is not ideal, but also no big deal - coach her to have the door open but at 11yo the kid can nap and be checked on every 30 mins or so - no need for a constant vigil.

[Anonymous]

Ideal is a parent staying home if a child is that sick but she should not be in her room with her door shut. Is this her normal working hours? Maybe she felt like she was doing you a favor vs. working.

[Anonymous]

1. 11yo is old enough and mature enough to be checked occasionally.

2. AP should be checking on your 11yo. Unless the child has a condition that means that they may have to be hospitalized? She doesn’t need to hover.

3. Your 11yo needs to sleep. Sure, AP should monitor liquids (make sure the level has changed in between checks, if you child us awake). Otherwise? AP shouldn’t be in there.

[Anonymous]

Maybe AP had her door shut so the TV would not wake the child?

[Anonymous]

It's fine as long as she was checking now and then how your daughter's feeling. What did your husband expect ? To see the Au Pair seated by the door with an eye on your daughter?
No one does that.
The only thing is she should have kept her bedroom door open. Maybe she didn't want to disturb your daughter with noise.

[Anonymous]

I would not want the door closed if the au pair is on duty. Just make this clear that from now on the door needs to be open if she is working.

I think its fine she was watching TV though, Your 11yo probably feels like crap and is just laying in bed, not a whole lot for someone else to do except check on her and bring drinks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband came home today around noon time only to see our 2 week old au pair in her room, door shut, watching TV - when our 11 year old is in her bed, sick with the flu, she can barely lift her head. I specifically told our new au pair to watch my daughter, make sure she drinks her water, make food for her and try to talk to her & cheer her up - eventhough it's a hard task. She said, yes, of course, gave her food and drinks.

What is an au pair duty when child is sick? We left her alone with the new au pair, all sick for 3 hours only.

This does seem unreasonable, OP. Nobody wants to be talked to or be cheered up when they have the flu. They want to be left alone and rest. Maybe ask your AP to keep the door open so that she hears your daughter if she calls for her. But that's pretty much it.

[Anonymous]

You're not unreasonable, OP.

I fully expect a brand new AP to still be trying to engage my kids. This means maybe watching a movie WITH your sick child, cartoons, reading a book to her in bed, or asking if she wants to play games in bed. I'd ask them both if she actually tried to do anything or simply put your child to bed, then gone off to do whatever she wanted with her "extra free time."

If she did absolutely nothing, then I'd reiterate that this was supposed to be work time and taking care of a sick child. Keep an eye on whether she actually does her work, such as child related chores or similarly goofs off because no one's monitoring her. Could she have been doing laundry or something else she's supposed to be doing instead of watching tv?

If she did try (confirmed by both), then great. She did her job and there really wasn't anything else she could have been doing for your child at that time. Maybe all the chores were done too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're not unreasonable, OP.

I fully expect a brand new AP to still be trying to engage my kids. This means maybe watching a movie WITH your sick child, cartoons, reading a book to her in bed, or asking if she wants to play games in bed. I'd ask them both if she actually tried to do anything or simply put your child to bed, then gone off to do whatever she wanted with her "extra free time."

If she did absolutely nothing, then I'd reiterate that this was supposed to be work time and taking care of a sick child. Keep an eye on whether she actually does her work, such as child related chores or similarly goofs off because no one's monitoring her. Could she have been doing laundry or something else she's supposed to be doing instead of watching tv?

If she did try (confirmed by both), then great. She did her job and there really wasn't anything else she could have been doing for your child at that time. Maybe all the chores were done too.

Are you kidding?! No, AP needs to check the child with flu, then stay in the other room. Kid needs to sleep, not watch tv. And AP is trying (understandably) to keep from getting sick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're not unreasonable, OP.

I fully expect a brand new AP to still be trying to engage my kids. This means maybe watching a movie WITH your sick child, cartoons, reading a book to her in bed, or asking if she wants to play games in bed. I'd ask them both if she actually tried to do anything or simply put your child to bed, then gone off to do whatever she wanted with her "extra free time."

If she did absolutely nothing, then I'd reiterate that this was supposed to be work time and taking care of a sick child. Keep an eye on whether she actually does her work, such as child related chores or similarly goofs off because no one's monitoring her. Could she have been doing laundry or something else she's supposed to be doing instead of watching tv?

If she did try (confirmed by both), then great. She did her job and there really wasn't anything else she could have been doing for your child at that time. Maybe all the chores were done too.

Agree with this!

But also assume this AP simply didn’t know. They have to be managed and trained and on and on. Speak to here and watch her performance going forward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband came home today around noon time only to see our 2 week old au pair in her room, door shut, watching TV - when our 11 year old is in her bed, sick with the flu, she can barely lift her head. I specifically told our new au pair to watch my daughter, make sure she drinks her water, make food for her and try to talk to her & cheer her up - eventhough it's a hard task. She said, yes, of course, gave her food and drinks.

What is an au pair duty when child is sick? We left her alone with the new au pair, all sick for 3 hours only.

Its not right to leave a very young adult to care for a sick child who can't even lift their head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband came home today around noon time only to see our 2 week old au pair in her room, door shut, watching TV - when our 11 year old is in her bed, sick with the flu, she can barely lift her head. I specifically told our new au pair to watch my daughter, make sure she drinks her water, make food for her and try to talk to her & cheer her up - eventhough it's a hard task. She said, yes, of course, gave her food and drinks.

What is an au pair duty when child is sick? We left her alone with the new au pair, all sick for 3 hours only.

Its not right to leave a very young adult to care for a sick child who can't even lift their head.

Make up your mind. You can't claim APs are "very young" and have them expect to be treated like a mature adult who makes good decisions, therefore doesn't require things like a curfew. Alternatively, if AP is a "third adult in the household," then caring for a sick child is fair game. It's the flu, not cancer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. 11yo is old enough and mature enough to be checked occasionally.

2. AP should be checking on your 11yo. Unless the child has a condition that means that they may have to be hospitalized? She doesn’t need to hover.

3. Your 11yo needs to sleep. Sure, AP should monitor liquids (make sure the level has changed in between checks, if you child us awake). Otherwise? AP shouldn’t be in there.

THIS! Obviously! OP seems to expect the AP to stay sitting bedside holding hand of 11 yo. Kid needs to just sleep and be brought drinks. If she wants to engage, leave that up to the kid. OP, she's an AP, not a Hospice Nurse.

[Anonymous]

You want the au pair to talk to an 11 yr old girl to "cheer her up"??! What kind of crack are you smoking?!

She should let her sleep. Put a drink next to her bed, give her an iPad so she can watch Cheer, and that's it. What, you wanted the au pair to stand there doing a little tap dance while telling knock knock jokes for four hours?

Lady, you are nuts.