What would be appropriate extra comp in this situation?
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Anonymous
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DD's best friend at preschool is picked up by her mom who has an infant and is heavily pregnant. I know she could use some help and am thinking of asking DD's part-time nanny whether she would be okay picking up DD and her BFF together one day weekly or biweekly for a play date. School pick-up is at 3:30pm and I'd ask BFF's mom to pick up her daughter by 5pm. Our home and playgrounds are a five minutes' walk from preschool so no driving involved. DD's nanny is a former preschool teacher and great at play dates.
Of course, DD's nanny would need to be paid for this. What would be a reasonable comp from the points of view of both nanny and BFF's mom? BFF's mom would be happy for the extra help, but I'm pretty sure she won't pay the full going rate for a babysitter in our area ($15/hr * 1.5 hours = $22.50). The extra child charge around here is $2-5/hr. I was thinking ballpark $10 for the 1.5 hours, but I'll ask nanny what she thinks first. The girls are well-behaved. The only potential difficulty I see is that DD might act up because she has to share nanny. If nanny at any time says she's not happy with the arrangement, it will stop. I would present it as a 'let's try it once and see how it goes' so there's no expectation on BFF's mom's side. If anyone's wondering why I'm putting so much thought into this, it would be great for DD to have a regular play date with a school friend, especially since they'll be in the same class next year, too. |
Anonymous
| Leave it alone. Mom is fine is she isn't asking for help. It is not a playdate if you are charging mom/having her pay your nanny extra. You are doing it for your need, not the mother's need as you want the girls to play together. Then, you invite the child over during your time, not the nanny's and let them play. Not everything is a playdate. That is you creating a nanny share. |
Anonymous
| So the other mom has an infant and at 5pm you want her to stop doing what she's doing and go over to your house to pick up her kid? 5pm is dinner time for an infant and toddler. |
Anonymous
She's creating a nanny share with a SAHP so she can save money WHEN Mom has not asked her to do it nor probably wants to. She's calling it a playdate to cover the fact that she's charging the other parent to save herself money. I feel had for her nanny. |
Anonymous
| So she has an infant and is heavily pregnant? How old is the infant and how many months is she pregnant? As a previous commenter said, leave it alone. She’s not asking for your help. It sounds like this is more convenient for you than it will be for the other mom. |
Anonymous
Not only is she not asking for help, but she still has to pick up the child at OP home at the time designated by OP as OP is not offering to drop off the child. If OP wants a playdate, you do one but you don't charge pregnant mom a fee when its about your want, not hers. |
Anonymous
| Does anyone else feel like this is the nanny at the bus stop post in reverse? Nanny offered to help and then suddenly mom on maternity leave was getting a bill? |
Anonymous
No. I think it is what it claims to be. |
Anonymous
I think its a bit bizarre to offer to have your nanny host a playdate and then charge the other parent (claiming it will help them but either way parent has to pick up child). |
Anonymous
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Haha you're ridiculous, OP. If you want to help this mom out, cover the extra $10 yourself and have your nanny drop the friend off at home after the playdate. It is totally bizarre that you want to propose this arrangement and have her pay for it!
If another mom proposed this to me, I'd think they were crazy, then laugh with my husband that evening about how insulting the proposal was. |
Anonymous
| If you want to help out this mom, make the offer and pay your nanny an additional $25 each time she takes care of the additional child. |
Anonymous
This is crazy too why should OP pay to take care of someone else’s child? Agree with PPs leave things be or offer to do playdate when you are there. If mom asks for help then offer for your nanny (assuming your nanny is ok) to take care of her child for some extra $ |
Anonymous
Mom is not asking. OP wants it for socialization for her child. It is about OP needs, not the Mom's needs. OP should pay as she's insisting nanny get more money and wants the play date. |
Anonymous
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I have to agree here w/100% of the respondents.
If your daughter’s BFF’s Mother hasn’t directly asked you personally for help, than I wouldn’t offer this set-up, then expect the Mother to shell out her own $$. It sounds like a sales pitch & may turn her off you. (No offense - who could blame her?) If you actually want to genuinely help this person out, then extend an offer of a weekly/bi-weekly play date for the girls and you offer your Nanny $25 extra for the add’l child. |
Anonymous
| Omg don’t ask her friend’s mom to pay!! You pay! |