Seeking insight from experienced host moms

[Anonymous]

Our first au pair is ending her time with us in December. She was extended when she started with us so our daughter will be just about 1.25 when she is done.

We would LOVE to have another au pair from Thailand, but I have heard it's near impossible with the current visa situation. So I would love to hear from other host moms who have had multiple au pairs - do you prefer a particular nationality? Is age a bigger factor?

Our au pair is responsible, appreciates structure (for the baby, of course, she is an adult and we give her very few "rules"), is respectful and tidy in common areas and really seems to love our daughter and go the extra mile to make sure she has fun, educational days. We'd love to have someone similar next year!

[Anonymous]

We loved having Thai au pairs too and were very sad that we couldn't get a visa for the one we wanted this round. I did try to find a second year Thai au pair but none were a good fit for our family We ended up matching with a Korean Au Pair who has a lot of the same family-oriented and baby loving qualities. I wouldn't say that our Thai au pairs and our new Korean au pair are similar in a lot of other ways (the Thai au pairs tended to prefer to eat alone for example) but they both have that really warm feeling toward family and children.

[Anonymous]

I think that if your first AP experience with a certain nationality is great you would tend to select the same nationality until things don't go so well. It is really a mater of luck. My first AP was Brazilian and she was great, my current is also Brazilian, she is good not great. For my second I only looked for Brazilians, but I will definitely branch out for my third one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that if your first AP experience with a certain nationality is great you would tend to select the same nationality until things don't go so well. It is really a mater of luck. My first AP was Brazilian and she was great, my current is also Brazilian, she is good not great. For my second I only looked for Brazilians, but I will definitely branch out for my third one.

Same.

[Anonymous]

I think you will find a number of threads here about country selections and stereotypes. Stereotypes have some value, but you have to be conscious that they are just stereotypes. APs are all so individual, it can be hard to discern what is their personality and what is their culture, attributable to the country of origin.

I also had a Thai au pair, and it's funny because friends who also had a Thai au pair previously told me how great the household help was because "it's their culture." You can guess where this is going. My Thai au pair was one of the messiest I've hosted. I liked her well enough--she was sweet and meant well-- but I had wished those friends had not made that comment to me because she definitely did not then meet my expectation. And I am mainly just talking about her cleaning up after herself. She liked to cook Thai food for herself during the day (great!), and she'd usually do her dishes but leave the stove a grease-splattered mess. She's drop her coat wherever, leave her wallet on the sofa, lose car keys. . . She was ok with my kids. They are older.

I have hosted APs from 7 different countries and various parts of the world. I remain open to any country (I think ) and it comes down to other factors for me. Like strong English skills is one of my top factors, for example.

And on the flip side of this, we had only one really horrible match in our years of hosting, and AP from Italy. And it has been interesting how that experience, which left me a little traumatized, has now colored my views of Italy and Italians. Not really rational, but it just reminds me of this horrible experience. . .

[Anonymous]

I have an extremely strong preference for Germany. We hosted one non-German and it really made me double down. But like PPs said; this isn’t entirely rational.

[Anonymous]

I have hosted 3 Brazilians and one French. We loved them all but I was extremely thorough in my interviews. My first 2 Brazilians were best friends back home.

I look for APs with backgrounds/careers in Nursing or Education. I have not matched with anyone under 21.

I am ok with weaker English as i like that my APs are here to strengthen their language skills in order to get a better job back home. Not looking for an AP on a gap year/party year.