How would you handle AP not getting to school for kid PU?

[Anonymous]

Hi all. I just got a call from school saying my child still had not been picked up. I called AP who had just arrived at school (50 minutes after dismissal time) and she explained that she had a hair highlight appointment in town and got lost on the way from hair salon to school, causing her to arrive late.

How would you handle it? She didn't call me to let me know she was late or lost. My office is 45 min from school, but our house is 5 minutes. She has otherwise been punctual. It is a little irksome that I arranged an event for her this morning - something she requested, but she didn't tell me she was going to go ahead and schedule a 2 hour hair appointment the same day or I would have told her there wasn't enough time.

[Anonymous]

I'm fairly easy going but I would lose my sh*t in that case. Not picking up my kid on time would lead to a serious reset conversation. Especially if it is for such a silly request and she didn't call or alert me that something was wrong.

If I kept the au pair I would text every day one hour before pickup to be sure they were on time.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, that's really really bad. And we are extremely easygoing - like we happily allowed our au pair to have a house party with her friends while we were out of town (because she has an impeccable track record of responsibility and would never ever do something like the above).

[Anonymous]

I had to laugh My own mother was always the last mom to pick me up at birthday parties or after school or at the movies. Many times I/ the school/ the birthday host had to call to remind her. I just take this stuff in stride. No helicoptering.

[Anonymous]

I would let her know if it happens again that you will go into rematch. That isn't ok when she had all day to do a hair appointment or evening or weekend depending on her time off.

[Anonymous]

I bet she didn’t realize how long her appointment would take and was stuck in foil.

Honestly I would skip the reset convo. She presumably knows she fucked up and that it’s a huge deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had to laugh My own mother was always the last mom to pick me up at birthday parties or after school or at the movies. Many times I/ the school/ the birthday host had to call to remind her. I just take this stuff in stride. No helicoptering.

You are much nicer than I am. We emphasize from the first day that the APs number one job is pick up. I have them set an alarm for themselves every day until they get into the groove because if they miss it they can’t stay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I bet she didn’t realize how long her appointment would take and was stuck in foil.

Honestly I would skip the reset convo. She presumably knows she fucked up and that it’s a huge deal.

I’m sure that she realized 20 mins before school pickup, 15 mins ... 5 mins before pickup that she was not going to make it on time. Heck, she could have left with wet hair, called you to let you know the situation, so many possibilities.

I would be extremely upset with the lack of judgement on her end. It would be a hard reset discussion and more oversight on my end for at least the next few months.

[Anonymous]

My issue would not be so much about misjudging the duration of her hair appointment, but about excerising poor judgement by not calling you. I would definitely have a serious conversation and emphasize the latter. Sh*t happens. But I would want to know ASAP, so that I can decide on the proper course of action.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I bet she didn’t realize how long her appointment would take and was stuck in foil.

Honestly I would skip the reset convo. She presumably knows she fucked up and that it’s a huge deal.

I’m sure that she realized 20 mins before school pickup, 15 mins ... 5 mins before pickup that she was not going to make it on time. Heck, she could have left with wet hair, called you to let you know the situation, so many possibilities.

I would be extremely upset with the lack of judgement on her end. It would be a hard reset discussion and more oversight on my end for at least the next few months.

Agree. It is hard to get “lost” for an hour with GPS and she should have called. I think she was hoping to get away with it and did not realize she was going to be so late the school would call. It would not hurt to ask the teacher if she has been late before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My issue would not be so much about misjudging the duration of her hair appointment, but about excerising poor judgement by not calling you. I would definitely have a serious conversation and emphasize the latter. Sh*t happens. But I would want to know ASAP, so that I can decide on the proper course of action.

OP here, thank you and yes. If she is telling the truth (and I think she is), she left her hair appointment an hour ahead of pick up time and hit some traffic (school is about 20 min away from where she was sans traffic). BUT she had at least half an hour after pick up time to alert me. When I asked how she would have done it differently if she could rewind time, she didn't mention calling me. When I told her she always needs to call me in any kind of situation when late or if kids are hurt, she said it would have added to her stress in the car. (!!) She also said she thinks her GPS isn't working and wants to get a new phone...

I have laid out the requirement clearly (call immediately). While we selected a college graduate, 23 years old, a teacher who wants to work with kids for her career and there are many wonderful things about yet personality, this isn't the first time we've had something come up around poor judgement. I have not gone through rematch and really dread the idea of it...

[Anonymous]

You can’t fix poor judgment. Keep an eye out and rematch if you don’t see MUCH better judgment exercised immediately and consistently.

I’d alert your LCC/area director and ask for a support meeting to emphasize responsibility and judgment. Primarily to document and follow through on what you’d have to do for rematch if you go that direction. We got burned by CCAP for failing to follow procedure (support meeting, two weeks to improve) when we eventually decided we’d had enough of the lying and major mistakes (including safety issues) by our au pair. We had talked to the LCC many times but hadn’t had a SUPPORT MEETING, so the agency gave us a really hard time.

Good luck to you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had to laugh My own mother was always the last mom to pick me up at birthday parties or after school or at the movies. Many times I/ the school/ the birthday host had to call to remind her. I just take this stuff in stride. No helicoptering.

"Just take it in stride" when you (or your mom, or the OP's AP) are causing an issue for the teacher/party host to have to accommodate your irresponsibility. Yes, it's definitely laugh worthy when someone else has to hang around for nearly an hour because your mom/AP are too selfish to honor their responsibilities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can’t fix poor judgment. Keep an eye out and rematch if you don’t see MUCH better judgment exercised immediately and consistently.

I’d alert your LCC/area director and ask for a support meeting to emphasize responsibility and judgment. Primarily to document and follow through on what you’d have to do for rematch if you go that direction. We got burned by CCAP for failing to follow procedure (support meeting, two weeks to improve) when we eventually decided we’d had enough of the lying and major mistakes (including safety issues) by our au pair. We had talked to the LCC many times but hadn’t had a SUPPORT MEETING, so the agency gave us a really hard time.

Good luck to you!

This. The next time it happens and you decide to go into rematch, the LCC may give you a hard time about not having had a reset conversation/mediation meeting. So go ahead and do it now so it counts.

Honestly, your AP is going to screw up again if you've already seen a pattern of poor judgment. Like PP suggested, ask the school if late pickup has happened before. I bet it has and she just hasn't said anything about it because it hasn't been this extreme before...

[Anonymous]

50 minutes late is absolutely unacceptable.
I would have a very stern conversation with her, telling her it can never happen again. Her job is her #1 priority and no excuses are allowed. She should check it out on her GPS ahead of time. Don't make appointments that come anywhere close to pickup times.

Then ask her if she can abide by the rules, or do you need to rematch now.
Plus, inform your LCC and have her make a note of it, in case you eventually rematch.