Nanny share when you're the family that hosts
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Anonymous
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Hi everyone,
We have been in a nanny share for about six months now, and had a meeting today with the other couple and our nanny to discuss a few things. Although this isn't something that we discussed at our meeting, now we have opened the lines of communication, I would like to bring up a topic with the other family. We host the nanny share, and this is our preference. However, as the family that hosts, there are small financial things that add up, both in terms of resources (paper towels, open fridge policy for our nanny, etc - some of this is obviously debatable in terms of sharing expense) and bills (like increased use in electricity, water, etc.). What is the appropriate way to handle asking the other family for compensation? We discussed proposing that the other couple just give us a monthly amount, kind of like "dues", that we could then put toward the nanny share (even including diapers and wipes since the kids wear the same size). Can anyone expand on what you have done/what you feel is appropriate in terms of hosting vs non-hosting family? Thanks in advance. |
Anonymous
| As the host, you have the advantage of not having to get your kid out the door each morning. Maybe the other family will ask you to contribute "dues" towards their gas and mileage for transporting their kid to and from your house? |
Anonymous
| The open fridge policy is your choice and you choose to have it at your house. Agree with the PP that they are inconvenienced by transporting their child and packing them up, so its a wash. Each family should provide their own supplies, like diapers and wipes. Everyone uses different brands/kinds. I would not want to give you a flat sum for you to buy and would rather buy my own (my kid had reactions to some brands). |
Anonymous
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Agree with others. You have the benefit of not having to take your kid anywhere or pick up after a long day. Your kid gets to sleep in his own bed. When you have a Nanny you incur costs like extra electric and food being eaten. This would happen if you were not in a share.
I think you can ask the family to provide their own diapers, wipes etc but thats it. |
Anonymous
| You benefit from having your child at home. It would be totally inappropriate to ask the other family to pay for added electricity or paper towel! Try it - approach the subject with the other couple - and see how fast they run! |
Anonymous
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You should each buy your own diapers and wipes.
Asking them to contribute to your electricity and water bill is a no. Do not ask them to do that. As others have pointed out, you have the benefit of not packing up your child daily/adding in pickup/drop off to your commute, etc. How much is it *really* affecting your bill? It's not like the nanny is taking hour long showers at your house. You could ask them to contribute to things like paper towels. Regarding the fridge: How much is your nanny actually affecting your grocery bill? |
Anonymous
| If you ask the other family to contribute any money to your household expenses, you’ll be looking for new share partners very soon. |
Anonymous
| Why don't you rotate weeks? One week at your house, one at theirs. |
Anonymous
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I’m the OP. In the other family one of the parents works from home so this is why we don’t rotate houses and why often it’s not a huge rush or inconvenience to get the kid here. There have also been times when our nanny has used our diapers and wipes for their kid (for more than a day) when they haven’t replenished them. Separate issue, sure, but it’s what led me to consider all this. My post might seem petty, but given that the other family uses their house as an office, they benefit in many ways from us hosting. I suppose I was also thinking about daycare when our older son went and how we would bring in tissues and paper products monthly which were shared by all kids.
This is our first nanny share and I thought the question was pretty reasonable, but in true DCUM fashion you all have put me right in my place. |
Anonymous
This is generally a bad thing for the children. They need stability as much as possible. |
Anonymous
| Your question might have been reasonable, but it was a question and you got responses. The responses just weren’t what you wanted to hear. I agree that you shouldn’t be supplying diaper or wipes, your nanny should be warning them when they are running low. But you do have the convenience of your child being in their own familiar surroundings. |
Anonymous
| Nope. You get the ease of not having to bring your child anywhere as compensation. |
Anonymous
Kids are fine if its every other week. Parent provide stability. This is child care. You are being overly dramatic. |
Anonymous
They can absolutely host but you want to as its easier for you. It is an inconvenience for them to bring child over to your house even working at home. If anything its more of an inconvenience as they have to leave the house vs. doing it on the way to work. If the child is out of diapers and wipes, did you or the nanny tell the parents? That is on you or the nanny to tell them. Its not normal to bring tissues and paper products to a child care setting. Never have I done that for mine nor did I when I worked child care. |
Anonymous
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The Nanny or you should most definitely let the other share family know that they need to provide their own diapers + wipes.
No way should you be expected to provide these. I wouldn’t ask the share family for compensation for your water, electric, etc. bills because it may make the other family feel awkward. I know I would feel kind of embarrassed if someone asked me to contribute to their utilities. Good luck! |