Need Advice: ISO Amazing family for Full Time Nanny Share!

[Anonymous]

Hi you beautiful, powerful, radiant mommas!

I’m in a bind and don’t know what to do, so I asking for some advice from you awesome women.

For the past two years we’ve been part of an amazing nanny share with an incredible nanny. But we’ve done our nanny share differently... we share the nanny full time and the nanny (who has experience with twins) watches both my 2.5 year old and another 2.5 year old from 8-6 every day. Our family and the other family split the hourly rate. We LOVED the family and we LOVE our nanny. So when we got the news that the other family was moving away and their last day was going to be January 3rd, we were super bummed.

Here’s my problem. Our 2.5 year old will be transitioning to daycare in March and since I had another baby 4 weeks ago, I want to keep our fabulous nanny and share her with a new family starting in February or March. But when I post on next door or the mom groups on Facebook, everyone just wants to do it part time? Everyone is asking me if they can do a few days a week.

As the sole breadwinner with two kids under 3, I’m under more stress than I can handle, and this is just adding to the problem. I work for myself and the idea of doubling my child care costs for January and February (since we don’t want to lose our amazing nanny) while not bringing in any income for our household is honestly stressing me to the breaking point if I’m being completely honest.

So what am I doing wrong with the posts I’m making and where on earth are the mommas who work full time and need FULL TIME care when they go back to work?

If you are reading this and you know any new moms in the North Bethesda/Rockville area who are looking for an incredible nanny for 50 hours a week, please please let them know about this post. The nanny will even do a pick up or drop off situation if you live farther away.

Thanks in advance for your insightful advice!

[Anonymous]

So what age of child are you looking for in the share?

Most shares work best when the children are about the same age, so I'm guessing newborn? But will the nanny still have your older child around sometimes too? Will the nanny need to bring your older child to/from daycare (also bringing along the share baby?) If I was a parent looking for a share for a newborn, that would be a deal breaker for me.

I also wouldn't want my older infant/toddler/preschooler in a share with a much younger infant/newborn. I would want my toddler to be able to go out on outings and such and a newborns schedule, particularly in the cold inclement winter months, would hamper that.

So really, I think it comes down to the fact that it doesn't make the share a very attractive option. One reason why you might be getting contacted by those wanting part time is that it's very difficult to find part time care, so even though it isn't an ideal situation, they don't have much choice.

Why will your older child be going to daycare if you have a nanny? If you weren't spending the money on daycare for the older child, wouldn't that free up money to help offset the cost of having exclusive use of your nanny?

You mention "our 2.5 year old" so I assume you have a spouse or a partner? Why are you the sole breadwinner? Can your partner help either by working or by staying home with the kids so you don't need childcare?

[Anonymous]

The 2.5 year old won’t be participating in the nanny share at all. We want her to get more stimulation and socialization and we will handle pickup/drop off. The nanny share will be for my 4 week old plus another infant (that’s what I was hoping).

[Anonymous]

You don’t need insight, OP. You need to advertise farther. Post on neighborhood list servers, Facebook groups, your older child’s preschool and neighboring schools. Ask everyone.

[Anonymous]

The problem is that no one wants to share with a 4 week old. How fair is that it the other family! Also, totally unfair to expect the nanny to do pick up and drop off unless you are paying the IRS rate for mileage which I’m sure you aren’t!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem is that no one wants to share with a 4 week old. How fair is that it the other family! Also, totally unfair to expect the nanny to do pick up and drop off unless you are paying the IRS rate for mileage which I’m sure you aren’t!!!!

Please read OP's post.
Nanny will NOT be tending to the older child at all. Nanny will NOT be doing drop off and pickup for the older child.
Also, the infant is 4 weeks old NOW, but the desired start date is in early January. Baby will be about 7 weeks by then.

Sheesh.

Good luck OP, what you described is a very typical nanny share, so I'm not sure why you think it's unusual?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem is that no one wants to share with a 4 week old. How fair is that it the other family! Also, totally unfair to expect the nanny to do pick up and drop off unless you are paying the IRS rate for mileage which I’m sure you aren’t!!!!

Please read OP's post.
Nanny will NOT be tending to the older child at all. Nanny will NOT be doing drop off and pickup for the older child.
Also, the infant is 4 weeks old NOW, but the desired start date is in early January. Baby will be about 7 weeks by then.

Sheesh.

Good luck OP, what you described is a very typical nanny share, so I'm not sure why you think it's unusual?

correction: OP says in the first post that she doesn't need the share to start until Feb or March - baby will be 12-16 weeks old by then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem is that no one wants to share with a 4 week old. How fair is that it the other family! Also, totally unfair to expect the nanny to do pick up and drop off unless you are paying the IRS rate for mileage which I’m sure you aren’t!!!!

Please read OP's post.
Nanny will NOT be tending to the older child at all. Nanny will NOT be doing drop off and pickup for the older child.
Also, the infant is 4 weeks old NOW, but the desired start date is in early January. Baby will be about 7 weeks by then.

Sheesh.

Good luck OP, what you described is a very typical nanny share, so I'm not sure why you think it's unusual?

Maybe YOU should read????? Where did I say anything about an older child? Can you read? My point is valid- No one wants to do a share with a baby who is 4weeks or 8 weeks. Not fair to the other kid in the share. Please learn to read, you look dumb

[Anonymous]

Also, OP SAID SHE WOULD OFFER THE NANNY TO PICK UP THE OTHER KID IN THE SHARE. Please read before you post a comment asking someone to read!!

[Anonymous]

“The nanny will even do a pick up or drop off situation if you live farther away.“

Yeah I’m sure nanny will LOVE to drive far to pick up the other share kid! Make sure you play Irs mileage

[Anonymous]

OP here: the new baby will be 4 months old at the beginning of the nanny share. The nanny will be watching only two kids - the nanny will not be responsible for the older child. I’m perfectly fine with paying mileage - you are right it’s not fair to ask someone to use their personal car and not reimburse them.

I’m honestly regretting posting here because of all the rude comments. I thought this would be a place for support and building up other mothers. I posted here for support and problem solving. Not to be belittled and spoken to so rudely. Thanks to the poster who defended me. Happy holidays to all here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: the new baby will be 4 months old at the beginning of the nanny share. The nanny will be watching only two kids - the nanny will not be responsible for the older child. I’m perfectly fine with paying mileage - you are right it’s not fair to ask someone to use their personal car and not reimburse them.

I’m honestly regretting posting here because of all the rude comments. I thought this would be a place for support and building up other mothers. I posted here for support and problem solving. Not to be belittled and spoken to so rudely. Thanks to the poster who defended me. Happy holidays to all here.

I’m the poster at 12:59. I was not rude. I was trying to explain to you why your share does not sound attractive to other parents (based on your original description) so you could make sure you clarified and your share would be more appealing.

I think it’s actually quite rude of you to be so dismissive of someone who took time to help you. If this is how you always present yourself, it’s not surprising you are having trouble finding share families.

[Anonymous]

OP, make sure you are clear with prospective families about what your plans are for your toddler for sickness, daycare vacations ( holidays only?), and weather closures. You could also be running into parents concerned about the amount of germs the toddler will bring home.