When to Bring Up Extension...

[Anonymous]

AP has been here about four months and would depart at the end of August 2020. She is great with DD. Previous AP lasted five months and then we just went into a nanny share while we looked for a new AP. We like her, but worry she won't do well with the cold. Still, the mere thought of going through another AP search is exhausting. How soon would you start talking about rematch? What type of salary bonus would you suggest? We currently pay $250/week, plus phone, gym, and all gas for her dedicated car.

[Anonymous]

Same situation here, our AP has been with us for 4 months and we love her. I have been talking to her indirectly about extensions for 2 weeks now, bringing up some of her friends in 2nd year, just asking if she knows already what she will be doing after she is done.
-Two weeks ago she told me she doesn’t know yet what she wants to do next because her family back home really misses her
-Today we were talking about one of her friends extending and she told me she hasn’t yet met a 2nd year AP who is happy, especially those extending with same family. She says they seem very tired and ready to move on although they might love the family. Most stay because they have a bf or have an arrangement with the family to hire them later when they change status. Tbh I wasn’t that surprised as I heard the same from former AP who extended with us for 6 months coming from another family
- I think she is hinting that she might not want to extend and I totally understand. After that conversation with her I decided it is probably not a good idea to extend and I have started planning accordingly
- Some people here have had good experience with extending but I wonder if HF perspectives might differ to from APs? She says most of her friends are planning to finish the year regardless
- long story short: don’t bring it up directly, just start talking about it in a more general way to see what she thinks! The good thing is the door is still open to bring it up later if we both feel differently. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same situation here, our AP has been with us for 4 months and we love her. I have been talking to her indirectly about extensions for 2 weeks now, bringing up some of her friends in 2nd year, just asking if she knows already what she will be doing after she is done.
-Two weeks ago she told me she doesn’t know yet what she wants to do next because her family back home really misses her
-Today we were talking about one of her friends extending and she told me she hasn’t yet met a 2nd year AP who is happy, especially those extending with same family. She says they seem very tired and ready to move on although they might love the family. Most stay because they have a bf or have an arrangement with the family to hire them later when they change status. Tbh I wasn’t that surprised as I heard the same from former AP who extended with us for 6 months coming from another family
- I think she is hinting that she might not want to extend and I totally understand. After that conversation with her I decided it is probably not a good idea to extend and I have started planning accordingly
- Some people here have had good experience with extending but I wonder if HF perspectives might differ to from APs? She says most of her friends are planning to finish the year regardless
- long story short: don’t bring it up directly, just start talking about it in a more general way to see what she thinks! The good thing is the door is still open to bring it up later if we both feel differently. Good luck!

Actually, we do the exact opposite. We bring up the extension directly a couple of weeks before we would be gearing up for the next AP search. We then give the AP some time to think about it, and after that we know whether she is extending or whether we need to start the search for the next AP. No guessing. No hinting.

[Anonymous]

How much in advance do you search for a new au pair?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How much in advance do you search for a new au pair?

We start pretty early: mid-march for an August arrival.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Same situation here, our AP has been with us for 4 months and we love her. I have been talking to her indirectly about extensions for 2 weeks now, bringing up some of her friends in 2nd year, just asking if she knows already what she will be doing after she is done.
-Two weeks ago she told me she doesn’t know yet what she wants to do next because her family back home really misses her
-Today we were talking about one of her friends extending and she told me she hasn’t yet met a 2nd year AP who is happy, especially those extending with same family. She says they seem very tired and ready to move on although they might love the family. Most stay because they have a bf or have an arrangement with the family to hire them later when they change status. Tbh I wasn’t that surprised as I heard the same from former AP who extended with us for 6 months coming from another family
- I think she is hinting that she might not want to extend and I totally understand. After that conversation with her I decided it is probably not a good idea to extend and I have started planning accordingly
- Some people here have had good experience with extending but I wonder if HF perspectives might differ to from APs? She says most of her friends are planning to finish the year regardless
- long story short: don’t bring it up directly, just start talking about it in a more general way to see what she thinks! The good thing is the door is still open to bring it up later if we both feel differently. Good luck!

Actually, we do the exact opposite. We bring up the extension directly a couple of weeks before we would be gearing up for the next AP search. We then give the AP some time to think about it, and after that we know whether she is extending or whether we need to start the search for the next AP. No guessing. No hinting.

I am the PP, I suggested to do it indirectly because it is too soon. Of course i will bring it up directly with AP before I start looking for new AP. I will do that around Feb/March as well. For me it was important to know where she stands sooner because we have a trip planned around the period she is supposed to finish so I need to plan accordingly.

[Anonymous]

... six months out is generally best, I think. Start with hints around other APs and their choices.

Our first AP and my family were THRILLED that we extended together. Our second AP told us that she wanted to extend but find a new family in another city - and we were relieved to hear it.

Also, talk with your LCC about any insight into what your AP may be thinking or how to approach the subject.