Is there any advantage to having an out of country AP vs an Extension AP?

[Anonymous]

My first AP was a six months extension AP, I wanted to test the program and see if it works for us, she was great. Now I am looking for AP for one year and I see a decent amount of second year APs looking for family to extend with. Is there any advantage to taking an out of country AP vs an Extension AP? With my extension AP, she already had US bank account, knew how to drive, no chance of cultural shock, she was ready on day one. With an Out of country AP, the only advantage imo is that they might end up extending with us thus saving us some $$, time etc, but how many AP actually extend with the same family? am I missing something?

[Anonymous]

I enjoy introducing America to a new AP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I enjoy introducing America to a new AP.

Fair enough. I haven't had that experience, maybe I would enjoy it as well.

[Anonymous]

A few things to consider:

- An extension AP has already spent a year forming a relationship with another family and probably has more definite ideas about what the the host family AP relationship should be. If your idea and her's don't match up, you may have a greater chance of disappointment than if you were getting someone "fresh" who didn't have as many pre-conceived notions.
- Along the same lines, an extension AP may have done things a certain way that worked for a prior host family. If you ask her to change those things/ways, there could be a chance of conflict.
- A lot of what we have enjoyed about hosting is sharing a new adventure with our APs. Everything is less new for an AP who has already been here for a year. I think there is a greater risk of burn out
- Of my current and prior APs friends who have ended up in rematch or simply leaving the program early, a disproportionate number have been extension APs.

We actually do not consider extending with any of our APs (mostly because of the third bullet above) and would not consider an extension AP. YMMV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A few things to consider:

- An extension AP has already spent a year forming a relationship with another family and probably has more definite ideas about what the the host family AP relationship should be. If your idea and her's don't match up, you may have a greater chance of disappointment than if you were getting someone "fresh" who didn't have as many pre-conceived notions.
- Along the same lines, an extension AP may have done things a certain way that worked for a prior host family. If you ask her to change those things/ways, there could be a chance of conflict.
- A lot of what we have enjoyed about hosting is sharing a new adventure with our APs. Everything is less new for an AP who has already been here for a year. I think there is a greater risk of burn out
- Of my current and prior APs friends who have ended up in rematch or simply leaving the program early, a disproportionate number have been extension APs.

We actually do not consider extending with any of our APs (mostly because of the third bullet above) and would not consider an extension AP. YMMV.

oh WOW thanks for this, I had never heard of an extension AP going into rematch. I assumed they knew what they signed up for.

[Anonymous]

I’ve hosted both extension and out-of-country, and the main advantage to having an extension AP was that, as you stated, she was ready from day one. We didn’t have to invest 2-4 weeks getting her up and running, opening a bank account, spending time driving with her, introducing her to the grocery stores and products, helping her through homesickness, culture shock, and suggesting social networks, and waiting to see if it will all work out.
My extension AP was capable, but our relationship wasn’t as warm and connected. It may be because we were the third or fourth HF for this AP (she had rematches in her first year), or maybe there’s different priorities if extending with a different family in the second year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few things to consider:

- An extension AP has already spent a year forming a relationship with another family and probably has more definite ideas about what the the host family AP relationship should be. If your idea and her's don't match up, you may have a greater chance of disappointment than if you were getting someone "fresh" who didn't have as many pre-conceived notions.
- Along the same lines, an extension AP may have done things a certain way that worked for a prior host family. If you ask her to change those things/ways, there could be a chance of conflict.
- A lot of what we have enjoyed about hosting is sharing a new adventure with our APs. Everything is less new for an AP who has already been here for a year. I think there is a greater risk of burn out
- Of my current and prior APs friends who have ended up in rematch or simply leaving the program early, a disproportionate number have been extension APs.

We actually do not consider extending with any of our APs (mostly because of the third bullet above) and would not consider an extension AP. YMMV.

oh WOW thanks for this, I had never heard of an extension AP going into rematch. I assumed they knew what they signed up for.

When we rematched, there were at least 2 APs that wanted to "finish strong" with about 6 months or less left in their second year. Plus they had rematched in their first year too, so we could have been host family #3 or #4.

If you have a choice between in country and out of country, most host families would steer clear of these APs.

Also, extension APs could be looking to perk shop. You would need to ask both AP and 1st host family whether an extension with them was on the table or rejected and by which party. Sometimes APs just don't want to work nights/weekends their 2nd year. Other times they feel they "deserve" a dedicated AP car with free gas that they can drive wherever and whenever they want or other freedoms their first host family didn't offer. We talked to one who really just wanted no curfew on weeknights so she could sleep over at her boyfriend's and arrive every morning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few things to consider:

- An extension AP has already spent a year forming a relationship with another family and probably has more definite ideas about what the the host family AP relationship should be. If your idea and her's don't match up, you may have a greater chance of disappointment than if you were getting someone "fresh" who didn't have as many pre-conceived notions.
- Along the same lines, an extension AP may have done things a certain way that worked for a prior host family. If you ask her to change those things/ways, there could be a chance of conflict.
- A lot of what we have enjoyed about hosting is sharing a new adventure with our APs. Everything is less new for an AP who has already been here for a year. I think there is a greater risk of burn out
- Of my current and prior APs friends who have ended up in rematch or simply leaving the program early, a disproportionate number have been extension APs.

We actually do not consider extending with any of our APs (mostly because of the third bullet above) and would not consider an extension AP. YMMV.

oh WOW thanks for this, I had never heard of an extension AP going into rematch. I assumed they knew what they signed up for.

I have rematched an extension. It happens...
I won't take another one. They are either looking for a better experience (less work, better location, less kids, etc.) or have a boyfriend/heavy local friend network they don't want to leave behind. A lot are entitled.

I only take OOC...for the fresh experience.
I have taken a rematch as well...and you need to screen hard.

[Anonymous]

We had one extension AP and that was the only one who didn't work out - she went home early after 5 months with us. (This was the only AP that didn't work out from the 7 APs we had, including 2 APs that extended for 6 months with us).

After that, we limited to OOC.

In her case, there was a lack of enthusiasm for doing . . . well . . . anything at all. We were blinded by the "ease" of not having to do the bank account, explain the washing machine, etc stuff and didn't screen for the right qualities (which includes showing initiative and energy/enthusiasm).

[Anonymous]

We have had both out of country and extension au pairs. Our experience with pros / cons is pretty similar to what others have said. While our extension au pair was ready from day one, she came with some emotional baggage and fixed expectations based on her year one experience. She also kept her distance for a while, having had a tough relationship with her previous host mom.

It has taken more time to get our out of country au pairs fully up and running (bank account, Social Security card, driving, etc.). But, we have also found them very willing to learn our routines, and they have both learned quickly.

[Anonymous]

We've had both as well.

I would say a huge advantage to having an extension AP, so that they know what it's like to be an AP, even if it's with another family and different routine.

I feel no matter how upfront I am in the matching process about what's like to be an au pair - from dealing with kids and their needs, being homesick, etc.... I find they are all surprised by it, some so much, that they end up going home.