Is it ok to rematch for not connecting with kids?
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Anonymous
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Au pair is pleasant enough. Very social, does nothing with our family after work hours (works about 25 hours per week).the problem is she hasn’t make a connection with the kids. She doesn’t really engage with them much but she drives them to activities and keeps them
Safe. But it really feels like it is at a minimum. Is that a reason to rematch even if nothing terrible is happening? I’ve tried having conversations about how to connect better with the kids - she thinks that everything is great with them though. |
Anonymous
| Op again. My kids are 11, 8, and 5 so they are able to self entertain...but I prefer to have an au pair they like to engage with. |
Anonymous
| Maybe give her more time to spend with kids. She has an easy gig with 25 hrs only and driving as a main duty. I would schedule her for some extra hours every week so she works at least 35 and has more time to bond with them. Generally yeah you can rematch over that but if your au pair doesn’t have to spend much time with you kids it’s always harder to connect. |
Anonymous
+1 schedule her for more time and tell her it is for her to connect better with the kids. |
Anonymous
| It's fine to rematch for that reason. But if you like her I'd have a reset conversation about it. |
Anonymous
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How do the kids feel about her?
Maybe they have been "connecting" in ways you just haven't seen. |
Anonymous
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That is tough.
Our current ap is same - except NO social life and is always home. Kids do not really like her, we are ambivalent- but she is responsible and clean. We are not rematching as we have had bad APs; and our situation is more of living with someone you do not dislike, but really do not enjoy. Same for kids, but it’s only 6 more months for us. |
Anonymous
How can you put up with that for six more months? That is still a long time. Why settle? |
Anonymous
We have the EXACT same situation. We are done with the program in July. Just going to suck it up. Ours keeps our kids alive and is adequate for what she does, which is drive the kids around after 345. |
Anonymous
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Absolutely.
However, this is a case where you need to warn LCC and AP, then give an opportunity to do better. Be explicit what you want to see. Are kids preferring to watch tv or read than play outside with the AP? Then tell AP that you expect more engagement, such as outside play and physical activity. Also, figure out how you might measure success. Is your aim to see your kids do more stuff TOGETHER with AP... rather than having merely AP exist in the house to make sure your kids are alive and no one calls CPS on you for having a 5yo home without an adult? |
Anonymous
Because you’re not guaranteed to get a better AP just because you rematch. Having a merely good, not excellent AP is a solid outcome. |