Helping Kids Connect with Au Pair

[Anonymous]

Hello,
We have our first Au Pair, and my kids are having a hard time connecting. It has only been about three weeks, but I was hoping for any tips or suggestions or perhaps thoughts on if this is an issue. Our Au Pairs English is much worse than we expected, not conversational even. We had problems initially because she was saying yes she understood stuff, and she didn't ( she would just agree). We are working with google translate, writing stuff off and talking slower and repeating oursevles so that problem is getting better. However, my daughter ( 6) who is in camps most of the time so not as much interaction at this moment, does not want to seem to interact with her at all. It started out great, but now she barely acknowledges her. When I ask why, she tells me it's because she can't understand her . My son-- also ( who the au pair is with all the time) has not warmed up at all. When I work from home ( I hide so he doesn't know I am home), I can hear them and she just doesn't make a ton of initiative with him. I don't know if it is language barrier or something else? To be fair he is a hard age ( just turned 4) and he takes awhile to warm up to people. I am not sure if this is a red flag, or something I should be doing to help them bond more? Is this normal at the beginning?

Thank you for any comments/help

[Anonymous]

IF it's just a language barrier, that can be helped. And a skilled person can bond with kids regardless of language. I've worked with kids all over the world--there's always a game that can be played...

If she is not making any effort, that's a whole other issue and yes a red flag. 3 weeks is adequate time for some progress. I'd loop in the LCC so it's documented and see what they suggest. A support meeting might be good.

[Anonymous]

She should try and take up the kids interest, it’s what I do as a nanny
Oh your boy likes dinosaurs? Let’s play with Dino’s, let’s act like we are Dino’s, heck print a picture of a Dino and color it in together
Oh he likes to go to the playground? Let’s go
Oh he likes to ride bikes, let’s get the bike out
Can’t be that hard to connect with children if you do what they like to do, you can’t just sit around do nothing or stuff they don’t like

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She should try and take up the kids interest, it’s what I do as a nanny
Oh your boy likes dinosaurs? Let’s play with Dino’s, let’s act like we are Dino’s, heck print a picture of a Dino and color it in together
Oh he likes to go to the playground? Let’s go
Oh he likes to ride bikes, let’s get the bike out
Can’t be that hard to connect with children if you do what they like to do, you can’t just sit around do nothing or stuff they don’t like

+1 Get off your butt and put yourself in the children's world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:IF it's just a language barrier, that can be helped. And a skilled person can bond with kids regardless of language. I've worked with kids all over the world--there's always a game that can be played...

If she is not making any effort, that's a whole other issue and yes a red flag. 3 weeks is adequate time for some progress. I'd loop in the LCC so it's documented and see what they suggest. A support meeting might be good.

Support meeting ASAP. Send a clear message that there has to be improvement in her English or she's headed for rematch. See if that helps motivate her. You already have 2 red flags for rematch 1) language and 2) lack of engagement with the kids.

[Anonymous]

Sign her up for English classes asap if it's not already done.

It's only been 3 weeks, I'd give her some more time to warm up BUT you need to have a conversation with her.
Show her some support, talk to the kids and tell them to be nice when she does mistakes and ask them to "teach" her a few words when they can, they'll feel happy to help and they can bond this way too.