Male AP with a SAHM?

[Anonymous]

Longtime HM here. All of our male APs have had mothers who worked. I'm interviewing one i like and just discovered his mom is a SAHM and takes care of the house. We don't ask a ton of household tasks but we do like a neat/orderly house. Our APs/BPs work 25ish hours/week so I would have room to "assign" tasks if I needed, but I prefer not to and just have the person do them. Does anyone have experience with a male AP who grew up in a household with a mom who was home? Four of ours were from single-mom households with working moms. The last was from a household with two working parents. I am a little concerned that a boy growing up with a SAHM will expect me to pick up after him, rather than him helping my kids to pick up after themselves. Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

I would actually assume that the ones from the "working mom" households had a maid, or at least a regular cleaning lady, come in to do most of the tasks.

A SAHM may have actually taught the AP how to do things, rather than relying on someone else to come in and do it for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would actually assume that the ones from the "working mom" households had a maid, or at least a regular cleaning lady, come in to do most of the tasks.

A SAHM may have actually taught the AP how to do things, rather than relying on someone else to come in and do it for him.

Op here and no. If meant they were poor and kids did it all.

[Anonymous]

By your title, I thought you were asking if a male au pair was a good choice for a sahm. You really want a male ap from a sahm.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to ask this question directly to your au pair during your skype interviews. Ask what chores they do around the house and let them know what chores you expect them to do in your house. This isn't really something where you can generalize between SAHM and Working mom.

I'm a man whose mom stayed at home, and I was doing my own laundry, cooking some, and doing the dishes every night since I was around 10-12 years old.

[Anonymous]

This has nothing to do with SAH and parenting. Do him a favor and let him go with a family who wants and appreciates him. You sound like you have an issue with SAH's.

[Anonymous]

I had an AP who was an only child with a SAHM and she was a disaster. We rematched.
Then I had an AP who was the oldest of 6 with a SAHM and she was amazing.

Ask him the rest of his family dynamic and ask him to describe a typical weekday while he was in highschool.

Personally I would avoid, just to be safe. So many APs to choose from- I wouldn't take the risk.